Drowning
by odestaonly
Summary: Blood is what I see all around me. It's in my hair. It's on my face. It paints the rocky terrain red. The color red used to be my favorite but now it just reminds me of death. The story of Annie's games and how she fell for a certain green eyed fellow. ON HIATUS
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One **

I turn towards my clock in my dark bedroom and see it is almost five in the morning . Five a.m. is the tie I get up every morning… well all but one. Sometimes the sun isn't even up yet but it is the best time to go fishing or at least that is what they tell us. Some argue time doesn't matter. I don't really think about it. Besides, getting up early in the morning gives me some alone time.

My Father is always up this early because it is his job as a fisherman of District 4. It's not the most glamorous job but it is one most people have. More people would probably like this job if it wasn't for the quota. The Capitol sets it for us and sometimes it seems impossible but the peacekeeper aren't too strict about it.

I wait for the buzzing sound to go off but it doesn't come. I close my eyes and breath in and out deeply.

There is only one day when the alarm doesn't go off and that is reaping day. The day that marks the start of the yearly Hunger Games celebration.

I would use the word celebration lightly. It isn't considered in most place. IN my house the Hunger Games is not a celebration but a plague that festers all year.

The Hunger Games was created 70 years ago in the nation known as Panem. It was made after what people call the Dark Days. The 13 Districts of Panem started a rebellion to free themselves from the grip of the Capitol. However, the Districts ended up failing and we were left with only 12 Districts.

District 13 was blown off the map into nothingness. As if that wasn't bad enough, they created a pageant known as the Hunger Games to further our punishment. Each year two teens from each District aged 12 to 18 are chosen to be offered up as tributes. These tributes are brought to the Capitol to be paraded around in ridiculous outfits, interviewed, and then taken to an arena where a fight to the death ensues.

The arena can be anything. I've seen everything from snowy terrains to hot deserts. The arenas are also filled with deadly traps from the gamemakers, the people who built the arena. The gamemakers also judge our survival rate.

It is the law that all citizens watch the Hunger Games until it's end. Of course, they want us to witness 23 children being murdered. The lone victor of the Hunger Games gets awarded prizes, money, glory, and a House in victors' village. Victors' village the place where all the victors live after they won the games they almost hide away from us. The village is so far away that it makes me think they are meant to stay away from the rest of us.

Some Distircts have childern chomping at the bit to volunteer for the Hunger Games. They want to give their District pride or something along those lines. Those tributes are known as careers. My District is considered a career District. WE have a small training academy, but we don't get volunteers every year. We do produce more victors than other Districts though.

I sigh deeply. Even though I am supposed to sleep in today I can't take it. I will just keep thinking about the reaping and the games.

_You're 18 Annie. This is your last year. _I think to myself.

After this I will no longer have to worry about competing in a death arena. I will just have to worry about every day struggles.

I sit up in bed and pull my messy hair into a pony tail. I'm not going to bother getting made up yet when I am going to be smelling like fish soon. I pull on my worn down tan fishing boots, jeans, and a messy white t-shirt that I only wear when I gut fish,

I leave my bedroom. When I walk past my brother's room I can hear his soft snore. I wonder when I am no longer eligible if I will enjoy sleeping in on reaping day. I leave a note for my Mother because I know she worries, even more so on this day.

As soon as I leave the house the smell of the sea is everywhere. From past arenas I know lost of other Districts don't know how to swim. I can't imagine that being a possibility because in District 4 that is a part of you. Some people learn to swim even before they can walk, it comes second nature to us.

Despite this being a day off I still see plenty of people at the docs and boating marina. I go and rent a fishing pole. I could've brought one from home but didn't want to make too much noise. I wanted a little alone time before the reaping.

I grab the worm and secure it to the hook and toss it in the water. I like seeing the ripples in the water. It's silent not even the seagulls are making a sound. The sound of the waves is relaxing it goes well with the smell of the sea.

After I catch 4 fish I go to a gutting table. Gutting fish is not my favorite thing about fishing it is messy and smelly.

"Hey Annie." I hear as I am scaling a fish.

I look up and see my friend Luna.

"Hey." I say back.

Luna has the classic District 4 look tan skin, golden hair, and sea green eyes. I don't have the classic look with my brown hair and slightly pale skin, but I do have the sea green eyes.

"Fishing this early?" She asks me with a smile.

Her family work at this small arena her house is right on the ocean. My house is tucked away in a small part of town where all the fishermen live. You don't have a beachfront view, but it isn't a shack either.

"I needed some alone time before the reaping. I wanted some time to think." I say softly.

"Ah right the reaping." She says just as softly.

As if talking quietly will make it go away. The peacekeepers hear won't care unless we are speaking ill of the games. They are the Capitol's dogs and everyone knows this. They leave us alone for the most part.

I nod and continue to clean the fish.

"Yuck." I whisper to myself as I pull out the innards of the fish I am cleaning. I've been cleaning fish since I was a little girl and I still find myself saying yuck when pulling out the innards. I toss them in a bucket and put the clean fish to the side.

"Those would go well with bread. The bakery is having the reaping day sale." She says with a smile.

"That's my brother's job." I say.

She smiles. I know she has always had a crush on my older brother.

"Right Chris." She says and tucks a piece of her golden hair behind her ear.

I nod.

"All done." I say loud enough for her to hear.

She looks down at the fish I've cleaned.

"You heading back home?" She asks.

"Yeah, I need to change."

"Best clothes for the reaping." She says in the nasally Capitol accent.

"May the odds be in your favor." I say walk past her. It's something our escort says right before the blind draw.

The walk back to the house seems to be shorter than usual. Everything today seems to move quicker than usual.

When I walk inside I see my Mother picking at her cuticles and my brother slicing a loaf of bread.

"Annie, there you are." She says in an accusing tone.

"I left a note Mom." I say and set the bucket of clean fish in front of her. "I wanted to get something fresh to eat for breakfast."

"Oh… alright I guess." She says.

"It will go good with the bread." My brother Chris says with a wide smile.

I roll my eyes. I know he is trying to stay positive for our Mother's sake, but let's be real no matter how hard he tries she won't feel happy until after the reaping. Both of her children will be free from the death arena.

"Give them here I'll fry them up in the skillet." My Father says. HIs hair is pulled back in a low pony tail. He is where I get my brown hair and fair skin. Both Chirrs and my Mother have the golden hair and tan skin.

"Okay." I say and hand them over to him.

I clean myself up while they prepare breakfast.

I wash away the smell of fish and blood on my hands. I put on a light blue sundress that I only wear for the reaping. I don't want a lot of clothing associated with this day.

When I head back out to the kitchen we all eat in relative silence. My brother tried to start conversations multiple times but nothing stuck. My Mother just keeps staring at my face as if it will be the last time she will see me. I would hate to think how she would be during a goodbye session if she acts like this when my name hasn't been called.

"All done, time to head to the square Annie." My Father says with a smile that doesn't meet his eyes.

I nod and grab some shoes.

"Good luck little sister." Chris says and pats the top of my head."

"Yeah luck." I say as I walk out the door.

I don't know if getting your name called would be lucky.

When I get to the square I head to the 18 year old girls section. There are so many of us. I find Luna and stand next to her.

"Think we will have a volunteer?" Luna asks.

"I dunno." I say.

"I always hope there's one." She says softly.

"Me too." I say. If there is a volunteer then I won't have to go in there. Besides, better for someone who is willing to die than an innocent person.

I look around and notice all the cameras that will be broadcasting this live to all of Panem. If you end up crying then people won't like you from the start.

Our Mayor steps out to introduce and introduces our Victors. Our victors go to the Capitol to help train the tributes before the start of the Hunger Games. I don't exactly know what the training entails but I assume it must help.

The mayor names the deceased victors first and then the live ones. We currently only have three. The mayor does it in the order they won.

First is an elderly woman named Mags. I don't know much about her and neither do most people. She lives alone in victors village and doesn't have any family left. I heard she married when she was young but he got sick and died. She must feel lonely in her big house.

Next is a muscly man named Oscar. He's in his mid thirties and has the strong build of a tree. He volunteered and likes to remind people he is a victor every chance he gets.

Last is the handsome lady killer Finnick Odair. He's only 19 years old. You would think he would be best known for being the youngest victor ever, winning at only 14, but that is not the case. He is more known for his good looks and relationships he has with woman. I must admit he is nice to look at with his strong build, golden hair, and glistening green eyes but there is something about his attitude that makes him off putting. He has the aura of being better than everyone else.

People clap and cheer after once the mayor is finished. Now it is time to introduce our escort, the person who is supposed to help guide our tributes while in the Capitol.

Libra Allis is our escort. It's a middle aged man with snow white hair, shiny black nails, unnaturally pale skin, and yellowish colored eyes. He reminds me more of a cartoon than a human.

Libra walks out onto the stage wearing leather pants, a shimmery white t-shirt, and tall black clogs.

"Hellooooo District 4." His voice chirps. He has a big smile plastered on his face. "And a Happy Hunger Games!"

"Happy Hunger Games." A few people say from the crowd.

Like I said, some people enjoy the Hunger Games.

"Now, shall we start?" He smiles. He looks like a cat when he does. "As always the ladies go first."

Luna reaches out for my hand which I take.

_It's a big District. _I think to myself.

His hand seems to take forever going into the shiny glass orb. He picks a piece of paper and lifts up the sticker.

He smiles when he sees the name.

"Annie Cresta!" He shouts.

_Shit._ I think to myself.

Luna lets go of my hand so I can walk to the stage.

_Someone might volunteer. _I think as I walk to the stage calmly. Everyone in Panem is watching this right now. _Stay calm Annie._

"Hello dearie." Libra says. He smells like cigarettes and something synthetic.

"Hi." I say into the microphone.

"How does it feel to be up here to represent your District?" He says with a smile.

_Terriffed… hoping someone will volunteer. _Is what I want to say.

"Honored." I say. I can tell it comes across as a lie.

"I bet it does, but before you can officially be our tribute we must ask." He says and then looks towards the crowd. "Are there any volunteers."

_Someone say something._ I think to myself.

"Anyone?" Libra says. He sounds as disappointed as I feel. Although I'm sure he isn't feeling terror.

"Okay then congratulants Annie Cresta. You are this years District 4 female tribute. May the odds be ever in your favor." He says and pulls me back so I am not standing in his way.

"Now time for the boys." He says with a smile.

_What the hell am I going to do now?_ I think to myself. I've attended the training school for a semester, but I'm not a skilled killer.

_If the arena is water based you might have a shot. _I think to myself.

"Shake hands." I hear and snap out of it.

I didn't hear his name but the boy across from me is probably sixteen or seventeen. I can tell from his body posture that he also didn't volunteer. He is shaking like a leaf and the smile doesn't meet his eyes.

"One more round of applause from the tributes of the 70th Hunger Games for Distirct 4."

While Libra escorts across the stage I catch a glimpse of all the victors, now my mentors, faces. Mags looks concerned. Oscar looks bored… almost disappointed. Finnick has a confused expression on his face.

_Great I've got a Capitol werido, elderly woman, someone who clearly wanted voltuneers, and a handom guy who looks confused. These are the people who are going to help keep me alive. _

I sigh deeply.

"Why me?" I whisper to myself as I am taken to the Justice Building.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two **

"Five minutes." A peacekeeper barks as they open the door.

I've got one hour to say farewell to all my family and friends who choose to visit. One hour to see the final looks on their faces.

I've been pacing the room. I don't want to sit down on one of the plush couches because I'm afraid I might cry.

I turn and see my brother.

"Don't worry Ann you'll be great in an aquatic arena." Chris says.

"I don't know about great but I would do better." I say.

He's right though. I have a better chance if the main element was water but I can't see that happening this year.

"See positive thinking." He says.

He is smiling but it doesn't meet his doesn't think I'll make it back and if I am being honest with myself I don't think it either.

"But Chris, they had a water based arena last year… they won't do the same thing in a row." I say somewhere between annoyed and afraid.

The winner wasn't from 4 though or even a career District. The winner was a guy from District 5. I don't know how many Districts know how to swim or are able to learn.

The water in the arena was filled with fish that had an appetite for human flesh. Disturbing animals made by the gamemakers for sure.

_I wonder what they'll put in my arena. _

"Don't think about it so much then. You went to the training school and can easily catch people with nets. You know how to swim and run quickly. You can make it Annie." He says.

I sigh

"I know." I say. I don't know if that is true or not. I can tell he doesn't believe it all the way and neither do I. I can't just lie down and die though. I can't just give up.

Chris hugs me.

"Besides, we have the youngest victor ever. I'm sure our mentors are excellent." He says.

The door opens and a peacekeeper drags him away.

Next my parents visit. My Mother is trying not to cry but I can see tear stains are already on her shirt.

My Mother sits next to me and holds me. She is rocking me back and forth.

"Come back to us Annie." She whispers.

"Good luck Annie." My Father says softly.

I expect advice or words of encouragement like Chris gave, but nothing comes. I guess they are afraid of losing their only daughter. It's been their greatest fear since I was a young child. It's why they forced me to go to the academy. It's why my Father made me swim laps and run five miles each day. It's why I know how to throw long range weapons.

The peacekeepers take them away too soon. I can hear my Mother sobbing outside the door. It's more clear when the door opens again.

"Rainn?" I say confused.

The tall tanned boy from my history class walks in. He has gleaming green eyes and golden hair like the sun. We've had classes together since we were kids. We've had brief conversations, but I don't know the guy. I don't even know his last name.

"Hi Annie." He says with a smile. He pulls me in for a hug.

_He smells like salt water. _I think to myself.

He lets go of me and smiles nervously.

"I had to say it incase you died." He says.

"Say what?" I ask confused.

"I like you Annie. I've liked you since 4th grade. I've just been too nervous to tell you, but I don't want you to die without knowing it." He says.

"I-" I start.

"You don't have to say anything and maybe this is selfish but I had to tell you." He says with a smile.

He kisses me on the cheek and leaves before his allotted time is up.

_Rainn Johnson likes me? _I think to myself.

He's either a very good secret keeper or I am very oblivious of how guys look at me. I've never really had a boyfriend. I've been on dates, but having a boyfriend has never been important to me. Maybe it is because I might die suddenly or maybe I'm just not that girl.

"Annie." I hear being pulled away from my thoughts.

I turn and see it is my best friend Luna.

She rushes over and hugs me tightly.

"I didn't ever think it would be you." She says softly.

"I know… I never thought it would be either." I say.

She lets go of me.

"Don't worry Annie, you know what to do. You also aren't squeamish around blood and guts."

"Those are smelly fish." I say.

"It's something. I know you doubt yourself sometimes Annie but you have a shot at this. You will win and maybe get to live next to Finnick Odair."

"Yeah every girls dream." I say sarcastically.

"A lot of girls anyway."

"You'll never guess who saw me before you." I say. I'm trying to sound excited and girly but my mind are on other things. However, this is probably the last time I will be able to have girl talk with my best friend.

"Who?" She asks.

"Rainn Johnson, he told me he liked me." I say.

Luna smiles.

"It's amazing what people will do when they think someone they love will die." She says.

"I guess." I say softly.

"Here." She says and takes something from her pocket. It's a pink and purple woven bracelet. "I want you to have this, for your token.".

"A friendship bracelet." I say.

"Yup, just think of home when you see it." She says and ties it on my wrist tightly.

"Okay." I say.

She smiles before walking out the door.

I sit in a chair until time is up. I didn't expect anyone else. I'm not the master of friends.

"Time's up." A peacekeeper says and drags me out of the room and into a car that will take us to the train station.

I look out the window rather than the other boys face.

"Don't worry dearies it will be just lovely in the Capitol." Libra, our escort, gushes.

He smells strange probably chemicals that make his skin so pale.

"I hope so." He says.

"Don't worry Daren, you will be treated like royalty. After all, this is probably the most exciting thing that will happen in your life." Libra says.

_So his name is Daren. _I think to myself. I didn't hear it at the reaping because I was lost in my own thoughts.

"Most exciting thing." I mumble to myself. I wouldn't consider going into a death arena the most exciting thing in my life. It will be the most dangerous, but not the most exciting.

We sit in silence for the rest of the car ride. I don't know what else to say and don't know how to talk to someone from the Capitol.

"Okay here we go dearies." Libra says as we step onto the train.

We walk through the train door and I see our mentors waiting for us. Finnick Odair is writing in a notebook. Mags gives us a warm smile and a small hello. Oscar is drinking something that is bright pink.

Finnick glances up from his notebook and follows my gaze.

"Oscar gets train sick, that disgusting looking drink helps." He says and goes back to writing.

"It is not disgusting Finnick." Oscar says offended.

"Don't fight in front of the tributes." Libra says annoyed.

"Yes Dad." Finnick mumbles under his breath.

"You all should sit." Mags says in a welcoming tone.

"Yes, please you should all get to know each other before dinner." Libra says and practically shoves us on one of the purple couches.

Finnick whispers something to Mags while scribbling in his notebook.

"I'm going to ask you a few questions that may come across as strange." Finnick says not looking up from his notebook.

_What the hell is he writing that is so important? _I think to myself.

"Okay." I say softly and Daren nods.

"Describe yourself in one word." Finnick's voice oozes confidence and something else that I can't pinpoint.

Neither of us respond.

He looks up for the first time we got on the train. His expression is hard and almost frightening. He doesn't look like the pretty womanizer I recognize. This is the same face he wore in the arena.

Finnick Odair had a swamp based arena. There were lots of vines that he used for trapping tributes. The water was murky from mud but he was still the best navigating through it. People underestimated him because he was young and worked the good looking angle very hard. People seemed to forget his high training score and where he was from.

His beauty was his greatest camouflage and once he got a beautiful trident from a sponsor it was all over in a matter of days.

"Don't think about it too much and don't lie either." He says looking only at me.

_What did I do? _I think to myself.

"Driven." My district partner says quickly.

He looked afraid on stage, maybe he is afraid of Finnick. Which I don't blame because if looks could kill we would both be dead.

He writes something down.

"What about you Annie?" Finnick asks.

"Ordinary." I say.

It's the first thing that came to mind and isn't a lie. I blend in with the crowd instead of standing out. I like it better that way, but I can't do that in the Capitol. I have to stand out to be remembered.

A half smile forms on his face.

"Good we can have you use the diamond in the rough angle and Daren-"

"Diamond in the rough?" I say confused.

"It means-"

"I know what it means." I say.

Finnick huffs.

"Just ignore Finnick. I know I do." Oscar says.

Finnick rolls his eyes.

A train attendant comes out and whispers something in Libra's ear.

"Dinner is ready!" He shouts as if we were all hard of hearing.

They all stand up and we head to another train car. This one is filled with a table that could be a mile long. It is covered with a perfect white tablecloth and multiple food items. Some of the food doesn't look familiar, The giant crystal chandelier hanging above the table is moving back and forth slightly from the speed of the train.

"Make sure to eat up." Libra says as I sit down,

The dishes are passed and I take only fish dishes and rolls. I don't want to try something that will upset my stomach.

Finnick is sitting across from myself and Daren. It's like he is studying us or waiting for something to happen. He's so intense that I'm starting to wonder how anyone can find this guy attractive.

"Can you two do anything special?" Oscar asks.

"Annie described herself as ordinary so I doubt it." Daren says.

"I did go to the training school for a bit and found I do well with throwing knives." I mutter.

"Throw this then." Oscar says and hands me a sharp steak knife.

"No, throwing dishes Oscar I don't know why I have to tell you this each year!" Libra shouts.

"Fine she can just show us in the Capitol then." Oscar says annoyed and takes a big mouthful of potatoes.

"What about you Daren?" Finnick asks this time.

"I went to the training school each year. I am a master of weaponry and tracking people down. I will like the adrenaline rush of being in the arena." Daren says. His voice is shaky though like he is afraid.

"You didn't volunteer though." Oscar says. He sounds more cheerful.

_He did want volunteers. _I think to myself.

"How could I when my name was called, besides I was waiting until I turned 18 for that to happen." He says and smiles awkwardly.

"I don't like liars." I hear Finnick mumble just loud enough for us to hear.

Daren could just be nervous talking to Finnick, or he could be lying about how good he actually is. Daren could just be saying what he thinks the mentors want to hear.

"Time for you to see your rooms." Libra says after dinner.

He drags Daren and I through a hallway and stops suddenly.

"This one is yours Annie." He says with a smile.

I stare up at the ceiling counting the tiles. I can't fall asleep. I'm too worried about tomorrow.

When I'm at home and can't sleep I usually take a walk. I'm not familiar with this train, but it's better than nothing.

I exit my room and walk down the hall. I'm a little turned around but if I keep walking in a straight line I shouldn't be able to get too lost.

I get into the train cart that is the common room. I see someone else is here too.

They turn and I see it is Finnick. I go and sit next to him. He's still writing in that damn notebook.

"You should go to sleep, we'll be in the Capitol by morning." He says not bothering to look up.

"What do you keep writing in that notebook?" I ask. I try to catch a glimpse but he pulls it closer to his chest.

"Strategies." He says.

"You don't even know what I'm good at."

"I don't need to. I'm working on the strategy of your image."

"Image?" I ask.

"Yes, and your being ordinary isn't the best start." He says.

"What happened to the diamond in the rough angle?" I asked.

"You said that wouldn't work for you." He says.

"So you care what I think?" I ask.

He looks up and smiles. His face is much softer than before.

"Yes. I care what my tributes think and want. Besides, I like you because you are honest."

"What does honesty have to do with this?" I ask confused.

He smiles again.

"Most people aren't as honest. I'm good at reading people which is why I think Daren is exaggerating how good he is at everything. I am sure this has crossed your mind as well."

I nod and Finnick smiles.

"Some tributes say what they think I, or the others want to hear. In the end they're really shooting themselves in the foot. We can't help you if you lie about your personality. Besides, you calling yourself ordinary gives me an idea of what you probably do back home."

"Excuse me?" I say a little offended

"I'm not trying to offended you Annie but If you're as ordinary as you say you are, you probably live in the fishing part of the district. You also do well with your studies and other various activities. However, you aren't incredibly talented to be considered the best at it."

I sigh.

"I thought working on our image was for the interview with Caesar."

"You'll be seen by thousands of people before that night. Besides, this gives you a chance to earn sponsors early. Also, I have some _friends_ who are always interested in my tributes." He says with a smile.

The way he says friends gives me a cringey feeling. I'm guessing they are all women he likes to see while in the Capitol. He doesn't seem very picky when dealing with women, he just wants them for a night. He never sees the same girl twice which is why I don't get why people find him so desirable.

I roll my eyes.

"You should go to sleep." He says again.

I sigh and don't fight him.

_I wonder if he ever puts that notebook down. _I think to myself.

I head to my room and fall on the bed.

_I wonder what the Capitol is like. _I've seen it on television and I've been with Libra for the day, but I don't actually know what it's like to be there with all those people.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three **

"Breakfast time." Libra says while knocking on the door loudly.

I didn't find much sleep after my discussion with Finnick. I don't think I will find much sleep within the coming weeks. Which is terrible because sleep is the one thing I need now. I can't go into the arena exhausted.

I take a shower and pull on the first pieces of clothing that touch my hands. It's a soft light blue t-shirt and dark denim jeans.

I run my fingers over the friendship bracelet Luna gave me. If I was at home right now I would be leaving the docks and heading to school. Today is Monday so there's sailing lessons today. I would be learning how to make knots and watch the tides. I always liked that class because we got to be outside. I wish I was there instead of on a train to the Capitol.

I put my hair in a messy top knot before leaving the room.

"Thank you for finally joining us Annie." Libra says annoyed.

"I wasn't gone that long." I say.

Libra signs and crosses his arms. I notice he painted his nails a bright red color. The contrast from his chemically pale skin makes it look like blood.

"It doesn't matter we need to talk about what will happen once we are in the Capitol." Mags says. She motions for me to sit next to her which I do.

"Once we arrive in the Capitol you will be taken to be made up for the tribute parade. Then you will be taken to the training center. You will stay there until the start of the games." Libra says.

The train goes through a tunnel where the lights are dim. When we exit the tunnel I can see the Capitol skyline.

I find myself walking towards the windows to get a better look. So many tall and shiny buildings. It's nothing like I've seen in District 4. I don't think there is anything else like it in Panem.

I feel a tap on my shoulder and turn.

"Don't get distracted by the views the Capitol has to offer. Once you get caught up in the materialistic views it's hard to find your way out." Finnick says.

It sounds like he is speaking from experience. I guess being exposed to the luxuries of the Capitol since you were at fourteen could change your perception.

"I've never seen anything like it." I say.

"Well you won't find any ocean within the city limits." He says.

I nod.

"We're almost there." He says and looks me up and down. "You should change." He says.

"What's wrong with my outfit? These are clothes from the Capitol." I say confused.

"It's too ordinary." He says."Wait don't change wear exactly that."

I roll my eyes.

"Is this for my image?" I ask.

"Yes." He says with a smile and walks away.

I look at the skyline once more before the train comes to a stop.

* * *

"You have wonderful cheekbones." A woman say and runs her fingers over my cheeks.

She's part of my prep team. She has pink cotton candy hair and pale pink skin. Her eyes are an unnatural shade of blue and her fingers have flowers painted on them. If I'm honest she's not ugly. She told me her name was Penny.

I also have a man with dark skin and a shiny bald head. He has tribal looking tattoos that start on his head and go down his neck. He said his name was Cedar.

The other person on my team is my stylist. I've seen his creations on television for years. He likes doing sailors, mermaids, and shipwrecked sailors, but he does change it up every once in awhile. Last year he made the tributes look like starfish. His costumes aren't as bad as others. District 12 tributes are usually only splashed with some coal dust and 7 has been dressed as trees for decades.

"We're going to have a field day with you." Cedar says with a devilish smile.

"First things first though, you need to disrobe." Penny says in a sing song tone.

"In front of you?" I ask confused.

"We need to make sure you have no imperfections." Cedar says.

_What the hell does that mean? _I think to myself.

I get undressed and they lead me to a bath where they scrub me with different types of soap and lotion.

"Here take this." Penny says and hands me a robe. She helps me out of the now cold bath water.

My skin is cleaner and softer than it ever has been before.

Penny starts to trim my split ends while Cedar is filing my nails or what is left of them. I have chewed them down to the nub. I chew my nails frequently back home so they are already short. So being sent to the Hunger Games only made it worse.

He lifts my hand up delicately.

"Do you think she needs fake ones?" He asks.

"You shouldn't bite your nails Annie.' Penny scolds. 'We'll let Zen decide."

"That's my stylist?" I ask.

"Yes." Cedar says with a smile.

"He's been doing this for a long time so you don't need to worry." Penny says.

"So will I be a starfish like the tributes last year?" I ask.

Penny shakes her head.

"He didn't get as much attention as he wanted so he's going with a oldie but a goodie." Penny says.

"Sailor?" I ask.

"A shipwrecked one." Cedar says annoyed.

I can tell he disapproves of this outfit choice.

I don't ask any more questions I just watch them work on my hair, face, eyebrows, and nails.

By the time I am finished I look dirty. I don't see the point in why they made me bathe so much if they were just going to make me look dirty.

My hair is flying in different directions and has leaves and twigs stuck in it. They put some type of product in my hair so it will look wet. Despite that I'm supposed to be looking like a shipwrecked sailor I have perfectly polished nails and no wounds.

"There you look good enough for Zen now." Penny says with a smile.

"We'll go and fetch him for you." Cedar says as they both leave.

It seems like forever before the door opens.

"Hello Miss Annie." Zen says with a kind smile.

He's younger than I expected. He's tall and lanky. He has white hair like Libra but it is pulled back in a braid. Unlike Libra, Zen doesn't look sickly pale. Zen has sun kissed skin like the people back home. Zen's eyebrows are plucked so that he looks surprised. He is also wearing too much silver eyeshadow.

He starts walking around in a circle studying me. It makes me feel nervous, like I am his prey.

"Good Penny and Cedar did an excellent job." He says.

I nod not knowing what else to say.

"I have your outfit ready but you should eat something first. Last year the girl fainted from dehydration." He says annoyed.

He presses a button on the wall and a table of food appears.

"Stay standing and don't mess up your makeup. I will fetch your outfit while you eat." He says and leaves.

I take a look at the food. I am hungry and don't want to pass out like the girl from last year. I get the feeling she didn't pass out from just dehydration. She was the first career to die. Some people think she got killed on purpose. She was a good tracker and would've noticed the boy from 5 lurking in the shadows.

I pour myself something that looks like ice tea and eat one of the sandwiches. The flavor is different than what I am used to. I know it is from a cow. I don't eat a lot of beef back home. It's more expensive than fish or chicken.

I hear the door open but don't turn.

"I see you're a fan of roast beef." Zen says.

"I guess." I say.

"Put that down and come here." He says and I do. "Take off your robe and put it on." He says and hands me the outfit bag.

It's not what I expected. I've seen the costume before but it somehow looks different. It's a short dress that resembles a sailor outfit. It'a short long sleeve blue dress with red trim. There is also a white collar that has a bow in the middle. The dress also comes with a sailor hat. The outfit would look nice if the white collar and hat weren't stained and the rips on the sides of my dress weren't there.

"To complete the look." He smiles and takes out a pair of dirty white shoes.

I take them and put them on.

"Do they fit, I'm terrible at guessing shoe sizes."

"They're fine." I say.

They are a little uncomfortable but I will only be wearing them for a few hours.

"Good." He smiles. "I can take you to your mentors now." He says and places the sailor hat delicately on my head.

He takes my wrist and leads me down many hallways. This place is like a maze. I wouldn't be able to escape this place if I tried.

He opens a large door that leads us outside. I can hear the cheers and see the chariots waiting for the tributes.

I am guided to the area that has a large four near it.

The sound of the cheers makes me nervous. I was already nervous but knowing all those cheering people will be seeing my face makes me want to puke.

"Stay calm horses can smell fear." I hear a voice say behind me.

I turn and see Finnick.

"I'll try to keep that in mind." I say slightly annoyed.

Finnick takes my hand and spins me around slowly.

"Zen picked a good outfit this year." He says more to himself.

"Why isn't Oscar here?" I ask noticing it is only Mags, Daren, and the prep teams.

"He has other things to worry about." Finnick says vaguely.

He walks away and drags Daren over to the chariot.

I look around to see my fellow opponents.

The tributes from 1 and 2 are looking at everyone like prey. The boy from 1 smiles at me.

_He'll be your ally. _I think to myself.

I manage to smile back at him.

I can't tell what he is supposed to be dressed as but don't really care either. The job to make "friends" comes tomorrow.

_Tributes mount up. Tributes mount up. _A voice shouts from a loudspeaker.

Zen helps me up and Daren stands next to me. His outfit is similar to mine but he has ripped khaki pants instead of a ripped dress.

"When you two are up there try to smile." Finnick says and walks away.

"I'm not smiling." Daren says.

"Why not?" I ask genuinely curious.

"It will make us look weak." He says.

I don't respond. I don't think I can pull off an intimidating face so I will smile and wave like Finnick wants.

The chariots start to move out to City Circle.

The crowd is a blur of colors. I smile and wave and see my face on the television screens but don't know if these people like me.

_I wonder what they are doing back home?_ I think to myself as the chariot comes to a stop.

I look up at the balcony where the President will come out and make his speech. Another humiliating act of the Hunger Games. He thanks the Districts and the tributes about how much of an honor it is to be a part of this celebration.

President Snow walks out and the cheers get louder. President Snow is a tall skinny man. He doesn't look like he could win in a physical fight but I bet his bodyguards would never let you close enough to try. However he does have an aura that makes him dangerous.

"I would like to thank the Districts for providing us with the tributes for this years celebration. I wish luck to all you lucky tributes and a Happy Hunger Games." He says.

The crowd claps and trumpets start to play singling it's time for us to leave City Circle.

"That was wonderful." Libra says with a big smile.

Zen helps me down and Daren's stylist helps him.

"You didn't smile." Finnick says to Daren.

We are being ushered somewhere by Libra.

"Didn't want to look weak." He says.

"Looking nice can help too." Finnick says.

"We can discuss the parade later, right now we need to get them to our living corridors." Libra says and presses a button.

A pair of silver doors open.

Libra grabs Daren and myself and presses the 4 button.

"The apartment floor is the same as your District. They want to make it easy for you to remember." Libra says with a smile.

The walls of this… room are made of glass. I can see the whole lobby and every floor.

"What is this?" I ask as it starts to move.

"Oh right you don't have elevators in District 4." Libra says.

The doors close and the elevator shoots up quickly until we reach the fourth floor.

I get a head rush from how fast it was.

"Don't be so dramatic Annie." Libra says slightly annoyed.

When we exit the elevator I see a spacious open room. It is filled with a large television and multiple couches with many pillows. There is a kitchen off to the left where I can smell dinner being made. The table could easily fit 20 people.

In the corner of the room I see a woman wearing a loose white dress. She has pale skin, so pale that it makes me think she never leaves. Her hair is brown and messy.

"That's our Avox. She will take care of your every need." Libra says casually.

I've heard of them before. Avox's are people who have done treacherous crimes against the Capitol. I don't know how harsh the crimes need to be, I just know that they get their tongue cut out.

I wonder how much this woman has seen and how much she is unable to say. I jump when the elevator door closes.

"I'll show you to your rooms so you can get cleaned up before dinner." Libra says and takes us down a hallway.

"This one is yours." Libra says to me.

He didn't need to tell me this because there is a golden name plate that says my name.

I walk inside and see there is a large glass window that shows the view of the Capitol. I walk over to it. I'm about to put my hand on the glass when something appears in front of me.

It reads background setting. I go through the options and the window can change. I see a beach, woods, a meadow of flowers, and other options. I turn the thing off so I can see the skyline instead. I don't want that thing to remind me of home. I need to remember where I am and why I'm here.

I take off my clothes and turn on the shower. It has multiple buttons instead of just a simple bar of soap. I don't know what to press so I just pick one.

I end up getting sprayed with a yellow foam and lukewarm water. I don't really mind because it is getting the layers of makeup off.

After I finish I pick clothes from the dresser. I grab an oversized t-shirt and blue shorts. I put my hair up in a low ponytail like I always do after a shower.

I don't know if I should go back out to the main room so I just sit on my bed and stare out the window.

I don't know how long I've been sitting here when I hear a soft tap on my door and someone telling me dinner is ready.

I walk out and see the table is full with everyone.

This is the first I've seen of Oscar in the Capitol and he is smiling and laughing at something. I wonder what he was doing while we were at the parade.

I take the seat next to Daren.

"Looks good doesn't it?" Libra asks the room.

"The food is always excellent here." Oscar says.

"What is it?" I ask as the avox is serving our plates.

"It's duck. Don't worry it tastes like chicken." Mags says.

The duck is good. It's covered in a nice orange sauce. It does taste a little like chicken, but is greasier. It's like my Father says, fat makes everything taste better. There is also asparagus and small potatoes with the meal.

"No thank you." I say to the avox as she tries to serve me wine.

I don't particularly like alcohol. Besides, staying sober is the best thing for me now.

"You two looked marvelous during the parade. I think people will be talking about you." Libra says.

"I hope that is the case, it didn't pan out like that last year." Zen says.

"Do you think anyone will remember us. I mean for potential sponsors." I ask. I've been worried about gaining sponsors since we got here. I don't exactly know how to gain sponsors.

"Don't worry. I'll be asking around tonight." Finnick says and takes a bite of potatoes.

I get the feeling I don't know want to know who he is talking to. Finnick seems nice enough, but his reputation didn't just come out of thin air.

"Training day number one is tomorrow." Oscar says abruptly.

"What should we do?" Daren asks.

"Show them everything you got. You need to prove to 1 and 2 that you are worthy of being allies." Oscar says.

"What about the element of surprise?" He asks.

"Neither of you volunteered, you need to prove you can keep up with them." Finnick says.

"Although keeping one thing to yourself should be fine." Mags says.

"Remember what they say keep your friends close and your enemies closer." Oscar says.

"I have a question." Daren says.

"Go on." Oscar says.

He glances at me.

"Are Annie and I going to be trained together?" He asks.

This catches me off guard. I thought the tributes from 4 always trained together. It never even crossed my mind to ask if I could be trained alone.

"Only if you want to, but since you will be working together we recommend-" Finnick starts but is cut off.

"I don't mean to offend you Annie, but I don't want you to know everything about me. We both can't make it out alive and I want to keep some things to myself." Daren says.

"Do you want to work together at all?" Oscar asks.

"Yes, but I don't want her to know everything about me." He says.

"Alright we can mentor each of you individually for a few hours a day." Finnick says.

"Okay." I say softly.

I don't blame Daren after all only one of us can make it out alive.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

"Welcome tributes to your first day of training. My name is Aria and I will be one of your instructors." A woman in her mid thirties say. She has dark skin and eyes that are pitch black.

According to Libra she will be the one to explain everything about training to us.

I look around the room at all my opponents. I don't need to read the number on the outfits from 1 and 2 to point them out. The strong build and gleeful looks on their faces makes it painfully obvious.

"You all have seen glimpses of training through your television screens but now you get to experience it yourself. These training days are meant to help you in the arena and show your skills to the gamemakers." She says and motions to a small group of people sitting in a loft above the gymnasium.

They don't seem too interested at the moment.

"On the final day of training you will have a private assessment with the gamemakers. They will give you a score that will reflect the likelihood of your survival. What happens in those sessions will be kept confidential between the gamemakers and your team."

I wouldn't say the score predicts our likelihood of survival. The gamemakers and Capitol citizens have predetermined favorites before the scores are shown.

"Now I know it may seem important to learn how to wield a knife or fight but the truth is most of you will die of natural causes. Dehydration, infection, and starvation are a possibility. It is best to try your hand at every station. The only rule during training is you cannot fight with your fellow tributes. If you try, there will be punishments." She says. Her eyes linger on the tributes from 2.

"You are now free to begin your training." She says with a smile and walks away.

"What do you want to do?" I ask Daren softly.

We haven't talked to each other since breakfast. They wanted us to do our separate training a few hours before training started.

I only talked with Mags and Finnick. Oscar said he didn't know how to teach someone like me.

They basically told me the same thing they did last night, that I need to show off my skills to prove I'm worthy. They didn't say if I should stick with Daren or try speaking with the careers by myself.

"Let's work by ourselves today. We can regroup back at the apartment." Daren says. He sounds almost annoyed.

I go to the knife throwing station where the tributes from 1 are.

"Hi." I say to them.

The boy looks me up and down.

"4." He says. It sounds like a question.

It's easy to identify that he is from 1 because it is embroidered on his shirt. He has a tight grey t-shirt that show off his muscles. He is also wearing reddish shorts. His District partner is dressed similarly, her colors are just reversed. She has a red top and grey shorts.

Our stylists get to make our training outfits. I got a light blue oversized tank top, white training bra, black gym shorts, and white sneakers. There is a large white 4 embroidered on the back. Zen said the only rule for training outfits is that our District number has to be somewhere visible.

The prep team also did my hair which I think is unnecessary since we are just going to the gym. We are being recorded and broadcasted to Panem so I guess it makes sense, but it is still a little silly to put on makeup just to work out.

"Yes I-"

"Show me." He says and puts a knife in my hand.

"We have 15, 20, 50, 75 and 100 yard dummies for you to throw at." The instructor says. He takes the knife from my hand.

"While you picked a good knife for yourself I would suggested these type of throwing knives for the lady. They're better for smaller hands." The instructor says to the guy from 1. I wish I remembered his name.

The instructor takes the knife that was in my hand and gives me the one he think will be better.

"Aim for the 100." The tribute from 1 says.

_Right I have to prove myself. _I think to myself.

It would be easier if they weren't watching over my shoulder.

I take a deep breath and throw it. I hit the dummy but it just grazes it's face and then falls to the floor.

He rolls his eyes and moves on. The female tribute stays though.

These knives are different than what I'm used to. It also isn't helping that I'm nervous. Although being in a death arena will be worse.

After a couple of throws I'm able to hit all the targets.

"We have a more advanced section where the dummies can move." The instructor says and drags me over.

I notice the girl from 1 is following me.

At least I caught the interest of one career.

"Press the button when you're ready." The instructor says and motions to a small red button.

I do and complete the mission task. The score it gives me is a 90% accurate hit rate. It's not perfect, but it's not bad either. I'm sure if I practice more I could improve.

"Looks like you're actually good at something." The girl from 1 smiles.

"Yeah, the knives was just different than I'm used to." I say. 2

"My name Jewel." She holds out her hand which I take.

Her grip is firm and her hands have calluses. I'm assuming from practicing so much.

"Annie." I say.

"I know." She says with a smile. She has sparkly white teeth with golden hair. Her skin is fair and she has blue eyes that sparkle like the ocean.

"So District 4 can you show me how to make some fancy knots?" She asks with a smile.

I'm surprised by her request because people from other Districts don't really care about learning how to use rope properly.

"Only if you teach me some good hand to hand combat moves." I say.

She smiles. She likes this request.

I was always bad at hand to hand combat at the training academy. People would chose to fight me because they knew they could beat me.

"Deal." She says.

We head to the rope tying station first. There is an instructor teaching basic knots that I learned when I was a child. However, I know Jewel will want something more than a release knot or traps.

The female from 7 is here as well. I think her name is Willow. She looks a few years younger than me. She has tanned skin and dark hair in a pixie cut.

_Keep one thing to yourself. _I think remembering what Mags said. When I pick up the rope.

_Don't show her how to make a noose. _

She probably wouldn't get it right the first time or at all. You have to tie it a specific way so it will be able to trap and kill someone. Too loose and it won't be tight enough to strangle or stay together.

I show her how to make basic traps. Get a tribute to hang upside down if they step on it. A monkey's fist which we use for holding anchors down but it can be used as a weapon or slungshot as well.

I notice the girl from 7 has stopped looking at the instructor and is keeping her eyes on me.

"Give the rope more slack." I say as Jewel messes up again.

"What can you tell me about your District partner?" She asks and puts the rope down.

"Not much I've never met him before this. He claims he is good at everything though." I say.

_I hope I'm not selling him out._

"Are either of you good at survival skills?" She asks.

"With water based stuff." I say confused.

"Hey-" I start but am cut off.

"The rest of us are already good at weapons. You're good with knives but it would be best if you knew other stuff. For insurance purposes." She says with a wicked smile.

I didn't need her to tell me Daren and I were on the bottom of the career pack. It was already obvious. Besides, 4 usually is.

I would kill all of them in their sleep if I thought that was the best strategy. I would be seen as a coward, but I'd rather be alive and a coward.

"You get what I'm saying, right?" She asks.

"I understand." I say.

"Good." She smiles and takes my wrist. "I can't technically fight you because it is against the rules but I can help you on your stance and style." She says.

She shows me some stuff. I notice the guards are keeping their eyes glued to us. They probably want to make sure we don't start a brawl. This girl is a better fighter and probably stronger but I'm taller than her and older.

A bell goes off signaling lunch.

"Sit with the rest of us." She says with a smile and leads me over to the other careers.

Daren sits far away from me and close to the tributes from 2.

I sit down and am sandwiched between the tributes from 1. The male from 2 is across from me. The stylists from 2 embroidered their names along with their District number on the shirts. His name is Onyx. Onyx has jet black hair and pale skin. He is built like a tree and could probably crush my skull to pieces if he wanted to.

"Annie." Onyx says with a smile. It doesn't seem like a friendly one.

Onyx either has a good memory or Daren has been talking about me. I don't know which is worse. I don't want Daren to be bad mouthing me to the other side of the career pack.

"Onyx." I say politely.

"Yeah, I hate that our stylists put our name on our outfits." He says and takes a bite of his sandwich.

"That's Miracle." Jewel whispers referring to her District partner. "He volunteered to be in here with me. He thinks I need protection or something." She rolls her eyes. "I can take care of myself." She moves in closer. "I just don't want to kill him. I care about him." She whispers.

I nod.

After lunch I try to spend more time with the tributes from 2 but it is to no avail. I don't know if Daren told them something about me or if they just don't like me. Either way I don't like it, especially, since Onyx keeps looking at me like a piece of meat.

A horn goes off signaling the end of the day. We are lead out of the gymnasium to find a line of escorts waiting to take us back to our apartments.

"Hello, dearies I can't wait to hear about your training events today." Libra says and leads us to the elevators.

The tributes and escort from 3 share an elevator with us. The female from 3 is a young girl who looks ten. It looks like she is trying not to cry. I can't imagine being a 12 years old and in this situation. I'm 18 and I don't know how to deal with everything. It's all day to day and I think it will be that way until I am either dead or outside the arena.

I'm relieved when the people from 3 get off. It is only a few seconds later until the doors open again.

"Alright here we are home once again." Libra says with a smile.

"I wouldn't call it that." Daren mumbles.

"I'll let you two get cleaned up before dinner." Libra says.

"Annie." I hear as I'm about to go to the living corridors.

"Yeah?" I ask Libra.

"You get your alone time with the mentors first this evening." He says with a smile and then walks away.

I take a shower and change quickly. Libra didn't say when my alone time was but I get the feeling it will be before dinner.

When I walk back out I see Finnick writing in the same notebook he had on the train. I sit next to him on the couch and he doesn't even look up.

"How did training go?" He asks me.

"I think the tributes from 1 like me… or at least the girl." I say.

"That's good… you should try for the boy tomorrow." Finnick says.

I nod.

"I think the tributes from 1 have some type of bond though. The girl thinks the boy volunteered to go in with her."

"It's a possibility that would make them even more dangerous then." He says.

"More dangerous how?" I ask.

Finnick puts the notebook down on the glass coffee table.

"Careers spout the nonsense of District pride, but in the end they'll have no trouble killing off their partner the second they get in the way. However these 2 won't do that, they will stick together even if the other becomes dead weight."

"Why would you want to face off in the final 2 with someone you care about." I say more to myself than Finnick.

"They could think of it as the ultimate competition and whoever wins gets the utmost respect in their eyes."

"But you'd be killing your friend… I don't think I could even kill Daren." I say.

"Your will to stay alive will be stronger than any relationship ties." He says and sighs deeply. "I will admit it is easier to kill a stranger than a friend." Finnick says.

"Did you kill your District partner?" I ask softly.

"She got caught in one of my traps… and I let the mutts get her. In hindsight a trident to the chest would've been quicker." He says. He isn't looking at me any longer.

He clears his throat.

"Anything from the tributes from 2?" He asks.

"I don't think they like me at all and I can't figure out if Daren said something or if... " I trail off not knowing how to phrase the question.

"Don't second guess your District partner this early Annie. Once you get in the arena you can do that." Finnick says.

"But I don't want to work with someone I can't trust." I say.

"You can't trust anyone here Annie." Finnick says.

"Does that include my mentors? I only ask because it seems like Oscar is playing favorites."

Finnick sighs.

"He doesn't like… tributes who don't volunteer." Finnick says carefully.

"He thinks I won't make it?" I ask.

"He also doesn't like mentoring the girls." Finnick says.

"Great… so I guess he won't be part of my alone sessions." I say.

"You don't need him, myself and Mags are enough." Finnick says seriously.

"Did Oscar tell Daren to ignore me or try to turn me away from the tributes from 2?" I ask.

"I'm not allowed to discuss what happens with your alone sessions with the mentors." Finnick says.

I sigh.

"However, if that did happen I would advise him against it… but Daren is the person who makes the ultimate choice. Mentors are just guides, you don't have to listen to us and sometimes our advice could be wrong… in the end it's all on you." Finnick says.

"I see." I say.

"Dinners ready!" Libra shouts.

I can't tell if Libra likes bossing us around or if it just comes with the job description.

"Let's go I heard we're having stuffed crabs tonight." Finnick says and stands up.

He's right it's stuffed crabs for dinner but there is also pork. The sides are rolls, corn on the cob, mashed potatoes, and asparagus. I find it interesting that the Capitol is able to accommodate ingredients from so many Districts. It's not like this at home.

"I can't wait any longer, tell me everything about training!" Libra says before anyone can take a bite.

"Annie got along with the tributes from 1." Daren says.

"And Daren got along with the tributes from 2." I add. His comment somehow annoys me.

"I don't know how you can get along with those two. They seem so shallow." He says referring to the tributes from 1.

I shrug.

"Jewel seems nice enough, she was willing to show me some hand to hand combat skills." I say.

"In exchange for rope tying. I saw you two at the rope station." Daren says annoyed.

"As long as they are talking it's a good plan. Besides, this might get her to trust you more Annie." Oscar says.

"Well, Onyx was making a list of people to kill." Daren says.

"Onyx?" Finnick asks.

"The boy from 2." I say.

"You don't need to worry Annie I convinced him that you were worth something." Daren says.

"Jewel thought fighting wasn't good enough for us to get in good with them. She said we needed to offer something else." I say.

I'm not going to tell him that she was very interested in survival skills. If I'm supposed to keep things to myself than this seems like one of them. Besides, if Daren is in good with 2 he has probably earned his spot with the others.

"That's why you did the rope making." Finnick says.

"Yes." I say. It isn't a complete lie.

"Well, it sounds like you both made some progress. Annie gets us alone first after dinner." Oscar says.

This surprises me because I have only seen Oscar during meals this whole trip.

"Right." Finnick says.

An avox comes to the table holding a silver plate. She goes over to Finnick and he takes the envelope that was on it.

"Everything alright?" Mags asks.

"Yeah, I just have to go." Finnick says and stands up. "Oscar and Mags can take care of both of you." Finnick says but he is only looking at me.

"Where's he going?" Daren asks as Finnick walks away.

"He's probably visiting a sponsor don't worry about it dearies." Libra says and takes a sip of wine.

I get the feeling he is lying.

"He's probably going to see some girl." Daren says annoyed and stands up.

"You two can meet me in my room when you're done with Annie." Daren says and walks off.

"Such terrible manners." Libra mutters under his breath.

"So Annie, anything you didn't share during dinner?" Oscar asks.

"Jewel I mean the female from 1 was interested in if we knew survival skills." I say.

"Maybe it's a plant based arena." Oscar says.

"How would they know what the arena is?" I ask.

"If you talk to the right people someone will talk. There is also blackmail." Oscar says.

"But that's not fair." I say.

"Sweetie look around, you're entire situation is unfair." Oscar says.

"Finnick sometimes finds something out." Mags says.

"We can't tell you even if we did find out. Your reactions need to be genuine." Oscar says.

"It's probably just want their mentors want." Mags says. She gives Daren a look that says you're talking crazy.

"Is there anything else you wish to discuss?" Mags asks.

"How do I get in with 2 if they don't want to talk with me?" I ask.

"They could be interested in survival skills as well. Annie do you know any survival skills?" Oscar asks.

"Not really. I know how to survive a riptide and some District 4 plants." I say.

"Go to the survival skills and stay there all morning." Oscar says.

"And try to strengthen your relationship with District 1. They have pull with District 2." Mags says.

"Okay." I say.

I don't really have anything else to say so I excuse myself and head to my room.

I sit on the bed and look out the giant glass window. The lights are bright and their are people everywhere.

I stand up when I see something I didn't notice before.

It's a giant countdown clock, that is counting down to the second when the Hunger Games will start.

This really is just a celebratory holiday to these people and the main event is to watch children slaughter each other.

I press a button that closes the drapes I don't need a constant reminder of the exact second I will be in the arena.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

I hear a melody of chimes go off signaling it is time for me to get up. I didn't need to hear this melody, I couldn't fall asleep last night. I just kept staring at the countdown clock in the square.

I sit up woodenly and grab the robe hanging off the dresser. I don't head for the shower I head for the sliding glass door. I know I won't be able to jump off the building and I don't want to try either. The image of me hitting the pavement with a pool of blood around me doesn't sit well. I guess it doesn't matter now. I could end up falling down a cliff or off a mountain in the arena. I guess I shouldn't think of how I will die. I know there is a good chance that I won't be an old lady warm in her bed.

Once I step outside the patio I can hear bustling citizens on the sidewalk and some are cheering. The countdown clock in the square seems bigger just by standing outside. The Capitol really is different from home. I can't see a body of water from this view. I see many buildings made from metal and stone rather than the sturdy wood back home. There are billboards showing off multiple products to purchase. There is one that has a big list of things sponsors can buy for the games and next to it is a billboard flashing the tributes faces during the parade. I wonder if the Capitol citizens can tell most of the smiles are fake. Almost none of them meet their eyes, including mine.

I go back into my room. I don't want to look at the lives of Capitol citizens any longer. I don't want to wonder about their daily regime. I don't want to wonder about their inner workings. I just need to worry about surviving.

"Time to get up darlings." I hear Libra shout down the hall. I'm surprised I can hear him, but then again he has a shrill voice. I don't bother brushing my hair. I will do that after breakfast.

"Oh Miss. Annie you look terrible." Libra says as soon as I sit down.

"I couldn't sleep." I say softly. I don't think any sane person would be able to.

I survey the room. Mags is eating scrambled eggs and has red reading glasses on. Oscar is looking at the breakfast bar with disgust. Zen is stirring a cup of coffee. Zen is looking at me questionably. Finnick is writing in his notebook again, but is also looking down at the paper.

I wonder what he is writing about today. He can't have this many strategy tips for us. He still doesn't know much about myself or Daren. He can make up a fake angle all he wants, but there needs to be some type of truth behind it.

"So what should I do today?" I ask aloud.

"Keep building your relationship with 1 & 2." Oscar says. He sounds bored.

"I knew that already." I mumble.

Oscar sighs.

"Maybe make nice with some of the others so it will be harder for them to kill you." Mags says.

"She can't be friends with everyone." Oscar says.

I wait for Finnick to say something but he doesn't. He just keeps looking at the paper.

"Has the weather of all the Districts." I hear him mumble.

I don't know why the weather would be so important.

"An article about snow."

"The president?" Zen asks.

"The weather." Finnick says.

"It doesn't snow here." Oscar reports.

"There won't be a snowy tundra this year, the paper is making the subject of snow too flashy." Finnick says.

"It probably won't be water based either." I say softly. It was a water based arena last year. From my memory they have never had similar back to back arenas. It could be a snowy tundra one year and the next a tropical island. It probably takes longer than a year to construct an arena so the planning must be very meticulous.

Finnick forms a half smile.

"Probably." He says.

Daren comes out with a wet head.

"Annie." He says and sits next to me.

"He looks like he slept well." Oscar says with a smile.

_No he doesn't._ I think to myself.

Daren has a strange eyebrow twitch. I think Oscar forgets that Daren didn't volunteer. He can pull off the attitude of a career, but it seems he can only do it when they are around.

Once Daren and I are given breakfast the table is mostly silent. Daren asks a few questions and then it is nothing. I can't tell if it is because he wants to save it for alone training or if he has nothing to say.

"Annie time to shower, I'm sure Zen wants to style your hair for today." Libra says.

I take a quick shower. I still don't understand the point of making me look pretty for a work out. I know people will be watching us, but if I start sweating the makeup will smear off.

I brush my hair while looking in the mirror. I make sure to do twenty strokes exactly. My Mother always said that is what makes your hair perfectly untangled.

_Mom. _I think to myself. I wonder if she has stopped crying yet. I wonder what everyone back home is doing. I wonder...

I hear a banging on my door and then it opens.

I turn and see it is Zen.

"Get dressed, then let me do your hair." He says with a smile.

I hand him the brush and he starts braid it after a few brushes.

"Your mentors offer good advice, but I can as well Annie." He says. I can tell he is smiling by the tone of his voice.

"Then what advice do you have for me?" I ask.

"Make the gamemakers notice you. You have a very plain face, get them to know you."

"Without speaking with them?" I ask.

"Just try to get the best scores on the practice stations. While making friends is important so is the gamemakers attention, it will help with your overall score." Zen says.

"Turn for me." He says and taps my shoulders.

Zen decided to braid two braids into my hair. I haven't worn two braids in my hair since I was a little girl.

"There, you look ready. Remember Annie let remember your face."

We leave my bedroom and Zen leads me to the elevator. I can see Daren is already there.

"You ready?" Daren asks me.

"I don't think I ever will be." I say.

"And this is only the start." Daren says.

"They tell you to make friends?" I ask.

"Yeah. You should stay with two before lunch and I stay with one and after lunch we can switch." He says.

"What about everyone else?" I ask.

"I don't want to know the names of all the people I have to kill." He says.

"Time to go down dearies." Libra says and presses the elevator button.

I didn't even hear him come over.

"Remember make District Four proud." He says as we get off the elevator and walk towards the gym.

We walk inside the large gym and see a few tributes already there.

No one talks we are all just looking at one another. We are all sizing one another up just like the first day. My eyes wander to the loft that is holding the gamemakers, some are pointing and whispering to one another. I wonder what they are whispering about... I wonder who they are whispering about.

Aria, the instructor, comes out when the clock strikes 9:00.

She goes over the rules again but this time adds more emphasis on trying to impress the gamemakers.

Zen described me as plain and I can't argue with him. I'm a face that blends in with the crowd and I don't have a problem with that. However, in this _pageant _it is a problem. I need to be remembered. I need to get strangers to like me enough to give me money and gifts. I can't be plain and ordinary I need to be extraordinary.

* * *

The second day of training went slightly better than the first. Instead of splitting up before lunch Daren dragged me around to spend time with the tributes from 2. They don't like me and in all honesty I don't like them. I don't think I will be able to change their minds, we are too different. We just have to tolerate each other long enough before we kill each other.

As long as they don't try to kill me first then I should be alright. However, I need to figure out how long I can stay safe with my "allies". I'm sure my mentors could give me advice on the subject, but I also think it will be a gut feeling. I don't intend to stay with them for long. I know I'm the lowest on the totem pole in this alliance.

I took my time at each station. Besides, weapons I think I spent the most time at the survival station. There is so much to learn and with all the different environments it makes it impossible for me to learn everything. I wish they would give the tributes some clue of what the arena is. Finnick said it wouldn't be a snowy tundra because they talked about snow in the paper, but I don't see how that would be a clue.

If it was a cold environment I wouldn't need to know about desert animals and different types of cacti. The reverse is also the same not a lot of plants can survive in a snowy tundra but knowing how to find animals is helpful. I'm sticking to the basics like fire starting and tracking. However, I'm spending a decent amount on deadly and editable plants.

Some people consider poisoning people to be a boring kill. I've heard it described as a women's weapon. It doesn't really bother me as along as I can kill someone with it. Besides, I don't want to accidentally kill myself by eating the wrong thing.

* * *

I pick at my cuticles as I wait for my name to be called for my evaluation. I still don't know what to show them. I was just told to do what I thought I would succeed best at.

_Annie Cresta. _I hear Aria's voice shout from the overhead speaker.

When I walk to the gym it seems smaller somehow, even though I am all alone. Zen let me do my hair this time so it is just up in a high ponytail.

"Start when you're ready Miss. Cresta." An older gentleman says from the loft. He has dark purple hair that is neatly pulled back in a ponytail.

I can't remember if he is the head gamemaker or not, but at this time it doesn't really matter. I'm here to impress all of them and not just him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six **

"A 9! A 9 Annie!" Oscar shouts at me as the score flashes across my face.

"Daren got a 10." I say defensively.

I tied knots and worked with fish hooks. I didn't really know what to do. I got nervous and did what I knew I wouldn't mess up. I don't know if it's what I'm best at but I didn't want to mess up knife throwing like I did with the guy from 1.

"It doesn't matter Oscar. I've got it covered and she has the others to protect her." Finnick says.

"You have what covered?" I ask.

"I can always scrape together some money for my tributes." Finnick smiles. "Besides, you'll get supplies at the cornucopia." He says and walks off.

I look over to Daren to see his opinion but I can't read it. He doesn't seem mad or disappointed he just seems calm.

I bet my other allies don't feel the same way. I already know I am viewed as dead weight to them. I know I need to run off as soon as the numbers start to dwindle or even sooner.

I hear a loud tearing sound and jump.

"Look this over tonight. It will help with Caesar's interview tomorrow." Finnick says and hands me pages from his notebook.

He gives a few to Daren as well.

Daren glances at it.

"What is this?" He asks.

"Like I said on the train, I needed to work an angle for you two. When I asked for one word to describe yourself you said driven and Annie said ordinary." He looks at both of us. "I'd go into more detail but you said you wanted to train alone." Finnick says.

"Just look over them tonight." He says and walks away.

I fold mine in half.

After the scores Libra insists it is time for bed. We have a long day of training for our big interview as he put it.

Once I get to my room I fall to my bed. I unfold the piece of paper Finnick gave me.

"You have messy handwriting Finnick." I mumble to myself.

Lots of words are crossed out in certain places and there are plenty of scribbles in the margins.

At the top of the page it is titled Diamond in the rough. He called me that on the train because he didn't like the word ordinary.

_MANNERISMS_

_-sit up straight_

_-smile widely_

_-speak clearly and loud (Libra will help you with this) _

_-appeal to the crowd._

_RESPONSES_

_-tell a defining moment in your life. It could be as simple as your first time tying a knot. _

_-get people to remember you. You're part of the career pack but you need people to remember your name. You don't want to be labeled as the girl from 4._

_-I've always enjoyed school it's where I've learned all of the important skills I need for this game. _

_\- I can't wait to go back home to celebrate this with my family _twirl your hair _it will be such a great honor to share with them._

_-out of my mentors I find Oscar the most helpful but Finnick Odair. _Act bashful here _I am very inspired by him. He is the youngest ever and has taught me many skills here and back home. _(Caesar will ask about me so try to gush. I'm not trying to give myself complements but this is what people want to hear.)

Does Finnick really expect for me to memorize his answers, and a lot of these statements don't apply to me.

Finnick has mentioned that to survive this you will need to lie but the answers I give will probably follow me around for the rest of my life if I win.

Don't worry about that now Annie. For now you just need to worry about the games.

* * *

"Wake up Annie." I hear and a loud banging follows.

I groan. I didn't really sleep but the sun hasn't even rose yet.

I drag my feet to the door and see Libra all happy and smiley he even has his makeup done.

"Zen needs to make sure your measurements are correct for your interview dress and then you and the mentors will work out your angle for tonight." Libra says.

"Apparently Finnick has been working on it this whole time." I mumble.

"Perhaps, but you don't need to follow what Finnick Odair says. He has been doing that notebook trick for awhile now and half the time tributes don't bother with it. I know he thinks he is helping, but maybe it is better for the tributes to just be themselves." Libra says.

"Do you find me interesting Libra?" I ask as he ushers me to the living room.

"Not really." He says.

I've noticed that most Capitol citizens have a great deal of candor. I think they might not even realize they are doing it.

"Would you bet one me?" I ask.

"I'm not allowed to place bets, but no Annie I would not waste money on you."

"Ahem." I hear someone clear their throat and we both turn.

"Come here Annie." Zen says. He basically drags me to the living room.

"I'll let you two work." Libra says and walks off.

"Don't let his words offend you Annie." Zen says as he unzips an outfit bag.

"I want to know what people actually think of me."

Zen nods.

"Are you going to ask me now?" Zen asks with a smile.

"Sure... so do you find me interesting?" I ask.

"I don't know enough about you to find you interesting _and _that is what almost everyone in Panem feels right now about all 24 of you."

"What?" I ask.

"We don't know enough about anyone to find them interesting enough. We have good statistics, but not the personalty of our tributes. You could be beautiful, ugly, a genius, or dumb as rocks. We don't know that yet and we don't need to know the real you. It's your job to make yourself interesting."

_Our tributes _I think to myself. Zen is nice enough but he like most Capitol citizens just think of us as their property... their players in the game. To them we are nothing more than pieces in the Hunger Games. I wonder if they even care when we die...I wonder if they even see us as people.

I clear my throat.

"Is that why Finnick gave me that list?" I ask.

Zen nods.

"Finnick knows what people like... what people want to hear. You're a nice girl Annie, but like I told you before your private training... you have an ordinary face. You need to make yourself memorable somehow."

"Somehow." I repeat softly.

"Alright disrobe now so I can fit you for your dress." Zen says and pulls out the dress.

The dress starts off as an aqua color and then fades to a navy blue. The change of color is very pretty and dramatic it will certainly catch eyes. The dress has lacy aqua sleeves and a v-neck cut with small gems on the outline. The dress is pretty and goes well with my dark hair. When Zen goes for the makeup though I get worried.

"How are you doing my face?" I ask.

"I'm going for a natural look Annie. You're lovely face won't be all made up in the arena. However, I will be painting your nails to match your dress." He says.

I nod. I'm sure the paint will chip away after one day in the arena, but if he thinks this will help me then I will let him do whatever he wishes. I know there is a good chance he is just using me as a doll, but Zen seems to care. The chariot outfit wasn't as ridiculous as it could've been and he speaks to me in a kind voice.

Finnick and Oscar come out as Zen is pining my dress together. Zen got most of the measurements right, but it still needs to be taken in.

"Don't you look pretty." Oscar says in a taunting tone.

Zen shakes his head as he places another pin.

"I think you look nice." Finnick says more sincerely. He isn't looking at me though, he is looking at Zen.

"Thank you Finnick." Zen says and smiles. "I would've loved to be the stylists who made your outfits."

"I'm sure you would've. She became a household name after I won." Finnick says with a smile.

"Only a few more pins Annie." Zen says.

"So Annie did you do your homework last night?" Finnick asks.

"I read over the notes and I must say it is interesting how you have whole conversations already played out."

"Caesar has a certain formula when asking the questions. I'm sure you've noticed they are relatively similar until he finds a topic the tribute feels the most comfortable with." Finnick says.

"How can he find that topic if I am lying?" I ask.

"You don't have to lie you can just embellish a little."

"That is a fancy word for lying." I say.

He rolls his eyes.

"We'll be doing practice questions after breakfast, after lunch the mentors have to spend time with Daren. Libra will help you then." Finnick says.

I nod.

"There, all done Annie. We will work on your nails later." Zen says with a smile. He takes the dress off carefully and walks off.

"So, where is everyone else?" I ask.

"Oscar and Mags are in the kitchen, before we go in I'd like to discuss the notes I gave you." He says.

"Well the mannerisms, as you called it, I can figure out but how you want me to answer the questions... I'm not a good liar Finnick."

"So you've said, just tell me something about District 4... it can be anything." Finnick says.

"Watching turtles hatch and go into the ocean for the first time."

Finnick smiles as if remembering something.

"Elaborate and feel free to be over dramatic." Finnick says.

"Well,there's nothing else like it. You get to see the start of their life and if you help them make it into the ocean they won't be able to survive on their own. You have to let them do it themselves so they can be strong. Only the strong can survive in the ocean. Only the strong can survive in District 4." I say.

"I got chills at that last bit." Finnick says with a teasing smile. "But you should add it and talking about home makes you more stand outish." Finnick says.

"But I'll still just be the girl from District 4." I say.

"You'll be the turtle girl from 4. I can lie and say turtles are such deadly creatures."

I roll my eyes.

"So from the top." Finnick says.

* * *

"Hello everyone and a Happy Hunger Games!" Caesar Flickermen beams as he waves to the crowd. His hair is a bright orange this year, but he still has on a stunning sequin suit that I think only he could pull off. Then again I don't know much about Capitol fashion, but I do know that a sequin suit is Caesar's trademark outfit.

The crowd erupts with cheers and sequels.

Caesar gives opening remarks on what will be on the program tonight. He thanks the viewers all over Panem for tuning in -as if they have a choice- he also interviews a few of the gamemakers. I can tell by the audience that they aren't very excited with this segment. They want to see the 24 tributes _their_ tributes. The sad part is a lot of _their _tributes will be dead by tomorrow night. I just hope I'm not one of them.

"So what did Finnick's paper say?" Daren asks me quietly.

"When to smile and flip my hair... talk about home." I say.

He nods.

"Mine basically said to make answers short and act strong."

"Are you going to do it?" I ask.

"Yes... among other things." Daren says and smiles.

"I'm surprised you want to share your interview strategy." I say.

"I could be lying. Besides, I don't see the need to lie about this... it's important to reel in Capitol citizens but it won't change my strategy in the arena."

"Speaking of strategy I want to ask you a few questions after the interviews." I say. I know the people next to us are listening in. I know Daren and I are in an alliance, but I don't know if I should go right for the cornucopia or if there is some other plan. I can't image there being another plan, then again the plan might have to change if the arena is different.

I feel a hand on my upper arm and am being dragged away by someone with a headset.

"Stand here until I say." The person says bored.

I didn't even realize it was almost my turn.

"And now for our next tribute who comes from the land with sea... Annie Cresta." Caesar Flickermen says into his microphone.

Cheers follow shortly after. I don't think anyone has ever cheered for me before. Especially, this loudly.

"Go." The person says and shoves me forward.

I almost fall because of the sparkly silver heels, they match the gemstones on my dress. Zen said they would sparkle perfectly from the stage lights.

I walk out to Caesar and shake his hand which is sweaty. He doesn't react to it, I'm sure this is a usual thing for tributes.

He motions for me to sit and I do.

"Annie... Annie, you look marvelous tonight." He says with a smile.

"Y-yes the color of blue reminds me of home." I say. It's not a lie.

"Ah yes District 4 the land of the sparkling sea." I wouldn't call the land of sparkling sea. I would call it the land of the fishermen. "Do you have anything you are missing just terribly?" He asks.

"The Capitol doesn't have the sea here Caesar." I say and smile.

I tell the story of how I love sea turtles hatching and making their way to the ocean. I make sure to emphasize on the detail about the turtles not being able to survive if they don't make it to the beach by themselves.

"So is that what you think of yourself Annie... that you can't receive help to become strong?" Caesar asks.

"There is nothing wrong with needing help Caesar." I giggle and flip my hair to make Finnick proud. "But, in the arena I can only trust myself I will try to make allies, but if not I will just have to cut them down." I say in a more serious tone. I smile fakely into the camera so it still seems like I am still a smiley happy girl.

"Well, we shall see how you play in the arena." Caesar says as the timer goes off.

He shakes my hand again.

"Annie Cresta." He says and lifts our hands up in the air.

I walk off the stage and can see Finnick waiting for me.

"He didn't ask about you." I say. Finnick was so adamant that Caesar would bring up him or the mentors but alas Caesar did not.

"I know such a shame." He says with a smile. I can't tell if he is being serious or not.

I roll my eyes.

"I don't remember telling you to act fake tough." Finnick says more seriously.

I shrug.

"You wanted me to talk about the turtles and I thought it felt right in the moment. Besides, if it seemed fake people will probably make fun of me." I say. Making fun of me means they will at least remember the girl from 4 making a fool of herself.

Finnick sighs.

"I guess." Finnick says.

"Besides, it's 24 kids. It's going to be hard to remember all of us."

"True." Finnick says. "You can head back to the apartment." Finnick says.

I nod.

"Daren said he will talk to me about strategy when he gets back." I say.

"I know." He says.

"What? How?" I ask. It was my suggestion.

"It usually happens the night before. He'll probably just say meet at the cornucopia and don't die."

I nod.

Finnick walks away. I spot Libra and he presses the up button on the elevator.

"I thought you did very well Annie." Libra says.

I nod.

I think he is lying but I'm not going to bring it up.

"You should sit and wait for the others." Libra says and ushers me to the sofa.

"Actually I was hoping-"

"Time to change later. We need one last District meeting." Libra says with a smile. He sits next to me and we wait.

* * *

"Are we underground?" I ask Zen as we walk through a door with a 4 above it. All the walls are made of stone and instead of the floor being a fancy marble or carpet it is dirt.

I said goodbye to my mentors earlier. They asked if I wanted any last minute advice, but I couldn't think of a question to ask. They all wished me a good luck, but I don't know if it will do me any good.

Zen then took me to the elevator and pressed a button that was a red down arrow. It seemed like we rode the elevator for 5 minutes.

"Possibly." He says.

I get the feeling he isn't allowed to tell me.

"My ears just popped so I figured..." I trail off not knowing what else to say.

"You just don't want to talk about what is about to happen." Zen says.

I nod.

He's right. I'd rather talk about architecture than me going into a death arena.

"Well we can talk about your outfit then." He says unzips it.

Ah yes the outfit all the others will be wearing. It might give us a clue to what the arena will be like but with the games starting in less than an hour, it doesn't really matter.

Zen pulls out a tan t-shirt that is nothing special. Zen rubs the fabric between his fingers.

"It's probably made of cotton and is a little thick for a t-shirt." He says.

Next he pulls out a jacket that doesn't look very thick. It is also tan, but has black and white splotches on it. It's like a camouflage print.

"It's pretty thick. I'd expect cold nights." He says.

Last are the pants that have the same pattern as the jacket. It also has multiple pockets that could hold multiple things. There is also a black belt as an accessory.

"As thick as the jacket." Zen says referring to the pants.

To complete the look there are tan knee high socks and tan combat boots.

"I'm thinking a desert." I blurt out.

"The outfit will make you blend in with a sandy pit and rocky mountains." He says.

I nod.

"You should get dressed." He tells me.

I do. The outfit fits me perfectly.

"How does it fit?" Zen asks.

"Like a glove." I say softly.

"Good." He says.

I sit and he forces a plate into my hands.

"Eat that, you shouldn't go in with an empty stomach." Zen says.

"I don't think I can." I say as my shaky hand goes for a grape.

Zen sighs.

"At least drink some water. If the arena is a sandy pit you will get dehydrated quickly. Although they won't want too many of you to die from natural causes... won't be as interesting." Zen says.

I sip it slowly and carefully.

"Do you know what to do as soon as you get in there?" He asks.

"Run." I say.

He nods.

"Sand will probably make that hard." I say to myself.

I've walked on sandy beaches my whole life and it is hard to run on hot dry sand. The sand covered in sea waves is another story... but the dry sand forget about it.

_90 seconds. _A voice says from the speaker.

"Finish the glass Annie." Zen says.

He makes me gulp it down.

He sweeps my hair up and puts it in a high pony tail.

_60 seconds _the voice says.

Zen drags me to the tube that will lift me into the arena lightly as if I was a small child.

As soon as I am in front of it opens automatically for me.

_30 seconds. _

"It has been a pleasure working with you Annie." Zen says.

I nod.

"Good luck." He says.

_10 seconds. _

Zen lets go of my hand and gently pushes me into the tube.

It closes and I can feel myself shaking. I put my hands on the glass and slowly feel my circle start to rise.

_This is it. Let the Games begin. _


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

I put my hand up to shield my eyes from the hot sun. I can smell the heat in the air. I'm really glad Zen made me drink that glass of water.

"Hello tributes and a Happy Hunger Games! The countdown to the 70th Hunger Games will now begin! Have a Happy Hunger Games and remember the odds are in your favor!" A cheery voice says. I can imagine the Capitol citizens cheering from here. This is the moment they have been waiting for.

I can see the countdown clock right above the cornucopia. We have 60 seconds to take in the arena before we are allowed to step off our pedestal. If you step off too early a set of bombs will go off and you will be the first to die. I wonder if that would be a better route to go than have a painful fight to the death. I'm not going to take that route because I plan on going back home. No matter how foolish the idea might be I'm not going to give up, not yet anyways.

"Let the countdown begin!" The voice says and the clock starts.

I move my hand away so my eyes can adjust. I wasn't wrong about it being a sandy pit, because that is what is surrounding the cornucopia all there is, is sand. Once you get away from the cornucopia it looks like there is dirt with tons of rocky mountain that are a tansih color. There are a few trees in the distance that look a little worse for wear. I can't see any water in any direction, but I can hear a large amount of water falling somewhere. It's either a giant waterfall or something else. The gamemakers wouldn't' create an arena without any water.

Finnick was right, this is no snowy tundra this is a hot sandy nightmare.

The first person who gets their hands on a weapon has the advantage because it is hard to run in a pit of sand. If you get a long range weapon you will easily be able to kill someone.

I look to my right and see a jet black pack sitting ten feet away. There is also a neon yellow pack about twenty feet in front of me. The closer the object is to the cornucopia the better it will be. I'm supposed to go running off to the cornucopia, but I should still make other plans.

I look around the arena to see if I can spot Daren. I don't see him which means he must be on the other side of the circle. I do spot Jewel though, she is a few circles away. She looks very determined and not as bloodthirsty as I expected.

I wonder if I should go in a straight line or make some type of zig zag pattern. If it was solid ground I would go with the zig zag because it would be less obvious where my next step would be. However, I think the sand makes my strategy different.

I get into a running stance when the countdown clock reaches 10.

_Just go straight for the cornucopia._ I think to myself. I just hope Onyx or another career doesn't accidentally kill me.

5...4...3...2...1

_GONG!_

I don't waste anytime I just run off the plate without any thought. I'm right, running in the sand is nothing like running on the ground and my feet seem to sink deeper with each step. The heavy jacket and pants don't make it any easier either. Running through this sand is going to take up more of our energy. I wonder what the gamemakers were thinking.

I hear a shout next to me and know someone has died.

I pick up an orange bag when I am close to it. I don't bother looking through it. I just want to have something in case I can't make it to the cornucopia and need to run off.

The sand grazes my hand as I pick up the pack and it is a burring hot. Walking in this sand barefoot would give you blisters easily. I remember one day in District 4 it was so hot that everyone was at the beach. No one wanted to get sick with heat stroke. However, the sand was so hot. I was so hot that I didn't bother to bring any shoes. My feet were on fire by the time I made it to the ocean, my Mother scolded me later because I got a few blisters on my feet, but it was worth it. It was so hot out and the water was so cold. My friend Luna and I stayed in the water all day swimming and splashing each other. It was like we were kids again, the only worry that day was about escaping the heat. We weren't worried about the Hunger Games or how the fishing quota was too low, we were just happy to be cool.

I get to the cornucopia a second, after Onyx. Next is Daren, then Jewel, and Ama makes it last. We are all breathing heavily. Onyx picks up a spear and throws it at one of the running tributes. He takes them down easily.

"Why is it so fucking hot?" Onyx, the boy from 2, complains. He wipes the sweat off of his forehead.

"Who the hell knows." Miracle, the guy from 1, says.

"Let's not think about it, let's just go through the supplies." Jewel, the female from 1, says.

I tighten my pony tail as Onyx starts to look through all the stuff. He seems angry for some reason maybe it is the heat. His shirt is already stained with blood so some of his bloodlust must have been fufilled.

"What the hell is this?" Onyx says as he tosses his jacket off. It is the smart thing to do with how thick the pants are, keeping our jackets on will make us dehydrated quick.

I take mine off and throw it to the ground as well.

Onyx picks something else up and throws it angrily to the ground.

"What the hell is this?" He says louder.

"What?" Ama, the girl from 2, asks.

"Where are all the weapons?" Onyx asks angrily.

I survey the mess Onyx has made and realize he is correct most of the stash at the cornucopia is food, water, flashlights, medical supplies, flint, and matches. There's only a few packs of throwing knives, one sword, a flare gun, a mace, chains, thick rope, and a bat with nails nailed onto the top.

"Just calm down. Supplies must be more important than weapons. I mean have you seen the arena Onyx it's a sandy wasteland... I don't see any bushes or plants for food." Ama says.

I wonder if Onyx has an anger problem and she has been doing this the whole time we have been in the Capitol. That would be an annoying job, but I get the feeling it is necessary. I also get the feeling that a simple thing like heat will set this guy off. Onyx will have no trouble killing anyone. I bet going into the Hunger Games has been his dream for a long time.

"There isn't even a lake we can see." Daren says.

"We do have plenty of water crates though." I say.

"Whatever." Onyx snarls.

"This is what hell probably feels like." Jewel says.

"They'll probably turn the temperature down in a few hours. They don't want us to die from heat exhaustion." I say.

If the gamemakers don't turn it down or people don't find a water supply people are going to die quickly. The games can't end quickly and we all can't die from heat exhaustion. I think it is pretty safe to assume it won't be this hot the whole time we are in here.

"Whatever, let's just sort through the supplies." Onyx says.

We start making piles and giving out rations. .I don't think I've ever seen the gamemakers supply so much water for the tributes before. Everyone argued over how to divide the rations for awhile. I kept my mouth shut since Onyx and Miracle seem like they will kill someone if they disagree. I remember Jewel telling me in the training center that she was close with him. I think that is why she isn't afraid to speak her mind around him.

Onyx didn't even want to ration out the food, his arrogance and temper is becoming more apparent the longer I spend with him. I think 2 has never felt heat like this before, Daren and I do a few days out of the year. I don't think we could last a week in this heat though, I don't think anyone could last a week. They have to make it cooler eventually or we will all die.

Onyx decided who got what weapon. I was given the rope because apparently that is all he saw I was good at in the training center. It is good quality rope that can make traps easily, but I wouldn't mind having a knife. Daren was given the bat with the nails on the end, you could easily beat someone to death with it. Onyx took the sword for himself and Ama got the mace. Jewel and Miracle were given the knife packs which I'm not surprised by, that is what they were best at in the training center.

"The flare gun stays in a pack at all times." Onyx says.

_It's official Onyx is our unofficial leader._ I think to myself.

If I was bold enough I would take first watch and slit his throat while everyone was asleep. A cowards move sure, but does it really matter if it keeps you alive?

"What the hell kind of knife is this?" Miracle says pulling me from my thoughts.

He is holding a knife with a short wide wooden handle and the blade is very small with a perfect sharp point. It isn't used for throwing. As he turns it in his hand I find it familiar but can't be sure from this distance.

"Let me see." I say. I don't dare take it from his hand.

"Alright 4." He says and gives it to me.

I turn it in my hands and recognize it easily and not from the training center. Anyone from District 4 would know what kind of knife this is. It's not really a knife, it's an oyster shucker. I have more than one at my house, but I can guarantee they are not this sharp. We use them to clean oysters, not my favorite job because you can easily cut yourself but it is easy.

"It's an oyster knife." Daren says standing behind me.

"What's that?" Jewel asks.

"We have them back home, they are used mostly to clean shellfish." Daren says.

"Useless then." Onyx says annoyed.

"Not really, it tells us something." I say.

"And what's that 4?" Onyx says annoyed.

"It means there are oysters in the arena." I say confidently. Why the hell else would they put this in the arena? You could be able to stab someone with it, but probably couldn't kill someone... at least not easily. The more plausible of giving us this is because there are oysters in here.

"What's that?" The girl from 2 asks.

"It's a type of shellfish you can eat. They're hard to open without the right equipment." Daren says.

The saying a tough shell is hard to crack can apply to opening an oyster.

"Fine, it's your job to keep it safe then 4." Miracle says annoyed.

I nod.

At least I have a weapon now.

"She can have the chains too." Onyx says and drops them at my feet.

"Thanks." I say hoping he can't hear the annoyance. I don't know what I will do with a line of chains and it will be hell to carry in my backpack.

"What now?" Daren asks.

"We collect the rest of the supplies out there." Ama says and points to the supplies that are still scattered around the cornucopia.

"Then we hunt." Onyx says with a smile.

I hear the cannons go off.

The gamemakers set off cannons to signal when someone dies in the arena. It's why they implant trackers into our arms before we enter the arena. The gamemakers will also be able to tell where we are every single second we are in here. However, since a decent amount of people die in the bloodbath they don't start the cannons until a few hours later.

_BOOM... BOOM...BOOM...BOOM...BOOM...BOOM...BOOM...BOOM_

"I counted 8." I say.

"16 left." Daren says.

"Well by tomorrow it will be less." Onyx says with a smile.

"We should start collecting the stuff." Jewel says.

"I'll go with you." I say.

She nods.

Daren comes as well.

It has cooled off some, but the sand still burns my fingers when I pick up the packs. I think Onyx was hoping for more weapons, but we got more flashlights and medical supplies. Almost all of the packs had flashlights in them.

"Why so many flashlights?" I ask aloud more to myself than anyone else.

"It must get dark at night." Ama says.

"No shit." Miracle says.

"I meant unnaturally dark, they've done it before." Ama says.

"They usually have night vision goggles then... I mean no one wants to see us stumbling around at night." Daren says.

"Maybe." I say.

"It probably won't be dark for a few more hours. I think we should split up." Miracle says.

"Why right now?" I ask.

"Someone should find out where the waterfall is, a lot of tributes will probably head in that direction to find water. I mean you guys didn't find any in the packs did you?" Miracle asks.

"A couple had a small amount of water in them, but most were just empty containers." I say.

"They are making that waterfall unnaturally loud for a reason, they want tributes to be able to find the water." Miracle says. "I say 3 of us go out now to find the waterfall and when they get back the rest of us can go out and hunt for the night." Miracle says.

"I like it." Onyx says.

"Who do we pick?" Ama asks.

"I would say rock paper scissors but..." Onyx says with a smile.

I know he is going to say my name no matter want. Onyx already thinks I'm weak so if I die early on I won't become a liability later. However, I have no doubt in my mind that he would kill me in the blink of an eye.

"Since it was Miracle's plan he is going, I think Ama should go because she is a good tracker, and Annie can tag along as well." Onyx says.

"Who died and made you boss?" Jewel says annoyed.

"It sounds fine to me." Miracle says quickly. He must realize Onyx is a loose cannon as well.

"Good pack your stuff and say your goodbyes." Onyx says.

I grab my pack and stuff my jacket in it.

"Take this." Daren says and hands me a water bottle.

"Thanks." I say.

I pack some food and bandages as well. I put one of the flashlights in my pocket and fill up a canteen with water. I put an iodine tablet in it so it will be purified by the time I need it.

"Jesus Annie you don't need to pack that much we are only going to be gone a few hours." Miracle says.

_Right. _I think to myself annoyed.

"She just likes to be prepared." Daren says and looks at me like I just broke the law. I know how these careers think but honestly I'm not going to leave a lot behind when I have no idea what is out there.

"Right, well just don't slow us down." Miracle says.

"Here." Onyx says and gives Ama a compass. "See you guys soon."

"Bye Jewel." Miracle says.

"Come back safe." She says.

I nod to Daren and we walk off towards the sound of the waterfall.

We walk off to the mountainous terrain and stay silent for awhile.

"So are you close with Onyx?" Miracle asks Ama.

"Not really I've ran into him a couple times back home, but don't really know him. Why are you asking?" She asks.

"You seem to be able to calm his anger quickly." Miracle says.

I nod in agreement.

"I've just gotten used to him. He's all bark but no bite." Ama says.

_Sure he is. _I think to myself.

"Should we just keep going north?" I ask.

"Just follow the sound." Miracle says.

"And keep your eyes open for tributes." Ama says.

I nod.

We walk for awhile not saying anything. I don't know if it is to keep other tributes from hearing us or none of us have anything to say. Personally I'm okay with the silence.

The waterfall sound gets louder and louder with each step, we must almost be there. As if to confirm this a mosquito lands on my arm.

"Hey-"

I get pulled to the crowd and fall down hard then hear a cannon go off.

I touch myself as if I'm the one who just died. I see Miracle standing above me smiling. He helps me up.

"Hope I didn't push you too hard... someone was about to attack us and you were in the way." He says.

I look to the left and see a dead tribute lying next to me. Miracle walks over to the girl and takes the knife out of her chest. It happened so fast... the life of someone just snuffed out and he doesn't even seem to care.

"That's two for me." Miracle says and puts up his hand up for me to high five.

"You're keeping count." I say trying to hide my disdain.

Ama high fives him.

"Yeah, where's the fun if you don't." Miracle says with a smile.

"She's just upset because she hasn't gotten anyone yet." Ama says.

"What's your score?" Miracle asks her.

"1, I think Onyx is leading though." Ama says.

They are talking about killing people like a game of volleyball. They don't seem to view it as murder, they are almost as bad as the Capitol citizens.

I swat another mosquito away. After we walk through some foliage we finally reach the sound of the falling water

"What the hell is that?" Ama says.

"It's definitely not a waterfall." Miracle says.

"It's a dam." I say looking at the water fall through the gates. All the water of the arena must flow here. I run my hand through the water, it is as cold as ice. It feels so nice from how hot it is.

"A what?" Miracle asks and gets closer.

"A dam... don't they teach you about the other Districts?" I ask.

"Why would they?" Ama asks confused.

In history class we learn about what all the Districts supply us with. District 5 has an electrical dam that provides power for the whole country.

"District 5 has an electrical one... it powers the whole country." I say awkwardly.

_How can they not know this? _I think to myself.

"Right, it's why they are always dressed in light bulbs for the parade." Ama says.

"Yup." I say.

"It's not that far from camp, only a couple of hours." Miracle says referring to the dam.

"You were right though, a decent amount of people have come through here." Ama says and looks down. You can see footprints on the ground if you look hard enough.

"You want to see if we can track them down?" Miracle asks.

"It's probably going to get dark soon and who knows what could be out here." I say.

I'm not just worried about tributes I'm worried about the gamemaker creations that could be out here.

"Come on Annie stop being afraid. Onyx would be fine with it." Ama says.

Before I'm able to argue a bird lands on the ground in front of us. The bird is small and has feathers that are bright purple. It has pitch black eyes. The claws and beak are a strange redish color.

"Don't move." I say.

I am pretty sure that this is no real bird.

"Annie C'mon we-"

Before Ama can finish the bird lets out a demonic screech.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for reading and a special shout out to ****electricbrain for being my first reviewer. Look out for the next chapter everyone and have a nice day!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

The screech of the bird makes all the blood drain from my face. The screech easily drowns out the sound of the falling water from the dam. I hope it isn't calling for friends.

"Just back away slowly." I say softly. I don't know if it will matter. At home when a seagull catches interest in you it is hard to get it to leave you alone.

"It's just a bird 4." Miracle says getting closer to the bird.

_Maybe I overreacted._ _Maybe these birds are in another District. _I think to myself.

However, my thoughts change when another comes into the fold screeching just as loudly. This one doesn't land though it goes straight to Ama and takes a large chunk of her skin from her arm.

She starts swearing loudly, but I can also tears in her eyes.

The bird happily eats her flesh and looks like it wants to go back for more when Miracle kills it with one of his knives. He kills the other one as well.

"Did you bring bandages?" Miracle asks me.

Before I can answer I can hear the screeching of the birds in the distance. The calls of the others are leading them straight towards us.

"Run." I say instead.

He doesn't argue with me this time. I'm sure he heard the flutter of their wings and loud screeches. I don't know how many are in the flock but I don't want to find out.

I don't know if I'm running in the direction of camp, but I just want to escape the carnivorous birds. It seems like Miracle doesn't care either and Ama is following us slowly gripping her arm.

I wonder if any of the other tributes are going to spot our trail, it's not like we are trying to cover our tracks.

We run for miles, but the sound of the birds still follow us. I'm starting to think it is all in my head, but am too afraid to look back and check. I hear Miracle shout something. It sounds like a moan in pain.

I turn this time and see the flock has finally caught up swarming us like a pack of bees.

"RUN." Miracle says as the birds start to attack him. It doesn't take long before some of the swarm comes to me.

I can feel myself get cuts from their sharp talons, but thankfully I'm quick enough that they won't take a piece of my flesh.

After many minutes the birds leave one by one almost peacefully. I'm guessing something or someone else caught their attention.

Once all the birds are all gone I fall to my knees and am breathing heavily. I can hear someone threw up and we are all breathing heavily.

I'm glad this outfit has pants because if it didn't my legs would be as marred as my arms and face. I felt the beack touch my skin a few times, but I guess I was too fast to be lunch. I did get many cuts on my arms and a few on my face. The cuts are stinging and are leaking blood. The cuts aren't very deep, but could probably get infected easily.

I turn towards Miracle and Ama and see that they are just as badly scarred as myself. However, Ama is bleeding profusely from where the bird ate her flesh. It is a big gash on her upper arm. The sleeve on her shirt is drenched with blood.

"Get the medical stuff 4." Miracle says.

_I didn't bring much. _ I think to myself. I find it a little ironic that he said we didn't need many supplies and is now begging me for medical supplies.

"I don't have enough for all the cuts... and I think Ama needs it the most." I say.

He rolls his eyes.

"Just give them to me." He says angirly and wipes blood from his arm.

I take off my pack and pull out the few bandages and anti barctial gel I brought.

"That's it." He says annoyed.

"You said we didn't need to pack that much." I say defensively.

"Well, you should have brought enough for everyone." He says.

I notice his thumb is tracing his knife.

_Is he really going to kill me? _I think to myself.

He could if he wanted to. I think the only person who would miss me is Daren and even then I don't think he will be too broken up about it. However, Ama is a different story.

"We need to take care of Ama first, she's going to die if we don't stop the bleeding." I say softer hoping Ama won't hear.

He rolls his eyes.

"I don't think Onyx will like it if we don't come back with her." I say.

I don't know how close they are, but District 2 has a thing about loyalty. Miracle and I would probably be dead as soon as we got to camp. If that happened Jewel would probably go after Onyx because her and Miracle are close. I doubt she would win against him especially if he was angry. If this did break out Daren should run if he got he chance.

The career pack breaking up this early would be interesting, but I'm going to make sure that doesn't happen.

"Fine." He says.

"You should watch for tributes." I say to him.

"Fine." He says angirly this time.

_How the hell did I get in charge._ I think to myself.

"Ama sit down." I say gently.

She does and I take her hand away that was shaking.

_Gross_. I think to myself. The flesh is marred and bleeding. It's so deep that I think I can see some muscle. I know nothing of medicine so if this gets infected I'm pretty sure she will die.

I take my water bottle and splash water on it to clean it a little.

"Ouch." She says weakly.

I don't comment I just go for the gel.

When I put it on the bloody mess she cries out loudly.

"Shut up." Miracle snarls.

I grab one of the bandages and start to wrap the wound. She bleeds through it easily. After a few other bandages the bleeding has seemed to slow down. I don't think it has stopped completely, but I want to make sure Miracle has at least one bandages.

"She good?" He asks annoyed. He has been asking this every five minutes.

"Yeah, but I think she will need a hand going back to camp. She's lost a decent amount of blood and-"

"Did you save any for me?" He asks annoyed.

"Yes." I say and give him a bandage and the anti bacterial gel.

I made sure to use the anti bacterial gel before giving it to him. My cuts stopped bleeding awhile ago, I know we have more bandages at camp. I drink some water as Miracle attends to his wounds.

"Don't worry Annie, I'm fine." Ama says.

"I know. I just want to make sure." I lie.

"Let's go." Miracle says and throws the gel at me.

"Maybe you should carry her?" I say to Miracle. I get the feeling I know his answer already.

He sighs.

"I'll carry the packs to make it easier." I add.

"If we get attacked I don't trust you to protect us. You can just drag her." Miracle says.

"I'm fine Annie." Ama says but struggles to get up. "We should leave soon it's going to get dark soon."

"Camps this way, try and keep up." Miracle says and brushes past me.

We walk back to camp and Miracle is complaining about how slow we are moving the whole time. He also keeps complaining about his cuts which is annoying since Ama is bleeding to death.

When we finally get back to the sandy pit it is almost dark out. It is also freezing I can see my breath each time I breathe.

_No wonder the jackets were so thick. _I think to myself.

Extremely hot during the day and extremely cold during the night.

The temperature did cool off a few hours after we were in here and that temperature was bearable. I think it is also cooler away from the cornucopia, maybe the sand somehow makes it hotter.

"Took you guys long enough!" Onyx shouts before we are close enough for him to see Ama's condition. I think she has passed out, but can't tell.

"Sorry, we were attacked." Miracle says.

"What the hell?" Onyx says when he sees our condition.

"Annie." Daren says worried.

"I'm fine." I say.

"You should cover those cuts so they don't get infected." He says.

"I ran out of bandages out there." I say and glance at Miracle.

"Well, we have plenty here." Daren says and takes me to the place where we keep the medical supplies.

I can hear Miracle give an edited version of the birds attacking us.

"Here." Daren says and gives me a damp cloth.

"So what happened out there?" He asks. We are out of ear shot from the others.

"Gamemaker creations attacked us." I say.

"What kind of creation?" Daren asks.

"Carnivorous birds. The noise they made were something I've never heard before. It sounded like the screeches of some monster."

Daren nods and hands me a package of bandages.

"Why does Ama look so much worse?" He asks.

"One of the birds took a giant piece of flesh from her. They nipped at Miracle and myself, but I think because we were running it was harder for the birds. Their talons still scratched us up pretty bad." I say.

"How many birds were there?" He asks.

"Over a dozen and their could be more in the arena. They seemed to find each other through the screeches so if you see them I'd kill them immediately." I say.

Daren nods.

"Did you guys find the waterfall?" He asks.

I nod.

"It wasn't' a waterfall... it was a big dam." I say.

"Interesting." Daren says absentmindedly "Did you see any other water?" He asks.

"I was too busy running away from killer birds to notice."

He nods.

"Why?" I ask.

"I was just thinking that there must be some other place with water... I mean why else give us that oyster shucker?"

"I've thought the same thing." I say.

Daren glances back over to the others.

"Is Ama going to be okay?" He asks softly.

"She lost a lot of blood... I think she will be okay though." I say.

Daren nods.

"What happened here?" I ask not wanting to think what will happen if Ama dies.

"Onyx and Jewel got worried after you guys were gone for so long. Especially after that canon went off."

"Miracle killed someone." I say. I notice Daren didn't say he was worried about me.

Daren nods.

"Onyx was chomping at the bit for you to get back. All he wants to do is kill." He says. He sounds worried.

I nod.

Daren shivers.

"Man it got cold quickly." Daren says.

I nod.

I had to take my jacket off to take care of my cuts, but yes it is cold.

"It seems to be getting colder by the minute." I say.

"Extremely hot in the day and bitterly cold at night... I wonder what else the gamemakers have in store for us." Daren says.

I shrug.

"I don't really want to find out." I say more to myself than Daren.

"Daren! Annie!" Onyx shouts.

I slump my jacket back on and head over to him.

"We're leaving to go hunting." He motions towards everyone but Ama and myself. "Annie you're going to stay here and look after Ama."

I nod. I honestly don't want to go back out there anytime soon. Besides, if I want to make a quick escape I can easily leave.

"Okay." I say.

"Start a fire. I want to be warm when I get back." Onyx says and slings his pack over his shoulder.

If I were any other tribute this would be a death sentence, but I don't think many people would strike the career camp this early.

I nod.

I hear the country's anthem start to blast and then the deceased faces are shown in the sky. I honestly don't recognize a few of them. I feel terrible about it, but there were so many of us and I was mostly more concerned about getting in with the careers that I paid little attention to the other tributes. I do recongize the small girl from 3 though. We shared an elevator one day after training a young life taken by the Capitol.

"Annie." I hear Ama say softly.

"Yeah?" I ask.

"Water." She says.

I nod and give her some.

"Let me check your bandage." I say to her.

She nods.

_She's still bleeding _I think to myself.

I start the fire and am glad even though it is pointing a neon sign right at us. My fingers were starting to go numb... this arena is crazy.

I look back over at Ama.

_If she dies when they're gone you're leaving. _I think to myself. I think I will do okay by myself and Onyx is too much of a loose cannon for me to stay here for long. One way or another I will be breaking off from the group.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

The night was so dark. Sitting at camp I couldn't even see the platforms the tributes rose from and they are only twenty feet away. I get why the gamemakers gave us so many flashlights now. Almost all the packs we found had a flashlight in them. What I don't understand is why they didn't have any night vision goggles. It would make it easier to see and much more exciting than watching us stumble around in the dark.

The others were still able to find a tribute though, I wasn't the only person who set a fire. I don't know who it was but I can't exactly blame them it was freezing during the night. The jackets we got are pretty thick so you wouldn't freeze to death overnight. However, it will still be uncomfortable and terribly cold, but you can survive. Onyx was upset that they weren't able to find so many people, only fifteen of us are left. Onyx seemed thrilled to see that Ama was sitting up and able to eat crackers. I think she is out of the woods, but she shouldn't go on any hunting trips.

I'm trying to figure out when I should leave the others. I can't decide if I should wait until a certain amount of tributes are dead or wait until I think the group is about to turn on one another. Onyx will get angry enough eventually and will probably kill one of us out of frustration and I don't want to be here long enough when that happens. I know someone told me to trust my instincts I can't remember if it was a mentor or Zen.

"You see anything interesting when we were gone?" I hear Onyx ask me. His voice sounds less threatening than before.

"It was too dark to see anything." I say.

He nods satisfied with the answer.

"It wasn't much better out there... I think we need to carry more flashlights or we should make something to have it brighter." He says.

"If you use all of them at once that risks the batteries draining all at the same time." I say. I don't remember seeing any battery packs with all the supplies.

"We could do something else." Jewel says.

Onyx and I both turn.

"And what would that be?" Onyx says.

Jewel smiles.

"Shout to the gods of course."

She steps out into the sandy pit. The cameras will get a better angle on her there.

"Cashmere, Gloss we need some assistant out here. Anyone who wants to see more action please support us." Jewel says.

She keeps shouting and Onyx rolls his eyes and walks away.

"Didn't even think about shouting to our mentors." Daren says.

It looks like Jewel is starting to dance right now.

It is suspicious that they haven't sent us those by now. The prices should still be low enough at this point in the games. The longer the games go on the higher the prices of things are. Once it gets to the final eight you can forget about it, a handful of crackers would cost thousands of dollars. It's why they have a feast when it gets to the final eight. The gamemakers set up something for each tribute generally something the tribute really needs. I've seen medicine loads of times at the feast. It's really just an excuse to bring all of us together and have another bloody fight. You don't have to go if you don't think you need to. I've always wondered what I would do. I guess if I make it far enough I won't have to wonder.

"They should be helping us." Jewel says annoyed and sits back down.

"It doesn't matter... what are we going to do today?" Miracle asks.

"We go hunting obviously." Onyx says.

"I think someone should stay behind." Miracle says and glances at Ama. I'm surprised he didn't look at me. Miracle obviously thinks I'm the weakest link and I don't blame him. I even think that I am the weakest link. I couldn't beat any of them in a fight... I might be able to outsmart them in some categories but when it comes to something psychical forget it.

"Ama can guard the supplies, everyone else should be looking for the tributes." His eyes linger one me. "We look better with all of us together." He says.

"I don't think we should come back every day." Daren says bravely.

"Why not?" Onyx says angrily.

"We need to cover more ground... other tributes don't stay in the same spot everyday. We shouldn't either this will make it easier to kill more tributes." Daren says carefully.

He's not wrong coming back to the cornucopia every day could be useless. I don't know how big this arena is but there is a lot of ground to cover and everyone coming back starting at the same point all over again wastes time. There is a reason why tributes don't stay at the same place for so long. Yeah people would be stupid to attack all of the careers when they are together, but most of the tributes are probably far far away from here.

"That would leave Ama by herself." Onyx growls.

"She could come with us." Jewel says.

"Someone needs to protect our stuff and she's injured. It might be hard for her to keep up." Miracle says.

"She's a good tracker... Annie should stay behind." Onyx says.

What a shock. I think to myself.

"No Annie should go with you guys. Like Miracle says I would just hold you guys up." Ama says.

She could be worse than she looks. She had me stop looking at her wound and changed the dressing herself. I wonder if she is still bleeding.

"Fine." Onyx says curtly.

"Good. Everybody should pack up, we're leaving in five minutes." Onyx grumbles and goes over towards Ama.

I grab my pack and pack it full to the brim again. I make sure to bring more bandages in case the birds or a tribute find us.

I look up at the sky and notice the sun is already high in the sky as if it is midday, but it is still early in the morning. It's probably going to be unusually hot then. I think the arena is going to mess up my sense of time after all the gamemakers are in control of everything.

I tie my jacket around my waist when I finished packing my bag.

"Maybe we'll be able to find some oysters today." Daren says with a smile.

It's strange, Daren seems to be nicer in here than he was in our Capitol suite. This could be part of his strategy, get me to like him so I won't suspect the kill or he might just want to stick closer to someone he knows won't beat him to death. It doesn't really matter I still don't trust him, but out of all the careers he is the one I don't want to die.

"Maybe." I say and half-smile.

"Let's go." Onyx says.

I sling my pack over my shoulder as we all walk east.

When we get on solid ground Onyx has us stop.

"I told Ama we would be back in exactly two days." Onyx says.

I notice how Onyx said this and his body language is off. I get the feeling he doesn't care if we come back in two days.

"Fine." Miracle says. He sounds angry.

"Relax Miracle, I'm sure we will have found loads of tributes by then." Jewel says with a supporting smile.

"We'll probably need more supplies by then anyway." Daren chimes in.

Not me. I think to myself. I still don't understand why they leave so much back at the cornucopia.

"Good just so we understand each other." Onyx says.

I nod.

"Let's go." He says and motions for us to move deeper into the tanish boulder like mountains.

We walk in silence I notice Onyx is watching the ground carefully tracking something or someone. I also notice Jewel is whispering to Miracle. If I had to guess it looks like she is scolding him. I glace over at Daren and just see him walking straight ahead.

We walk for a long time and Onyx swears many times about where everyone is.

I barely notice the thin line of string as Onyx's foot breaks it.

"Look out!" I shout. Onyx looks back at me angrily.

If looks could kill I would be dead. His face soon changes as a bunch of huge rocks tumble down a large hill. They roll down fast heading straight for Onyx. Jewel grabs his arm just quick enough so the rocks didn't crush him to death.

"Stupid gamemakers." He mutters.

I roll my eyes and kneel down to look at the string. The knot is familiar and something they showed during training. I suspected a tribute left this trap and not the gamemakers. Onyx doubts tributes that don't know how to use weapons. It's why he doesn't think much of me.

"What is it 4?" Miracle asks me.

Miracle looks angry. I think he was hoping Jewel would let the rocks crush him and honestly I wouldn't have minded that either. Onyx is the type of tribute who wants to die in a bloody battle and have him being crushed to death gives me some sort of satisfaction.

"A tribute made this trap." I say.

"You can also tell because the way the rocks fell isn't natural." Daren says.

"Whatever." Onyx says annoyed.

"It must mean we are close to someone." Daren says.

"They could've left that trap hours ago." Miracle says.

"Well at least we are headed in the right direction." Daren says.

"He's right, we should keep going. We can all drink and walk." Onyx says. "Annie you take up the rear this time, it seems you are able to spot things easily." Onyx says.

"Okay." I say.

I only noticed the trap right before he stepped on it. Me being far away isn't going to help anyone especially since it is starting to get dark out.

We walk for a few hours and it is getting hard to see. I can barely see Daren in front of me.

"I think we should stop and make camp." Jewel says. I can barely see her.

"Fine." I hear Onyx say. He sounds very far away. I expected him to fight a little maybe he was thinking this as well.

"Annie should start a fire... she is the person who is supposedly the best at fire making." Miracle says. I'm always surprised when he calls me by my name.

"Alright." I say. I don't know if I'm the best but out of all of us I spent the most time at the first making station.

I take my pack off and pull my flashlight from my pocket. I start to search for the matches and fire making kit. When I finally find the matches I am pulled pack by a violent force. I watch the matches fall from the box and feel the rope around my neck.

The male tribute pulls me to the ground. If it wasn't so dark I'm sure one of the others would've seen me get attacked. The tribute pulls me far away from the others. If I was somehow able to get their attention they wouldn't be able to see.

I can feel the tribute behind me pulling tighter and tighter. My hands go for the rope around my neck frantically. I can tell by the texture that this is the same rope I got at the cornucopia. I won't be able to break through this rope with my hands.

I can hear my heartbeat in my ears and feel all the blood rush to my face. My lugs are starting to burn.

I'm about to just give up and let this guy strangle me to death, fourteenth place isn't that terrible. I didn't think I would make it past the bloodbath. I'm starting to see black dots everywhere when I remember what is in my pocket.

I reach frantically in my pocket for the oyster shucker. I pull it out and stab the kid in the leg. He wasn't suspecting it so he let go just enough for me to break free. I let the fresh air enter my lungs and it feels like heaven. The guy is still close enough that I can see him. He tries to run away but i grab his wrist making him fall. I get on top of him and start stabbing him with the oyster shucker over and over again. It's in random places, I still can't see very clearly. I don't think the knife is big enough to kill him.

"Stop!" He shouts. I see and feel all the blood running from his body. He will probably die if he doesn't have any bandages and I don't see a pack with him. I don't want him to bleed out slowly. The birds would probably get to him before that would happen and I don't want that to happen. Those gamemaker birds eating him to death would be more painful than bleeding slowly to death.

I can hear the footsteps of the others starting to come this way.

I don't want him to get eaten alive by the birds. I make a choice that I will say is an act of mercy. I slit his throat and watch the blood seep out. The dark ruby liquid spills down his neck like a waterfall. He puts his hand over the wound but it is no use, he is going to bleed to death... he is going to choke on his own blood.

I get off of him and watch him struggle as he chokes on his blood.

I can see the flashlights from the others now.

"Annie." I hear Daren say frantically as the boy's cannon goes off.

He reaches me first, then Onyx.

"Annie." I hear Daren say again.

"He's dead." I say softly.

"Way to go Annie. I didn't think you had it in you." Onyx says and pats my head like I'm a small child.

"You're bleeding." Daren says and opens his pack.

I look down and see blood on my clothes and body.

"It's not mine." I say as Daren is cleaning off the wet ruby liquid. My voice sounds hoarse, like I'm a chain smoker. I wonder if the kid did any permanent damage to my windpipe.

"The others have to see this or they won't believe it." Onyx says laughing.

"Why are you laughing?" I say.

"I never thought _you_ would be able to kill someone." He says and chuckles again. "Guys get over here." Onyx says loudly.

"I though so too." I say softly to myself. It was much easier killing someone than I though it would be. I know he tried to kill me, but I could've let him run off. I think I took his only weapon and it didn't look like he had a pack or anything else. I could've let him go but I didn't want to and not just because he tried to kill me. It was because I viewed him as someone in the way... someone in the way of my freedom.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten **

The tribute I killed was the only face that was shown in the sky tonight. When Onyx told Miracle and Jewel that I killed a tribute Miracle thought it was hilarious as well, but Jewel seemed unamused.

Fourteen left. I think to myself.

I shiver under an emergency blanket as the night grows colder. The fire doesn't help much. I expect it to snow, but it doesn't come. It never snows back home, I've only seen it through the screens of the television during the Hunger Games. I always wondered what it felt like, snow looks like a soft powder and cotton falling from the sky. The only way I would see snow in person would be because of the Hunger Games.

I adjust my pack that I am using as a pillow. Jewel is currently taking watch, but I know I won't be able to fall asleep. Not because I am in a death arena, but because I keep thinking of the person I killed. I'm grateful it was dark enough that I could barley see his face, the way he moved and begged though and the burning in my throat and ringing in my ears isn't helping.

_BOOM_

The sound of the cannon has me bolt. I grab my flashlight and flash it in all directions.

"Jewel." I say not bothering trying to stay quiet.

"It wasn't me." She says. I look around the campfire anyway, maybe someone walked off. I could see Onyx doing something that stupid, but they are all there, still sleeping.

"How can they sleep through that sound?" I ask.

"It wasn't that loud Annie. I wonder if we should leave, the killer could be close." She says.

"They could've died from something else. I'm assuming those traps we ran into are all over the arena." I say.

"I guess." Jewel says unsure.

"Besides, I think someone would've come by now, the smoke from our fire gives us away." I say.

"Maybe." She says.

There could be other alliances out there. I doubt there are any as big as ours, but who knows one year a couple of the lower level districts teamed up. They didn't hunt down the careers, but they were probably big enough to take at least one down in a surprise attack. I can't remember how they died, it happened when I was much younger so the details are a little fuzzy.

"I don't think we should stumble around in the dark either." I say.

Jewel sighs and sits next to me. She puts her hands out near the fire to warm herself.

"You can take watch now." Jewel says. She hands me one of her throwing knives and starts to settle in near the fire.

I nod it's not like I will be able to fall asleep tonight.

I open my pack and take out the rope I brought and start to make a monkey's fist knot. I made a hangman's knot earlier, however, I left it tucked away in my pack. It's too big to fit in my pocket, but the monkey's fist I can keep in my pocket to use for self defense. It probably wouldn't have helped when I was attacked earlier, but it will help if a tribute comes running after me.

I'm sitting there trying to make out what is around me when a parachute lands next to me. I open up the silver package and see what we have all wanted; night vision goggles. There are two pairs probably one for me and one for Daren.

What the hell am I supposed to do with these? I think to myself.

It will be obvious that I got sent these from my mentors and who the hell knows how Onyx will react to this. He will probably threaten me to taken them, maybe they want me to run away. If they wanted that they should've only sent one pair for myself. I get the feeling this is something Oscar would do. He didn't like spending that much time with me and this will help get rid of me or maybe there is a tribute near by and one of them wanted me to see better. Wouldn't they send just one pair then... maybe they just don't want the target on me. I wish mentors would be allowed to send notes with parachutes. I understand why they can't, the mentors might give us unfair advantages of what is going on outside and inside the arena.

I walk over to Daren carefully and shake his shoulder.

He jumps up baseball bat in hand.

"It's just me." I say softly and motion for him to follow me.

"What is it... did someone attack?" He asks.

"No, but someone died." I say.

He nods.

"Did you wake me up just for that?" He asks annoyed.

I shake my head.

"We got a parachute." I say and give it to him.

"Night vision goggles." He says.

"We only got them?" He asks. He sounds just as confused as I do.

"I guess." Then it crosses my mind that maybe Jewel got something when she was guarding alone.

I don't know much about sponsoring. When I asked about sponsors I was only told to get people to remember me. I don't know if there are rules for sending gifts or how it works, maybe there is some sort of twist that has to do with sponsors.

"I think we should tell the others." Daren says carefully.

"I don't know." I say.

"We are working as a team Annie." Daren says.

"Onyx will kill us." I say.

"Not if we share." He says.

"Not if we _give_ them to him." I correct. Onyx won't want to share something this valuable. We either give it to him willingly or he kills us for them.

I could run away. I think to myself the time was probably going to come soon and I did kill a tribute by myself. I have enough supplies and with Jewel's knife I have a weapon. It's still dark too which would be a more ideal time to run off.

"If we hide them from him what do you think he will do when he finds out?" Daren asks.

He's right if we hide the glasses from him and he finds out he might kills us then too.

I sigh.

"I think it was Oscar always with the bad timing." I say more to myself.

"Why not Finnick or Mags?" Daren asks. I get the feeling he likes Oscar more than I do. Daren did spend more time with him than I did.

"I just have a feeling Oscar would want me to-" I start but Daren cuts me off.

"He doesn't want you to die Annie." Daren says.

I'm not so sure. I think to myself.

"I think it was Finnick." He says.

"Why?" I ask curious.

"I think he wants us to run." Daren says.

"That crossed my mind but-"

"He's not stupid Annie the others probably would've gotten something too by now. I don't know how sending gifts works, but I'm pretty sure the others could afford these by now." Daren says.

When I don't say anything he sighs.

"Finnick told me to trust my instincts and mine are telling me to leave." Daren says.

Finnick told me the same thing. I think to myself.

"I thought you didn't want to work together." I say.

"That was before the arena, I just didn't want you to know all my strengths. Besides, after seeing you kill someone I think you can hold your own." Daren says. "We can go separate ways if you don't want to work together." He adds.

I sigh. I'm not going to have another enemy wandering around the arena with me.

"Fine." I say reluctantly.

"I'll get my stuff." He says.

I wonder how much stuff he has. I wonder if he is just trying to get me alone to kill me. I wonder if I should just go off by myself.

It starts to get lighter when I hear thunder. It's loud enough that it will be able to wake the others.

"Let's go this way." He says softly.

I nod and follow him.

We are probably a mile away from camp when it starts to rain down in sheets, the raindrops hurt when they hit my skin. It's hard to see in front because it is raining so hard.

Daren grabs my wrist and pulls me forcefully to the side.

"We can stay here." Daren says. He pulled me to an overhang where the rain won't be able to hit us. He leads me further until we reach a cove like structure. It's like he knew where this was.

"We can make camp here." He says and drops his pack.

"There's water." I say. It's a small pond that could probably evaporate easily, but it is there for now. It's hard to see the exact size because of the rain, but I'm hoping it will last for awhile.

He nods.

"Did you know where this place was?" I ask.

"Lucky accident." He says.

I nod but don't believe him. He didn't have a chance to look at the arena by himself and I don't think the others have been in this area, but it's like he knew where to find this place.

"We could probably stay here awhile, this place isn't to find and with the coverage we are still able to light a fire." I say.

"Maybe." He says carefully.

"What's in your pack?" I ask him.

He smiles.

"I packed it to the brim just like you." He says. He opens it and we start to go through the things we have. If we ration our food carefully we can easily last a week. Sure we won't have a full belly, but we have enough food to survive. We will have to be careful with medical supplies though he didn't grab anything. I hope there is fish or oysters in that small puddle like pond.

* * *

A few days have passed since the rainy day and Daren and I are still in the cove like structure. The small pond like puddle did have oysters in it, but it seems the pool gets smaller and smaller each day. While we have been here no one has died. I get the feeling the gamemakers are probably planning some type of attack to draw us together.

From watching past years after a few days with no deaths something unexpected happens to draw tributes together; a fire and mutts are usually used.

"I think we should leave." I say.

"Why?" Daren asks confused. "We have shelter and water here Annie, and it is in a conspicuous spot we could stay here until..."

"Until it is just you and me." I say finishing his thought.

He shrugs.

"The gamemakers won't let that happen Daren. There hasn't been a death in a few days... they are going to try and drag people together." I say.

"I say let them come then." Daren says nonchalantly.

I sigh.

"You can go off if you want Annie." He says. He doesn't sound angry like Onyx or Miracle would've, actually they would have killed me by now, but he sounds sympathetic.

"I think we should set up some traps then." I say.

He agrees and we start to set some traps near the entrance.

Daren sets up some snares that he learned in the training center. He makes sure to attach some sharp sticks on the end to hurt the tributes. I set up some rope traps that will catch the tributes and make them unable to move. The only problem is this cove only has one entrance and exit. If we need to leave in a hurry all those traps will be in the way and we could die.

"How long do you think this will go on?" Daren asks me after the traps are set up.

"What do you mean?" I ask as I slurp down an oyster. He could mean the games, our alliance, this shelter, or our lives.

"Our alliance. I mean I don't really want to be the one that kills you." Daren says calmly.

"I don't want to kill you either." I say.

"I couldn't face the District back home. I wouldn't be able to face your family." He says.

I nod.

"We should leave each other when it gets to final eight." He says.

I nod.

I want to ask him what will happen if we are the only two left, but know it is useless. If we are the only two left he will kill me. I won't be able to beat him in a physical fight. I think I might be able to outsmart him, but the final two is almost always a violent bloody end. Like every other alliance in this place it is just temporary, but it feels weird to discuss it out loud.

"Final eight." I say as a cannon goes off, thirteen left.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

"I think you might have overreacted Annie." Daren says with a smile.

I roll my eyes. It's only been a few hours since we've set the traps. I still think the gamemakers are going to throw someone are way. It's been too long with no deaths for them not to drag tributes together. Besides, they probably want us out of our hidey hole as well.

"I'm going to keep watch tonight." I say ignoring his comment. We haven't really been keeping watch at night anymore. We are being careless by how safe we think this place is.

"Do whatever you want Annie." He says with a smile and tosses me my monkey's fist. "I was never good at making those knots. I got bad grades in knot tying and sailor classes." Daren says.

"I do the best in those classes. They're my favorite, I think it is mostly because we get to be outside." I say and tighten my ponytail. I really don't want to get personal with Daren. The less I know about him the better. I don't want to know Daren if I have to kill him no that's not it, I don't want to know Daren because I don't want to be emotionally handicapped by his death.

Daren looks at me, maybe he wants me to say more. We have been in the cove for a few days and barely speak to one another and I'm alright with that. As long as he isn't trying to kill me I'm alright with silence.

He heads down to the pond that has been getting smaller and smaller. I wouldn't be surprised if it disappeared tomorrow, if they want to smoke us out getting rid of our water supply would be the best way to do it.

I start a fire as the sun starts to go down and Daren comes back over before it gets completely dark. He could grab his night vision goggles if he wanted to stay down there, but it's obvious he wants to turn in.

I grab my night vision goggles.

"I'm going to head in if that's alright with you." Daren says and heads back to me.

I nod.

"Wake me if you want to sleep." He says.

I nod.

* * *

I hear a loud thud and open up my eyes. I don't even remember falling asleep.

"Wake up." I say and shake Daren.

I walk over to the noise with a flashlight and see one of the tributes entangled in my net. It's a small child with dark brown hair and she's skinny like she hasn't eaten in awhile. She didn't lose all that weight in the arena she must be from a lower level district.

"Please don't hurt me." She cries out. I can see tears glistening on her face.

I don't say anything I don't even move. I turn my back when Daren gets closer and her screams get louder. The cannon goes off and her screams die in the cool night.

"We should probably go, I'm sure they heard her screams." Daren says.

Not my first thought, but if he wants to leave than I'm all for it. Like I said I'm with him until the final eight.

I nod. He starts taking down our traps as I get our supplies.

I try to ignore the blood on the trap the little girl was in.

"Let's go." He says and puts his night vision goggles on.

I nod. I wonder where he wants to go. It's the middle of the night and I doubt people will follow the scream. Then again there hasn't been a kill in a few days, I'm sure Onyx will take any lead he can find.

I watch my feet carefully as we walk through the dark night, I wouldn't have agreed to leave if we didn't have the night vision goggles. We keep walking and walking I'm wondering when he will want to stop.

I notice a pile of dead roots and plants spread on the ground. They look out of place because there are no roots or plants in this area. There are only in a few places mostly near the dam.

"Daren." I say and grab him by the jacket pulling him back.

"What?" He asks confused.

I touch my foot lightly to the pile of plants. They fall to the ground revealing a big hole with sharp sticks pointing towards the sky. If you would step on the trap you would end up impaled to death.

Daren looks me up and down almost like he is debating to push me in.

"How do you notice those things? I mean you noticed the trap earlier with Onyx." Daren says.

"I'm just careful where I step. There is a smart tribute here that likes to set up traps,we should be careful where we step." I say. I'm curious to know which tribute is making all these elaborate traps.

He nods.

"I think I hear something over here." I hear a familiar voice say. It's Jewel.

"Put that back." Daren says referring to the dead plants.

I comply following his train of thought.

"In case someone else doesn't have sharp eyes." He says and smiles.

"There _they_ are." Jewel says as she comes into view. She looks pissed and the way she said 'they' makes me think the career pack has been looking for us. I'm surprised they are angry about our leaving considering they didn't seem to view us as valuable. I notice she has night vision goggles as well. I wonder how long it took them to receive goggles.

Jewel is charging after us. She must not have seen the trap, she is probably too focused on us. She falls right into the trap. I can hear the sharp sticks impale her body.

I expect a cannon but one doesn't come.

Daren grabs my wrist.

"Run." He says and starts dragging us in a different direction.

A cannon goes off and I'm assuming it is Jewel's, that trap was designed to kill.

We keep running for a while. I wonder if the other careers are chasing us down because of Jewel's death. I wonder if they just left her to die. I wonder how long it will take before they find us, and they will find us.

Daren starts slowing down, but before we come to a complete stop we run into someone, literally. I fall on my back while Daren and the other tribute stumble back. I notice it immediately starts to get light out as we come together.

When I get a good look I recognized it is the girl from 7. She watched me at the knot tying station instead of the trainer. I wonder if she remembers me. She had a talent for throwing axes. She never missed a target during practice and she scared me. I wonder if they left her an axe at the cornucopia and the others just didn't notice. I wonder-

Before I can finish my thoughts she hammers down her axe on Daren's neck. It's like she is chopping through a thick tree, I wonder if that is her job back home. It only took one clean swing for Daren's head to fall from his shoulders and his body to fall back onto me. The hot thick blood is dripping all over me. I start screaming I don't know if it is from fear or the disgusting feeling of Daren's warm blood pouring on my face and neck.

I grab the knife that was clipped on his belt and roll him off of me, the wetness of his blood is all over me.

"Your turn now 4." She says with a smile. I twirl the knife in my hand before it all goes dark.

* * *

When I come around I see two bodies near me, both are lifeless; dead. I look away when I see that Daren's doesn't have a head.

Daren is dead. I think to myself

It's like I see it all over again in slow motion, his head fell from his shoulders and rolled to the ground then his body landed on my spilling blood and god knows what else onto me. I don't really remember what happened next. All I know now is that I am covered in blood and standing over the girl from seven with a knife in my hand. She's been stabbed to death and her face is full of scratches. Her head is still attached to her body so that is something. I don't even remember killing her.

I move my blood colored hand over my face and into my ponytail.

I killed someone and can't even remember it.

My knees collapse no longer able to hold my weight. I throw the knife to the ground and fall on my back. I just want to lie down, I don't care about the slick blood on the ground.

I lie on the blood soaked ground unable to move. The blood is seeping into the ground being absorbed like a plant that hasn't been watered for weeks. I can feel the blood falling into my ponytail and sliding down my neck but I can't move. I know sitting out in the open is dangerous and that I am meant to move away from dead bodies but I can't move. Even breathing is hard... everything is hard.

I close my eyes and try to block out the world. I try to block out the sound of this arena. For a moment I pretend that I am lying on the beach in a sunny day back home. I imagine the dampness is not blood but sparkling sea water. I can hear the gulls and sounds of boats coming into the marina. The busy sounds on a District 4 beach are calming. I wish I was there. I would be happy to die right here thinking of home. I have almost made up my decision to be perfectly content to stay here and die when I hear the demonic screech of those birds.

Shit. I think to myself and bolt up.

Those birds are attracted to blood and human flesh. I would rather face Onyx than get eaten alive by those birds. I am almost completely covered in blood. I hope none of those birds come after me.

I grab all the packs and start to run off. I can hear the birds getting closer. I can tell there are more now.

_Run faster Annie_. I can hear my Father's voice in my head. Every day he would make me run five miles with a bag full of rocks on my back. He wanted me to be fast. I think he wanted me to be able to run fast because he knew I wasn't the best with weapons and wouldn't be able to kill easily. Well, he was right about the first part. He timed me each day and the average was usually a six minute mile.

However back in 4 I wasn't covered in blood and carrying three backpacks.

I hope the birds don't follow me. There is practically a feast waiting for them with two dead bodies. They shouldn't want to come after me, unless they like the hunt. A few catch up to me and the screeches are louder than I remembered.

I try and push them away but can feel cuts form on my arms from the talons. I feel one of the birds take a deep bite of my flesh. The feeling feels so strange that I don't even notice the rock in front of my foot.

I trip and start falling down a giant hill. I can feel more scrapes form on my body from the harsh rocky terrain. I hope I don't hit my head on a rock and die. When I finally stop falling down the hill I am flat on my back. I lost one of the packs on the way down.

When the world stops spinning I feel a white hot pain on my right shoulder.

"Ouch. Ouch Ouch." I say and move my hand to my shoulder. It feels messed up and hurts like a bitch. As more time passes the pain gets stronger. It hurts when I move it which I barely can do. I don't think it's broken. There's a word they used in the training center when talking about injuries. It started with a 'd'.

"Dislocate." I say aloud after many minutes.

I remember the man saying it was hard to put it back in place by yourself.

"Fuck." I say and run my hand through my hair.

I think the trainer mentioned putting it in a sling would help, I _think_ anyway. I went to that station only once, but a lot of the treatments were the same. A sling was mentioned a lot.

I go through the packs, thankful the one with all the medical supplies was on my back. The pack I dropped was Daren's and the girl from 7 didn't have a lot. She had a small canister with water, something that looks like jerky, a sleeve of crackers, and a sleeping bag.

I start swearing when I can't find a sling. The pain is getting worse with each move I take.

"Give me something." I say looking at the sky. I hope my mentors can send me something. I hope I have enough money for something, anything that will help. Things are probably very expensive now but it's not like I have been given many gifts.

I might not be that popular. I think to myself.

I rub my forehead with my good hand. I could make a sling with the gauze bandages I have but I have new cuts and one of the birds took some of flesh leaving a deep gash.

I know I can't just sit here. I think to myself.

After a few minutes I come up with an idea.

I take off my shoes and knee high socks. I can use that to put on the deep gash. It might not be the most hygienic option but I don't see much of anything else I can use.

I put bandaids on the small cuts, I know it won't be very helpful but I'm not going to leave them uncovered. It's hard to do everything with one hand. I use both of my socks to cover the deep gash on the back of my left leg courtesy from the birds. It was hard to treat the wound because it is on the back of my thigh. Not only do I have a bad look at it but I only have one arm to treat it.

I take off my belt with some effort and use the gauze and belt to make a pretty sorry excuse for a sling. I think I did alright considering the supplies I had with me.

My arm feels a little better but I still feel a shooting pain. I wish I had some type of pain pills.

I sigh and get a look at my surroundings.

I sit on the ground and cross my legs. This hill is high up enough that I can get a decent look at the arena. I don't think I will be able to find the cove by myself. It was a sweet little haven that is now gone for me. I look through my supplies and can tell I will run out of water soon. I am close to the cornucopia, but I can't tell if anyone is guarding the supplies. I know Onyx and Miracle are out here and I can't go up against them with my arm. Even if I wasn't hurt I wouldn't be able to go against them.

I'm not that far from the dam either. I could go there for more water. After all, I don't think the gamemakers gave us water in most places. However, that runs into the problem of finding someone and getting killed. The gamemakers may be cooling off the arena but without water I will still die from dehydration.

The sun starts to set as I think about my options. I didn't mean to stay here all day or during the night. I look back at the hill I fell down and see it is a steep walk down. I don't think many people would come down here willingly and if I cover myself with my jacket I shouldn't be easy to spot.

I lean against my pack and try to go over today's events. Jewel is dead, the girl from 7 is dead, the small lower level girl is dead, and Daren he's...

I close my eyes and shake my head even thinking about Daren is hard. I didn't even know him, but the way he died...

I shiver hoping if I make it through this I will forget about his death easily.

I can tell my hair is matted with blood and am pretty sure I wiped some blood on my face. I have a huge blood stain on my shirt on the back and front. I can feel the dry blood on my skin and in my hair. When I look at my hands I know they are stained blood red. I could use the water I have, but I don't want to waste it. I wish it will rain to wash some of the blood off. I probably look like a crazed killer.

Aren't I though? I mean you can't even remember how you killed that girl and it looked violent.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve **

I awaken to the sound of a cannon. So many deaths in so little hours, I bet the gamemakers are going crazy with joy.

There were 13 tributes yesterday and now there are only 8. The final 8.

I have been forced to watch the Hunger Games for years and I thought if I would be in the game I would never make it this far. I don't know if I should be happy or sad that I made it this far. I know some of it is luck, alright most of it is luck. If I didn't have Daren with me then I think I wouldn't have made it this far. I'm not saying that I am useless and Daren carried me here. I know survival skills and am good at hiding and running, plus I did kill someone. I'd be able to live off the land mostly. I think knowing that someone else was with me made it easier. Now it's just me by myself. I'm not stupid though I saw the glances that Daren gave me every once and awhile. I could tell he was debating if he should kill me now, even after our promise. I am not 100% sure that Daren would've honored our agreement to not attack each other until the final eight. But, I can't blame him I was just one more person in the way to his victory.

I hear trumpets go off.

Now what? I think to myself.

"Attention tributes! Attention tributes! First of all a congratulations for making it to the final 8!" A familiar voice shouts. It sounds like Caesar Flickermen. "For a reward we will be offering a feast. It will take place at the dam and begin at first light. Each item there will have something a tribute is in dire need of. I repeat the feast will take place at first light at the dam. That is all may the odds be ever in your favor."

I sigh.

There is no doubt in my mind that something for my arm will be there. I am a fast runner so if I get there first I might be able to make it out alive. However, I've seen how skilled Miracle is at long range weapons and he is probably upset that Jewel is dead. He might even blame me for it. I guess he isn't entirety wrong, but I didn't make the traps she fell onto.

If I want to go to the feast I should probably start heading that way. It would probably take a few hours but I will get there in time. Everyone else is probably going to the feast. I wonder if I will be able to survive it. My injury makes me more likely to die in a fight but if it is only a sling at the feast for me it will be useless. I wonder how long I'm allowed to hang back before all the supplies vanish away.

I can hear Finnick telling me to trust my instincts. My brain is telling me to head elsewhere, maybe I could try and look for the cove or go to the cornucopia to see if I can get water there. However, the pain in my arm is telling me to go to the feast.

I try and think who is left. Myself, Onyx, Ama, Miracle, girl from 10, boy from 8, the skinny red headed boy, and I can't remember the other tribute.

I shake my head. Stay away from them Annie. I think to myself.

I doubt all the careers would come to the feast, someone will have to stay behind to guard their supplies. I know Onyx will be coming to the feast. I don't know how well Ama healed up so Miracle might go with him. I don't know enough about the others to compare my skills.

"Maybe I should go to the dam." I say softly.

I shake my head.

"Maybe not."

I can practically hear Oscar's screams of disappointment when I say this. I don't know what Finnick and Mags are thinking, but I wish I knew. I need water and I need to fix my arm... or at least try to.

I can't think it over all night. The gamemakers have been messing with the dark and light hours so it is questionable when first light will actually take place. If I want to go to the feast I should leave now.

I run my hand over my ponytail. If I'm going to die I might as well go out guns blazing. Besides, if Onyx is the last person standing I know he will be able to kill me. I'm not strong enough to kill him. I may be smarter, but hand to hand battles happen so quickly that I probably won't have a chance to come up with a plan. I don't want Onyx to kill me because I know he won't be merciful about it. He would take pleasure watching the light fade from my eyes.

I sigh.

"To the feast." I say and start heading in the direction of the dam.

It took me a lot longer to hike down the hill than I estimated. I was afraid I was going to fall down and hurt myself. I have never been known to be graceful and the rocks aren't helpful.

I'm not all that great with direction and the compass was in Daren's pack which I dropped when I fell down the hill. I think if I follow the sound of the water I will be able to find it. Usually the feast takes place at the cornucopia so I'm surprised that they chose the dam. There have been a handful of times when they hold the feast at some notable landmark, but that is not normal.

Maybe lots of people need water. I think to myself. I know I need it and I get the feeling I can't be the only one. I haven't seen much water in the arena and I think that is a poor design choice the gamemakers made, but maybe it was intended for tributes to conveniently run into one another. Either way it is inconvenient.

* * *

After who knows how long I can finally see the dam. The sky is starting to get lighter and I'm starting to wonder if first light means sunlight or if it means gray sky. Either way it doesn't matter since I am here and will see the supplies appear.

In the distance I see a perfectly placed table with a spotless white table cloth. It looks very out of place in the arena. I'm sure once the first streak of light appears our items will appear magically thanks to the gamemakers. I hang back because I know people are already close to the dam. I've heard footsteps across the way and they are much closer to the dam. I'm sure Onyx is already here and probably a few others as well. I stay hidden behind my boulder though, like I said earlier I wonder how long the supplies will stick around on that table.

I sit here for around an hour and decide to take off my make shift sling. I don't want the other tributes to know how badly I'm hurt, they will just look at me as an easy target.

When I see a streak of sunlight hit the table perfectly the bags appear with our District number on them. I'm about to start running when the ground starts to shake.

An earthquake, now?! I think to myself.

I sit back down and hope nothing crushes me to death. I don't remember learning anything about what to do during an earthquake. I cover my neck and face hoping that if something hits me I will be someone what protected.

Out of nowhere a high squealing noise rings out. I look up and see it is coming from the dam, which is about to burst open. I can see a small steady trickle of water leaking out of it already.

This was an accident. I think to myself. No way the gamemakers dragged us all to the dam just to break it. They wanted a good clean fight been tributes not a drowning match. Someone screwed up, a mistake that will probably get them killed.

I get up and stumble around from the earthquake. I'm trying to put as much distance between me and the dam. I know for a fact that the force of the water rushing out will be able to kill someone.

The shaking stops, but it doesn't matter it is too late. There is a distinct loud screeching sound of the metal breaking then the rush of the water gushes out. The dam breaks open like a cracked egg. All the water spills out immediately and two cannons follow shortly after. Whoever it was, was probably too close and the water crushed them or possibly a piece of debris fell on them. The water keeps coming and it doesn't take long for it to reach me. The current is strong and the water is ice cold just like before.

The cold water makes the throbbing on my shoulder go down but every other part of my body is screaming for warmth. I wouldn't say it is like being stabbed, but it does have a painful prickling feeling. It doesn't take long for the water to reach my neck.

I hear another cannon go off. I wonder how many of the tributes left know how to swim. Even if they did the current is so strong that you would have to be familiar with the water. You would have to be from District 4. I'm glad I took off my sling before, it hurts like hell to move my arm but if I did have it on, it would be much harder to swim.

I can't see anyone around me. There is a chance not everyone went to the feast but four people died soon as the dam broke. I think the water is going to flood this whole arena eventually. The water is ice cold and with this temperature I could die from hypothermia within the hour. I should try and get to the dry land that is left, if there is any.

_BOOM!_

2 people left in my way. My fingers are starting to go numb.

Keeping swimming... keep swimming...

_BOOM!_

I would float on my back but the current is too strong.

It's getting hard to think... hard to breathe...hard to move. There''s a ringing in my ears and I wonder if I am going to die. I'm assuming Ama is still at the cornucopia and I don't think that area would be flooded by now. I can't tell though and with the water I can't tell which direction to look.

Keep swimming... keep swimming... keep swimming. I keep chanting to myself.

I hear a loud noise and something that sounds like a trumpet. A muffled voice is shouting something when my head goes under the water.

* * *

I open my eyes and feel heat all around me. My arm is in a proper sling and I have an IV in my arm and stickers stuck on my chest. I'm soaking wet but feel absolutely warm. I'm not in my arena outfit. I'm in a scratchy white garment that is used in hospitals.

I look around and see I am in a reflective room with no door. I get a bad feeling in my gut, I feel trapped.

There is a distinct beeping noise that starts getting faster. I think it is my heart rate, maybe that is what the stickers on my chest are tracking. They do have wires that are connected to a machine that shows squiggly lines in tune with the beeps.

I see my reflection. I've lost weight and there are dark circles under my eyes that makes me look like I haven't slept in a decade. I'm still soaking wet but can tell my hair hasn't been brushed. Even though I was in the water I can still see blood on my face.

I try to lift my arm up, but see I am restrained to the bed.

I sigh and feel more frightened.

Is someone going to attack me, torture me? The beeping gets faster again.

I look down at my arms and see my wounds have much better bandages and my shoulder doesn't hurt as badly anymore.

I hear a swishing noise and then a woman walks through wearing a white outfit, even her shoes are a perfect white with no dirt on them.

"Where am I?" I ask as the woman comes closer. She starts to adjusts my IV. "Am I in the Captiol... the training center?" I ask. My mind is hazy and I am having trouble processing new thoughts. I don't know if it's from the IV or drowning. That's right I was drowning.

"How did I get here?" I ask frantic.

The woman doesn't say anything. I expect her to ask how I'm feeling or what hurts but she does nothing. She just messes with my IV.

"Did I win the games?" I ask frantic. It sounds stupid but I don't remember an announcement or congratulatory trumpets. I don't remember how I got in this reflective room either.

She nods.

I sigh at least she answered one of my questions.

"Am I in the Capitol?" I ask again but nothing. "When can I leave this place?" I ask.

Still nothing.

I'm starting to wonder if this woman can speak, she may be an Avox. However, I don't think they would let a so called traitor take care of the newest victor.

"Can I talk to my mentors?" I ask and start to feel drowsy. She must have did something with the IV

I mumble something about home when I pass out.

* * *

It's like this for multiple days. I ask questions and she doesn't answer.

I wasn't allowed to eat anything for awhile, just the proteins from my IV. I finally got upgraded to broth and a glass of orange juice today, maybe today anyway. I can't tell if I've been out for a few hours or days because of the drugs they give me.

They got rid of my restrains after a few days, maybe they thought I was going to attack them, which seems unlikely considering the drugs keep me asleep for hours.

My shoulder feels almost completely better. The most surprising thing is all the cuts from the birds that I'm sure were going to leave scars are gone. They gave me an IV that had some strong smelling yellow liquid and then everything started to fade away. My skin looks perfect and shiny, it's like I'm a new person. I wonder if they are trying to make me picture perfect.

God I hope they don't make me look like an idiot. I think to myself.

I know the tributes aren't shown properly to the public for awhile. Sometimes it is a week, sometimes longer. I always assumed the victors were just injured and needed time to heal. I'm starting to get the feeling they want to make the victors look picture perfect.

* * *

I've finally worked my way up to a smoothie when a different woman comes in with an outfit bag. She zips it open and places the outfit on my bed.

I move back in the bed as I see the outfit waiting for me. It's the same outfit I wore in the arena. Well not exactly the same, the sweat and blood stains are gone and the shoes aren't dirty. It looks brand new, the same way it looked when I rose into the arena.

When the tribute is reunited with their mentors they wear the same thing they did in the arena. I guess they want it to appear that we just got out of the arena and are thrilled to see our mentors. However it should be obvious to everyone watching that this was filmed after. My injuries are gone and my skin looks perfect. I'm sure it's been days, but I can't tell because there are no windows in the room; just shiny reflective walls.

I don't want to put that outfit on again. I don't want to see that outfit again. I'm glad it isn't covered with the blood stains but still I don't want to be seen in that outfit again.

Someone comes back in and takes out the needles and stickers. I assume this means I need to put the outfit on now and run to my mentors. When she leaves I can hear voices in the hall that I can't completely make out. Some of them sound vaguely familiar. I think it is Libra's shrill voice.

I put the stupid outfit on and can feel myself trembling. I try not to look at myself in the shiny reflective walls but catch glimpses. It just makes me think of myself in that sandy hell.

I shake my head and can feel my eyes prickle with tears.

I grab the hair tie and put my hair in a too tight ponytail. I double knot my shoes and can hear the door unlatch. I guess I am deemed well enough to leave. I push the doorless wall open and am engulfed with bright light. Everything is white and smells like disinfectant. I wonder if I am in a real hospital.

I can see my entourage down the hall. I can also tell there are cameras in the hallway. I doubt I am in a real hospital then.

I don't run like other tributes do. I walk slowly to them. I'm not showing any emotion. I don't even have tears to hold back. I'm sure I look dead inside.

When I reach them Libra pulls me in for a tight hug. For someone who thought so little of me I'm surprised he cares so much. He could just be doing this for the cameras.

"Oh Annie I'm so proud of you. I always knew you would be my star." Libra says.

No you didn't. I think to myself. He even said he wouldn't bet on me, not that I blame him, I wouldn't have either.

I pull away from him but that doesn't stop him from kissing my cheek.

"You're alive." Oscar says in that same annoyed tone.

"Yeah." I say softly.

Finnick looks at me strangely before he plasters a smile on his face. His arms wrap around me unexpectedly. His lips are at my ear and I can feel his breath on my face.

"Try and look happy." I hear him say so softly that I'm sure no one else did.

I want to ask why but know I can't. Am I really supposed to act grateful to the Capitol citizens? Why should they care it's not like I was supposed to be the winner. If the dam didn't kill all those tributes and I wasn't the best swimmer Onyx probably would've won.

I let go of Finnick and back away. I smile but instead of looking happy I'm sure I come across as crazy.

"Let's go we have much work to do." Zen says and we all go to the elevator.

Zen is talking about my interview outfit, apparently my outfit is magenta and strapless.

"What day is it?" I ask. I have no real sense of time. The arena messed up my days and the stay in that room did as well.

"Wednesday." Oscar says curtly.

Did he bet against me or something? I think to myself. I know he didn't care for me but this is a little disappointing. He could at least pretend that he likes me until we get home.

"You were in the arena for fifteen days." Finnick says. That is what I was really asking.

"It felt longer." I say more to myself.

"The gamemakers made the illusion of time moving by how they controlled the weather. Most people notice when days are no longer 24 hours." Oscar says.

The only time in there to me was day and night. Yes I noticed the days were longer than the night but I'm sure that's not the only reason it felt longer.

"How long was I in that room?" I ask.

"You were in the recovery room for a few weeks. They had to make you look pretty again." Oscar says and smiles.

I nod.

Once we get to the 4th floor I throw my jacket and shirt on the floor and stalk off. I don't want to wear that outfit any longer than I have too, even if that means taking it off in the common room.

I can hear Zen shouting for me but don't care I've given enough of my time to him. I just need to be alone away from anyone else.

I throw the rest of my outfit on the floor and lie on my bed in my underwear. The bed feels too soft. There are probably clothes in the drawers but I don't care. I just need to collect my thoughts and be away from people, people from the Capitol. Even though I was in that reflective room for a few weeks I don't think I have fully processed what has happened yet.

* * *

I open my eyes and see it is dark, pitch black.

Did I really get out or just pass out from the cold? I think to myself

I hear a tap. I grab the letter opener that was on the desk and pick it up for self-defense.

Onyx and the others must be tracking me because of what happened to Jewel.

I hide behind the door. When the door opens I stab the person in the foot with the letter opener.

"Jesus Annie." I hear a familiar voice it sounds like Libra.

I push them out of the way. I want to run, not kill. I don't want to kill anyone ever again.

I run out to the common room and it is so bright. It's nothing like the pitch black that was in my room, but the feeling is still there. There's too many people in the common room for me to attack, but I am a fast enough runner to head for a different room.

"Annie clam down." Finnick says carefully and walks one want step closer.

"Stay away." I say and hold out the letter opener. It's a pathetic excuse for a weapon, but I can see that Libra's blood is on it.

"Calm down you're not in the arena." Someone says gently as I wave the letter opener around.

"Didn't think Annie would be a tribute to go attacking people afterwards." Oscar says.

"Shut up Oscar." Finnick says angrily.

"Don't let her get on the elevator." Libra says as I start to run past them.

Finnick grabs my arm easily stopping me.

"Let go of me. They're going to find me, they think I killed Jewel." I say.

"You're not in the arena Annie. You made it out." Finnick says. He sounds worried. He manages to get the letter opener out of my hand even though I am fighting him. I don't know why I bother Finnick is much stronger than me and I am not fully recovered yet.

It takes awhile for me to comprehended the words Finnick and the others are saying to me.

"You made it out."

"You're not in the arena."

"You're in the Capitol."

"You get to go home."

"You stabbed my foot Annie."

I notice that no one is telling me I am safe. Am I no longer safe even though I am a victor? Are people going to come after me now because of my status?

"You made it out Annie." Finnick says for the umpteenth time. I wonder if I am annoying the others when I finally grasp what they are saying.

"Made it out." I say and stop fighting Finnick. I've scratched at his arms and kicked him multiple times. I'm surprised he hasn't let go yet. He stopped just holding me by the arm and now has his arm securely wrapped around my waist. I'm surprised I can move at all by his grip. "Made it out." I say again and lean on Finnick. He's supporting all of my weight now that I stopped fighting him. I can feel the tears spill from my eyes.

They aren't happy joyous tears though, they are sad tears thinking I am the only one left alive. Then I think of Daren, but instead of seeing his face I see his headless bloody body on the dry ground.

"Daren." I say. I'm sobbing at this point and don't know if anyone understood what I said.

Finnick picks me up and takes me back to my room. I wonder if he could've done this before, maybe he knew it would make things worse. He sits on the bed and puts me on his lap like I'm a child.

I don't stop crying for a long time. I think Finnick tried to get up multiple times but I don't really care. He's rocking me back and forth and making shushing sounds like soothing a baby.

After what seems like hours Finnick lifts me up and puts me on the bed. I can see the tear stains on his shirt. I'm still crying lightly.

"You need to get dressed and Zen needs to work on your dress." He says gently and wipes a stray tear away. "I'll get Mags to sit with you." He says. He rubs my forearm before leaving. His eyes hold sorrow, something I never thought I would see in Finnick Odair's eyes. I wouldn't have expected him to calm me like a child either. Finnick is much nicer than people give him credit for.

I sniffle and stand up to put my robe on.

I can feel my face suddenly grow hot as I realize I was sitting in Finnick's lap wearing only my underwear. I guess it doesn't matter I was running around trying to attack people in them, I attacked him.

I slide the robe on, I'm not going to bother getting dressed if Zen is going to fit me for my dress.

Someone knocks on the door softly before walking in. It's Mags just like Finnick said.

She smiles warmly at me.

"Hello Annie." She says softly and takes a tissue to clean up my face.

I wonder what Finnick said to her. She takes her time touching me or walking towards me and I know it's not just from old age. She's being careful around me. I don't think I would try and attack an old woman, then again I didn't think I would attack Finnick and he could easily hurt me. I think Oscar would have hurt me. I wonder what would've happened if I got on the elevator like Libra feared.

"I didn't even know him." I say softly referring to Daren. The only thing I knew about Daren was that he was bad in sailor classes and was a decent liar.

"I know but it still hurts." She says.

I wonder how many tributes she has mentored and seen die. I wonder if she remembers all of their faces.

"I keep seeing him lying there bloody and headless." I say and can feel a new round of crying about to start.

She puts her hand on my good shoulder and smiles at me.

"Everything will turn out okay Annie, for now you just need to take things one at a time. Your goal for right now is to let your prep team make you up."

Cedar and Penny. I think to myself. I haven't seen them since the parade, Zen was the only one I worked with after that.

I nod. I think I can handle that if they don't mention Daren and the tributes I killed.

"Will you stay with me." I say softly.

"Of course Annie, I'll stay with you as long as you like." She says and smiles.

I nod and wipe a tear away.

Stop crying. I think to myself. That will be another goal for right now.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

"They did a full body polish on you!." Penny says loudly. "It makes your skin look so shiny and fells so smooth." She says and runs her cold pink fingertips on my arms.

I'm guessing this has something to do with why I no longer have any scars or other imperfections on my body. After taking closer looks I've noticed scars I got when I was young are gone. I got multiple scars from fishhooks, I was a clumsy learner. I didn't get those in the arena so that foul yellow liquid must have something to do with it. A full body polish must get rid of scars or other imperfections. My skin is softer than it has ever been before.

Cedar sweeps my hair off my shoulders and starts to cut it.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

"Just cleaning up the ends. It's good to see you again Annie and congratulations on your win." Cedar says in a deadpan voice. He sounds bored like he wants to be anywhere else.

I nod.

Penny and Cedar start chattering away about what they liked about the games, what they didn't, who their favorite player was. I wasn't surprised when they didn't mention my name.

"No offense Annie but that ending was dreadful." Penny says annoyed as if it is my fault. I didn't start an earthquake that broke the dam and flooded the arena.

"I was looking forward to the feast and was genuinely surprised when you said you were going." Cedar says.

Well, I can't blame him there I am still surprised I chose that. I wonder what would have happened if I went to the cornucopia instead. I wonder if the water ever reached the cornucopia.

"Were your friends disappointed as well?" I ask. I want to hear more about average Capitol citizens. Libra and Zen are part of my 'crew' and I don't know how much they are allowed to reveal to me.

"Yes." They say at the same time.

This adds more proof to my suspicion that the dam breaking was an accident, you don't have to be pretty high up on the latter to riddle this out. I'm sure it has crossed more than one persons mind. Why would they call for a feast just to drown all the tributes, and doing this almost guarantees me the win.

I'm not sure how well liked I am, but I don't think I am the person the citizens or gamemakers wanted to win. I'm thinking it was Onyx, but my radar could be way off. He was pretty self-righteous and had an anger problem. However, lots of tributes from 2 are like that and almost all of the victors from 2 are revered. There is a female who got her teeth filed into fangs because she won by ripping out the other tribute's jugular.

I don't think I will get any body makeovers with my winnings. I still want to look normal. I don't think any of the living victors from 4 have done anything. Oscar seems to like Capitol life, but I don't think he approves of how silly they make themselves. I wonder if Capitol citizens find what we wear is silly after all they come from a different lifestyle.

"I had one friend who loved you though Annie." Cedar says while applying blush to my face.

"Really?" I ask surprised.

He nods.

"After you killed that girl from 7 she seemed to become very fond of you. I don't think you will find many others with that infatuation, you were a little boring." He says.

I can't remember how I killed the girl from 7. I just remember coming around with a bloody knife in my hand and the girl stabbed multiple times with scratches on her face. I would assume the scratches were from animals but I didn't see many animals in the arena.

I hope I can get the mystery solved by watching my recaps.I think to myself.

After the games are over the victor has a closing interview with Caesar. The victor discusses how they felt after they won and what they think their greatest accomplishment was among many other things. After the questions, they watch an edited version of the Hunger Games that is generally only a few hours. They edit it to tell the victor's specific story or the story they want to tell. I've seen edits of the underdog, backstabber, ruthless killer, masterful manipulator, excellent hider, among many others.

The edit when it is a hider are always interesting, since the highlight reel is meant to show the victor's greatest hits, watching someone hide for numerous days won't exactly make for compelling TV. They show the victor hiding but focus on the others more. Even though they edit it to tell a story it still is a recap of the games. In my case it will be fifteen days smashed into a few hours.

The down side to this though is I will be reacting to it live. I might start crying again and if it is anything like before I don't think I could stop. The newest victor isn't supposed to look weak, they are supposed to be headstrong. Some of the victors even cheer watching themselves murder someone. I don't know how I will answer Caesar's questions either.

"Don't cry Annie, you'll mess up your makeup." Penny says annoyed.

I didn't even realize I had begun shedding tears.

"Zen told us to use the waterproof makeup." Cedar scolds.

"You should take a break." Mags says softly.

Penny rolls her eyes and Cedar just leaves.

"I'm fine." I say.

"I know." She says and smiles. "What were you thinking about?" She asks.

"How to stop myself from crying during the recaps." I say.

"You'll be able to do it Annie." She says

"Do I even have a choice?" I ask softly.

"You can do it." She says instead.

I wonder how much trouble I would get into if I started crying on stage.

I nod.

Zen bursts into the room and pulls my dress out of the outfit bag.

It's strapless and magenta like he stated earlier. The skirt is made of tulle and has shades of magenta and pink. There is a wide white ribbon that ties in the back making a bow. The top is covered with gems and is very sparkly. I know when I am on the stage I will shine like a million diamonds.

"I need to make adjustments from all the weight you lost in the arena." Zen says and waves me over.

It doesn't take long his estimates weren't far off. He walks around me in circles multiple times to make sure everything is perfect. He fixed up some of the makeup, apparently he thought Penny and Cedar put too much on.

"There, you look stunning! You should come out to show the others." He says.

I nod.

"Let's see a smile Annie." Mags says gently.

Right I'll have to smile in front of the big crowd, I might as well practice now.

I do and it feels wrong and I'm sure looks very fake, but I've never been good at hiding my emotions.

I step out of the room and Libra starts gushing about how beautiful I look. Oscar doesn't even look up from his book, Finnick smiles at me softly, and Penny and Cedar smile at the completed look.

Zen walks off to talk details with his team. I can tell he is scolding them for applying too much makeup.

"Yes, yes she looks very pretty." Oscar says and walks towards me. "I got something for you." Oscar says and shakes a pill bottle. "You should take one."

He opens the bottle and pulls out a small yellow pill. Finnick is looking at Oscar with disapproval.

"What does it do?" I ask.

"It will make you happy, just in time for your interview." Oscar says with a devilish smile.

I look to Finnick and he looks pissed at Oscar. I assume Finnick thinks this is a bad idea, but to my surprise he begrudgingly nods.

I sigh and take the mystery pill from Oscar. He walks off with a look of victory in his eyes.

Finnick comes over with a glass of water.

"What does this really do?" I ask Finnick.

"It helps keeps people calm." Finnick says.

"Why do you seem so mad then?" I ask.

"It's illegal and dangerous. It's not like anti-anxiety drug, but it does make you feel... happy I guess." Finnick says.

"Then why have me take it?" I ask him.

"Because it will help you with your interview and stop the crying." He says.

I nod.

"If you feel dizzy or sick start drinking water."

"Why?" I ask.

"Side effect is dehydration." He says.

"Okay." I say slightly worried.

"I suggest you try and ignore the screens when you can... especially when Daren's death comes up." Finnick says.

"I actually want to see that." I blurt out.

"Why?" Finnick says loudly. He sounds angry and confused.

"I don't remember how I killer her." I say softly.

"The tribute from 7?" He asks and I nod.

Finnick sighs deeply. I can tell he feels compassion for me, but he is also worried.

"Don't scream when you see it." He says.

"Why would I scream?" I ask nervously.

"When you see yourself doing something out of character, like murder, you can react irrationally."

"Was it bad?" I ask softly.

It looks like he doesn't want to answer.

"Finnick." I push.

He sighs.

"You killed someone of course it was bad." He says.

"You know what I meant." I say slightly angry. He is making me more worried though. Did I turn into a raging lunatic? I do remember I had lots of blood on my hands, I just assumed it was from Daren.

"You did get blood all over yourself from stabbing her so many times. The scratches you saw on her face were from your fingernails... you did it after she was dead." Finnick says.

"Oh." I say.

"I recommend looking away. It will just make your memories, your nightmares worse." Finnick says gently.

"But-"

"I'm still your mentor." He says more firm.

"You also said mentors were like guides and that I didn't have to listen." I say.

"You should listen this time. I'm serious." Finnick says.

"I just can't go through life without not knowing how I killed someone. I killed her Finnick, stole the rest of her life. I need to know how I did it no matter how brutal or calm it was."

Finnick sighs.

"Are you feeling better?" He asks.

"Relatively." I

He nods and I notice the scratches I left on his arm.

"I'm sorry I attacked you." I say and point to his arm.

"Don't worry about it you were just... confused. Once you're home things should become easier."

"I hope so, I don't want to attack people just because it's dark."

"You won't." He says gently. I don't know if he is just saying it for my benefit or he actually believes it.

"I just.. don't want to feel trapped in that arena forever."

"I need to get changed." Finnick says and walks off. Something about this statement made him upset.

* * *

"Okay last looks everyone." Libra says with glee.

Everyone is dressed in Capitol clothing and has at least some hint of magenta on their person. Before my interview with Caesar everyone in my crew gets lifted up on stage to get cheered on for their work. When the victor wins everyone involved gets the recognition in what they do. Zen and the prep team will be interviewed as well discussing how he made my outfit and the inspirations that came behind it. The mentors get to give a few wise words about what they thought of my strategy and then it is my turn to be interviewed. I wonder what Oscar will say about me. He may decide to not speak, which I am okay with.

"I'm so very excited." Libra says. He did his eye makeup in magenta. I will admit I like the color of his deep magenta nails, it goes well with his sickly pale skin.

"I'm sure you are." Oscar says and rolls his eyes.

We all get on the elevator and are taken down to the stage. We get escorted to an area that is beneath the stage. There are tree pillars that will rise up, just like in the arena. The first one is for my stylist and prep team, the second is for the mentors, and the third is for the victor; me.

I can hear the sound of the audience clearly, it is filled with excited chatter probably about me or the games.

"Just step right here Victor Cresta." A backstage worker says and motions towards the platform. He has to help me on it because of my lack of coordination. Zen insisted that I wear eight inch heels for this occasion. I think the silver color goes nicely, but I wish they weren't this tall.

I can feel sweat on my palms as I step on the platform. It's not exactly like the ones they used for the arena, but it is close enough.

I close my eyes and breathe in and out deeply.

You just have to get through this and then you can go home. I think to myself.

The happiness feeling from the small pill better kick in soon. If not I don't know I will be able to survive this.

"Ready in 5." I hear someone in the background say and open my eyes.

Cheerful music starts followed by loud cheers. Caesar Flickerman gives opening remarks, he gets the audience's attention easily by his jokes and banter. He knows his audience well. The cheers get louder and the first platform with Zen, Cedar and Penny rise, next is the mentors and the cheers are louder, and finally my platform starts to rise. I receive the loudest cheers out of all, it isn't surprising after all this is supposed to be about me.

I wasn't told how to act and didn't think to act so I just smile and wave. I start to feel a little giddy. I blow kisses to the crowd and smile like a child.

Once Caesar is finished will all the others they call for a commercial break.

The lights die down and the others walk off in different directions Zen and the prep team go down a staircase on the right of the stage. I wonder if they have more interviews to do. Some of the stylists become very famous after the games. They all want to wear designs from the person who made clothes for the newest victor. I don't know if that will happen to Zen. I know I wasn't the top pick of tributes to win.

I see Mags and Oscar head for their seats in the audience and Finnick is headed towards me. During the interview Caesar implied a few times that the only reason I won was because I had such excellent mentors. I won't deny that their words of advice helped me but I did do a few things by myself. I mean they weren't in the arena when I killed those tributes. I had to do that by myself and although it was a lot easier than I expected I am still the one who killed two people.

When they mentioned my death tally they added a few people who drown. I don't know why, maybe my kill count wasn't as high as they thought it should be.

Finnick walks over to me and takes my hand.

"Thought you could use some yelp." He says and looks down at the shoes.

"Thank you." I say. There is a chance I could fall, I probably would fall flat on my face.

"How are you feeling?" Finnick asks me. He starts leading us to a different set with a couch, armchair, glass coffee table, and a large television. It looks like a comfy room you would see in the average house. Well a Capitol house, you wouldn't find a television or furniture this nice back home.

"I feel great." I say and smile. I'm not even lying the stuff they gave me must have finally kicked in.

He nods.

When we get to the couch Finnick helps me down because of how low the sofa is.

"Annie." Caesar says like we are old friends. His teeth are much whiter than I remembered. He takes my hand and brings it to his lips. "Congratulations, you certainly surprised me with your win." He sounds genuine, but he could be lying

"I'm sure I surprised a lot of people." I say and smile.

Caesar looks at Finnick carefully.

"She's fine." Finnick says.

I'm not 100% sure what the silent conversation was about, but I get the feeling it was about me. Did Caesar get told I tried to run away and attack my mentors? He doesn't seem too worried.

Finnick and Caesar start talking like they are old friends. Finnick has known Caesar for at least five years so, they are probably friends of some sort. Caesar is talking about his house renovations. Apparently, they ordered the wrong kitchen tiles and the installation will hold up one of his yearly parties.

I'm just glad they aren't talking about me. When he starts talking about his outside deck someone comes over to put more makeup on his face.

"I should get going it's always nice to see you Caesar." Finnick says and Caesar nods.

Finnick looks at me.

"Good luck Annie and remember what I said." He says to me softly.

I nod. I'm still going to look at the screen though.

He smiles and walks off to find his seat next to Mags and Oscar.

"I'll start with a few easy questions Annie before the recaps and afterwards depending on how you're feeling I will be asking more in depth and personal questions. Mostly in regards to your future as a victor.

"Okay." I say. I wonder what he means by how I'm feeling, maybe if I start crying during a commercial break I will get out of the hard questions.

"One minute." Someone shouts.

"Don't be nervous it will be just like your interview before the games." He says and smiles.

I was nervous during that interview as well but he does change topics when he knows the tribute will have a hard time answering.

"Okay." I say and smile weakly.

Someone starts to countdown and the lights get brighter making my dress sparkle like crazy.

The same cheerful music plays and Caesar does a quick recap of what happened for new viewers.

"Now here she is, our newest victor ,the victor of the 70th Hunger Games, Annie Cresta!" He says with a smile. The cheers are so loud my ears start ringing. Honestly, how can these people care so much about me. I wasn't even supposed to be the winner.

"Congratulations Miss Annie." Caesar says and sits across from me.

"No thank you Caesar." I say and smile.

"So tell us Annie what was it really like in there?" He asks.

"Well, it was very hot." I say and gain a few chuckles. "But more seriously it was an interesting experience to explore a place that wasn't like home and working with the other tributes was also a new experience that I will never feel again."

"Speaking of other tributes, let's talk about your allies."

"Yes, let's." I say.

"You seemed to run away a few nights in, what was going through your mind then? You were with very skilled tributes with high training scores." Caesar says with a smile.

"After getting night vision goggles it seemed dangerous to be with the others when they didn't have any, that's why Daren and I decided to run off together." I say.

"Yes, you did." Caesar smiles. "What would you call your relationship with him?" He asks.

Ugh. I think to myself. I hope he isn't implying that I had a crush on him. We barely spoke to one another in the arena this answer should be obvious.

"I barely knew him, but he was a good ally to have in there." I say sadly.

"Well, everyone it's now time to enjoy all of it again and see events you might have missed." Caesar says with a smile and laughs "Everyone, it's time to enjoy the show!" Caesar says and the lights start to dim.

The Capitol sigil shows for a few moments before the countdown clock is shown. I look just above the screen so I don't have to watch the bloodbath unfold. The edit they went with is diamond in the rough just like Finnick wanted since I stepped on the train.

The first hour goes up to Daren and I leaving the others and finding the cove. Once the careers saw we left they were angry... well Onyx was angry that we pulled one over on him. Miracle and Jewel didn't seem to care. I'm surprised Onyx is so mad considering he didn't view us as big threats. They all got night vision goggles shortly after they realized we were gone. Not all the careers killed everyone someone died from dehydration and others got caught in the traps set up by the District 9 female tribute. I am impressed, they don't teach you how to make all those traps in the training center and she manged to set them up all over the arena. I wonder if she had some sort of responsibility like this back home. Other tributes were also attacked by the demonic birds, someone got eaten to death.

During the time Daren and I were in the cove they focused on the careers. Onyx talked about hunting us down because we betrayed him. They didn't leave anyone at the cornucopia to guard their supplies so I could have gone their for supplies instead of the feast.

Well, I guess it doesn't matter I am still alive. I think to myself.

When Daren and I leave the cove I run my hands over the soft plush fabric of the sofa. This has been the moment I have been waiting for, to see myself kill someone, to figure out how I killed someone.

Once Jewel is dead they cut to the place where Daren died. I guess showing us running isn't very exciting. The girl from 7 was tracking people for awhile, unfortunately it was an old path the careers had made.

I turn my head not long after she got on screen. I see myself screaming and turn back to watch. All the blood drains from my face and I'm sure I look pale white even with all the makeup. I knew Daren's bloody body fell on top of me, but seeing all the blood drip from his would and onto me is a disgusting and disturbing sight to see.

Finally we get to the point where my memory went blank.

I pushed Daren's body off me and found the knife the girl threw at us before. I managed to tackle the girl to the ground and started fighting for control. I used my nails to scratch the girls face up. I was able to gain control and straddle her.

"Do it." The girl says.

I guess I was reluctant, but it didn't stop me.

I stabbed her many times and continued to even after she was dead. The splatter of her blood got on my face and hands. I didn't realize how many times she was stabbed. When I looked at her in the arena, it didn't look like there were so many wounds.

This is definitely something I would call overkill. When I finally got off her I started muttering to myself. I leaned over the girl and stared scratching her face for some reason. I can't make out what I am saying and neither could the editor because the captions reads "incoherent." I wish the scratches on her face were only from the fight.

Finnick made it sound like I took pleasure in the kill so this is much tamer than what my imagination came up with. I'm glad it wasn't as bad I thought it would be, but it is still bad.

"Let's have a commercial break before the final battle ensues!" Caesar says with a smile.

"Don't cry you'll ruin your makeup." Caesar says gently.

"Back in 30!" A worker yells.

I touch my face and it feels wet. Someone rushes over to wipe my face, they are careful not to smudge my makeup. I'm glad Zen wanted waterproof eye makeup.

I wonder if this is an unscheduled commercial break so citizens can't tell I was crying.

"It's almost over and then a few simple exit interview questions." Caesar says with a smile.

I wonder when they cut off his mic so the others couldn't hear. I wonder if this has happened before, maybe I am not as pathetic as I think I am.

The show comes back and the feast is announced all of the tributes deiced to go. I can't tell what everyone needs but the red headed boy has cuts all over his body, my best guess is an attack from the birds.

A lot is cut from the finale, they don't show the feast table or the dam breaking. They show the earthquake and water coming from somewhere. You can hear the cannons go off but not how those tributes died. They should make it less obvious that this wasn't the way the games were supposed to end, but that is not my problem to worry about.

I start to sink into the water when the announcement is made. The water was so cold that maybe hypothermia had started to kick in. I had so many heating blankets around me when I first woke up in that reflective room.

The Capitol sigil shows again and the lights slowly get brighter.

Cheers erupt from the crowd congratulating their new victor and the end of this years 'celebration'.

Caesar has to silence the crowd before he can start asking me questions.

"And that is how a victor is crowned." He says with a smile. Cheers follow his statement. I smile and wave awkwardly. "Now let's get to know more about our newest victor."

"Of course." I say.

"Firstly what do you plan to do now that you're a victor?" He asks with a smile.

What do I plan to do? I think to myself.

"I don't know, I usually live in the moment." I say and smile weakly. The only answer I can think of is go back to District 4 and try to forget this happened.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

"Ouch."

I groan and rub the back of my head. I fell off the bed during my nightmare. A nightmare of Daren,for someone I knew so little of he haunts my dreams most nights. I considered learning more about him, maybe talking to his family but changed my mind after realizing they wouldn't want to see me. I'm here and their son isn't. He died and I'm alive. I wouldn't say Daren died protecting me but if he wasn't there with me I would be the one who got their head chopped off.

The ceiling in my new house starts spinning and I feel sick. I know I fell on the floor from a nightmare and am honestly happy for it. Banging my head is better than screaming myself awake.

The first week back I screamed so much that my throat went raw. It's not just nightmares that haunt me it's every day activities. I get afraid when it is dark, I turn on every light in my house to hide the fear, but it doesn't help. I can't be in big crowds anymore and sometimes star screaming for no reason.

I get confused and sometimes after I wake up from a dream it is hard to tell which reality I am in. I haven't run around in my house thinking Onyx and the others are after me but sometimes it's hard to grasp where I am.

I don't like sitting on the beach as much, the sand reminds me of the cornucopia and extremely hot days makes me paralyzed with fear if I go outside.

The images of Daren and the girl from 7 flash through my head. Both of their dead bodies drenched in blood.

I make it to the bathroom just in time to puke my guts out. It isn't bad enough that those pictures haunt my dreams each night but to think of it while awake is more torturous.

It's been 3 months since I got home and it hasn't gotten better. I hate my life now. I wonder if dying feels this bad.

The clock on the wall reads one in the morning.

I start to feel like I'm going to suffocate. I open my window and lean outside it letting the cool ocean breeze hit my face. It feels much better this way.

I go back in and decide to go sit on the outside deck. This house is bigger than I need or probably the average citizen needs. Five bedrooms with king size beds, 7 bathrooms; 5 full baths, one study, one free room, a kitchen that has every appliance imaginable, a kitchen table that can fit 12, a living room with a couch that can fit 10, a front porch to stare at the hideous fountain in the middle of victors village, a back porch to stare out at the sea, and a lovely garden in my front yard.

The garden isn't so bad but everything else is too big and too fancy. I don't live with my family even though they wanted to move in. It wasn't for the luxuries it was to keep an eye on me but I don't want that. My screaming would wake them every night and I don't want that, I don't want to worry them. There are talks around the District that I am losing my mind. Honestly I think they might be right.

I grab a blanket from the cupboard and head downstairs. I need the fresh air. I flip on the porch light and open the back door.

I sit down in one of the red wooden patio chairs and wrap the blanket around me.

I look out at the ocean waves and breathe deeply. I can feel myself start to calm down.

I wish I could be normal once again. I wish I wasn't walking through life in a haze now. Everything is amplified my sorrow, my pain, even in those rare moments when I'm happy... it's all too much.

Daren haunts my dreams each night. The most frightening to date was when he was still alive but was carrying around his bloody head. He could talk and everything, it reminded me of something out of a scary story.

The most recurring nightmare I had before was when my teeth would fall out. I would be brushing my teeth and when I rinsed out my mouth a bunch of my teeth and blood came out. Out of curiosity I would touch one tooth and be able to pull it out. I would keep spitting teeth and blood into the sink. I always woke up when my last tooth fell out with blood pooling in my mouth. I would rather have that nightmare than one of Daren and his decapitated body any day.

I move my tongue over my teeth making sure they are all there.

I lean my head back in the chair looking at the ugly roof tiles.

What do I do now? I think to myself. I've wondered this since I got home. Everything in my old life is gone. I don't have school anymore, not that I would be capable to go. Large crowds and unexpected noises frighten me to no end. Besides, some of the students would fawn over me because I'm a victor. I don't live in my same house. I can't sleep and sometimes eating seems pointless.

I need to find some type of vice but nothing catches my interest for long. I tried tying friendship bracelets but ended up making too many. I would finish a whole spool of yarn by the end of the day. It got so bad that my fingers would start to bleed. I was obsessed and needed something else.

I tried fishing. I even paid some of the townspeople to make a nice sturdy cleaning table for me. I caught probably a dozen fish the first day but when it came time to clean them I couldn't do it, the blood. Finnick had to do it and I don't know what he did before he was a victor but he clearly needs practice.

I figured I could try my hand at making clothes. I was able to stitch up holes and make cutoffs before I won. However, I was terrible with the dimensions. Finnick and my friend Luna were my models. I would stick them many times as well. Next was trying to cook but I ended up burning almost everything. They didn't even accept the food at the shelter. Then it was jigsaw puzzles, volleyball, rock collecting, running, even just catching fish was impossible.

I'm running out of things to try. Mags said she would teach me how to crochet. She has bad arthritis so I don't want to bother her with it. I'm sure I could figure it out myself anyhow. I could try painting or drawing or even reading. Maybe if I read I could get lost in a different world instead of my own.

"Hey there." I hear and flinch at the sound of his voice.

"Finnick." I say.

I look up and turn towards him. He's shirtless and wearing plaid pajama pants.

Why the hell is he awake at one in the morning and why the hell is he shirtless? I think to myself.

Finnick is one of the more handsome victors and with the golden skin and perfectly toned chest it isn't hard to deny. I think his best feature are his sea green eyes though. In the right light you can see flecks of gold in them. He's more than pretty though. He is a genuinely good person. I don't care if the rumors of him being a womanizer are true either. That's his own businesses and none of mine.

He lives next to me and is very nice and kind. He's easy to talk with. However I don't know if it's because he feels bad for me or if he actually cares about my well being and wants to be friends. I don't care either way, I like talking to someone else who has been in the games and no way in hell am I going to talk with Oscar.

He steps out on his back porch and leans against the side of his house. His sea green eyes sparkle even in the low dim porch light.

"You can't sleep either." I say.

He shakes his head.

"No, I like looking at the stars and this is the first clear night in awhile." He says.

It's true we're getting to that month where the sky is mostly overcast. I'm glad sailors no longer use the stars as navigation guides, people would get lost easily.

I think of my Father and brother. I gave them some of my winnings so they could no longer work on the shipping boats. I'm glad because it can be a dangerous job and the quota of fish the District needs to catch just went up. I can tell the peacekeepers who go on the boats as guards are getting itchy for something. The peacekeepers in town don't attack or get involved with the townspeople. The only memory I have is one getting rowdy when the local bar ran out of his drink of choice.

"It's one in the morning." I say.

He shrugs.

"I figured they would be brighter this late."

"Okay." I say and look back at the sea. I can't tell if he is lying or not. That is one thing about Finnick I think I will never be able to tell. It's been 3 months and still reading his moods are hard.

"Are your nightmares getting worse?" He asks and walks towards the railing.

"Let's just say I'm glad I live alone so I don't wake everyone up with my screaming." I say.

It took a couple weeks for my home in victors village to get set up so I had to stay in my parents house. The place I loved so much felt wrong after winning. I didn't like it anymore because something didn't feel right. I didn't feel right, the place I grew up in has now outgrown me. I didn't belong there anymore. I didn't deserve to be there anymore. I wanted to stay there with my family but after the first night back I knew I couldn't when I woke up screaming myself awake.

It was the nightmares that made me feel like I didn't belong. I thought they would go away once I got off the train, once I came back home, but they didn't and I still scream myself awake.

I know I made them worry, my Mother most of all. I overheard her saying to my Father one night that I wasn't her daughter anymore, not the one she said goodbye to. Honestly, she isn't wrong there's something wrong with me and I don't think I will ever be the same Annie I was before I left.

"If I tell you it will get better would you believe me?" He asks and smiles.

"No I wouldn't." I say harshly.

Mags told me it would get better in the Capitol, but I still scream myself awake 3 months later. At least I don't attack people after nightmares, but it's still bad. My thoughts become muddled and it makes it hard to do anything. I close my eyes and cover my ears to try and get my thoughts in order. I can't tell if it helps. I try to do it only when no one else is around but sometimes I can't help it. I hear the demonic birds screech when I get nervous and no matter how hard I put my hands over my ears the sound won't go away.

He swings his legs over the porch railing and walks onto mine.

"You won't have them every night eventually." He says and stands in front of me.

"Eventually." I say and scoff.

"I'm down to twice a week." He smiles like it is a joke. He told me he had nightmares on the train ride home. I think it was because I kept waking up the whole train every night. I didn't believe him and still don't believe him, he's too happy all the time. He always has a smile on his face. Sometimes it is annoying and I think he is faking, maybe it is some sort of self defense mechanism. You wouldn't think someone who smiles all the time is in pain. If it is, he is very good at hiding his problems.

"You should drink chamomile tea, it helps keep you calm."

I nod.

"Is it still about Daren?" He asks in a more serious tone.

I shrug.

"Half the time I can't remember, I just scream myself awake. Sometimes I wake up with tears on my face. When I can remember though it's Daren and the arena. I can't be around oysters anymore without feeling fear. I don't like any birds even annoying seagulls. " I say.

"I can't be around roses anymore." He says.

I don't remember roses in his arena. Why would roses be in a swamp?

Another mystery about Finnick I might never solve.

"I'm afraid to go to sleep." I whisper.

"You shouldn't be, you can't get hurt in your dreams." He says.

"Not physically." I mutter and look off to the distance.

"Annie." I hear.

Finnick is waving his hand in front of my face.

"What?" I ask.

"You were staring off into space. It's like you were looking at something."

"I'm fine." I say and tuck a piece of hair behind my ear.

He raises one of his eyebrows. He doesn't believe me. What the hell am I supposed to tell him that I hear and see things that aren't there. He would think I'm crazy. Hell I am crazy.

"You know you can talk to me whenever Annie. I'm good at listening and I don't judge." He says.

"Yes you would."

"Try me." He says.

I sigh.

"I hear them. " I say and avoid his gaze. I stare at the ocean instead.

"Hear what?"

"The birds their demonic screeches. I get nervous and it's just there." I say.

"It's not real Annie." He says.

"I know, but it feels real at the time." I say harsher than I meant.

"Pick a word."

"What?" I ask confused.

"Pick a word to focus on and then the next word that comes to mind. For example the word... yellow." He says looking at my sleep shirt which is a blazing yellow color. "Sun comes to mind next. Sun then reminds me of the sky. Sky reminds me of clouds. Then rain... then the sea... then a boat. Once you get the chain going it's easier to pull yourself out of the hallucination."

"It sounds stupid." I say.

He rolls his eyes.

"Just try it once before you say that." He says.

"Do you do this kind of stuff?" I ask him.

"Not anymore."

"It's hard to focus on anything but the birds." I say.

"Try and focus on something else. It might seem impossible at the time, but it is possible." Finnick says.

"It's so real though."

"It's no-"

"Saying it's not real doesn't help Finnick. I just need to see that it isn't real." I say softly.

"Then try the word chain."

"Okay." I say softly.

"Asking someone doesn't hurt either."

"That will make me feel crazy." I say.

"You're not crazy just..." He pauses trying to find the right word, "traumatized."

"I think I would rather be crazy, I don't think I would hurt this much if I was crazy." I whisper.

"Maybe." He says carefully.

I look into his green eyes it sounds like he wants to say more.

"What?" I ask.

"Nothing." He says and shakes his head.

For once I can tell he is lying, but won't bring it up.

"You good?" He asks.

"Yeah." I say.

"Good I should get going then." He says with a smile and walks off my porch and onto the sandy beach.

"Where are you going?" I ask.

"My boat, like I said I want to look at the stars and the sea will make them look brighter."

I've seen his boat in the private marina we have in victors village. It's a large sail boat that should be manned by more than one person, but I don't think he is going that far and the water isn't rough. The marina also holds a fancy motorized boat that is Oscar's.

I could buy a boat with all my money I have if I wanted to but I don't really have a desire too. I like sailing and have always wanted to use a motorized boat but I don't want to buy one. I think I would just feel guilty spending it. I already put all my awards in a chest in the living room that I will never open again. The only thing that goes in the chest are things I never want to see again. I causally mentioned to Finnick that I wanted to throw them away and he freaked out saying I can't do that. Something about how it would offend the Capitol citizen which I don't understand because it's not like they live here in District 4.

"In your pajamas?" I ask.

He shrugs.

"It's not like I'm trying to impress anyone. Besides, it's my boat."

I'm sure Finnick would impress many people with his toned chest. I wish he would put a shirt on. Even if you disliked Finnick Odair you could not deny his beauty.

"Goodnight Annie." He says and turns around.

"Goodnight." I whisper.

* * *

"Annie?" I hear someone say downstairs.

I told people don't bother knocking on my door because the sound would just scare me. I keep the door locked during the night, but this does make it easier for people to break in if they wanted to. However, the likeness of that happening is slim. Victors village is a far walk, the only people I have to worry about are, Finnick, Mags, and Oscar. Oscar doesn't even acknowledge my presence when he sees me and Mags and Finnick are friends so I doubt they would steal. If I was going to buy anything it would probably be a car, but there are only a few in the District not to mention I wouldn't know how to drive one.

"What?" I ask walking downstairs hair still wet from a shower.

"I brought you some fish." My best friend-my only friend- says holding up a bag. "They're gutted and everything, all you have to do is heat them up." She says.

I take the bag from her hand and throw it in the almost empty fridge. People bring me food more often than not, I think the word of my terrible cooking got around. I wouldn't starve to death, I just wouldn't be eating pleasant meals. I could always buy already made from the vendors in town. That would require going into town though. Half the reason people bring the food though isn't to make sure I have something to eat, it's to check in on me.

"Thanks." I say with a smile.

She takes my wrist and drags me to the couch.

"I have some interesting gossip that I heard in class today." She says with a smile.

Luna says and sweeps her golden hair behind her shoulder. Luna is very pretty with her green eyes and golden skin. I heard someone say once that District 4 holds the most beautiful people in all of Panem. I can't be sure about it. This sounds like something Libra would say, but I'm positive someone from 4 said this. The only judge would be how the tributes look and judging from that is a poor choice. We are all caked in makeup during before the games and during it we are covered in natural elements and sweat. I'm sure no one looks desirable in the arena.

"What did you hear?" I ask. I've never been one to gossip, but since I have no connections to the school any longer I like hearing Luna pass around the rumors and other strenuous events.

"Rainn Johnson is telling everyone that he kissed you." She says with a smile.

I roll my eyes.

"He kissed my cheek during my goodbyes because he thought I was going to die." I say.

He never saw me after that, for someone who said they liked me since 4th grade you would think he would make some kind of effort. I don't really care about him and the crazy talk about me didn't start until a month after I was back so that can't be an excuse. Whatever it is I am glad he didn't try to get involved with me, I don't think I could handle that.

"I know, that's what I said. I wonder why he is doing this now?" She asks.

"I don't know, it's probably not for popularity because I'm not that desirable." I say.

"Annie come one." Luna says surprised.

"What?" I ask.

"You're a victor now, people will always find you desirable." She says with a smile.

"Unfortunately I think that is true." I mumble to myself even with the crazy rumors I know I am still being praised by some citizens.

"Well, whatever the case may be I could kick his ass if you want me to."

"That's alright, it will probably just add to the rumor, you could always tell him the crazy rumors about me are true." I say.

"Annie." Luna says gently.

"It's okay just say whatever you have to so he doesn't show up on my doorstep." I say.

"Yeah that would be bad, but I'm sure Finnick would beat his ass if you wanted." She says.

I roll my eyes.

"He isn't a violent person Luna." I say.

"I know, but he likes to protect his tribute." She says with a smile.

"I think it is more than a mentor tribute thing. Finnick is my friend." I say.

"Okay." She says and shrugs her shoulders. "I just don't want him taking advantage of you. He has all those women in the Capitol and I'm sure he has the same in District 4."

"mmh." I say to myself. I didn't realize this until she said something, but no one visits Finnick in victors village. I'm not just talking about girls no one does. Even pompous Oscar has visitors. I think everyone Mags knows, besides the victors, are dead but Finnick spends lots of time with her.

I just know from talk around the District that she married fairly young and it didn't last very long because her husband died of a sickness that was going around the District. If this is true he must have been the love of her life, she never found anyone else. The closest thing she has to family now is Finnick.

There are rumors about Finnick's family as well, they all died in the same month. It was already well known that his Mother was sick and dying. His Mom was sick his whole life but it only became well known after he became a victor. His Father died in his sleep, never to wake up again.

"He won't, Finnick is a lot different than you would think. He's not as shallow or self righteous as he appears to be. He's actually really nice and helps me get through things." I say.

"Okay, if that's what you believe." She says with a smile.

"That is what I believe, that's what I know." I say.

"Okay." She says. I can tell she doesn't believe me. I don't blame her she'll probably have to see it to believe it. After all what most people see of Finnick is an arrogant ass who loves women.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

"So much." I say aloud as I'm brushing my thick brown hair.

I remember all the blood that got stuck in my hair in the arena whenever I brush my long dark hair. I don't even like putting it up in a ponytail I'd rather have it fall around my face then be a reminder of the arena.

I wish normal things in my life wouldn't be a type of trigger for me. Not being able to put my hair up because it freaks me out is terrible and a little pathetic.

I can fix it. I think to myself and walk downstairs.

I open one of the drawers in the kitchen and pull out the shiny silver scissors. Might as well make a change that won't remind me of the arena. I've never had my hair very short.

I go to the bathroom and bring the hand mirror. I set it against the basket of fruit to make it stay even. Theoretically I should be doing this in the bathroom, but the kitchen brings in a lot more light in.

I measure it out so it will rest on my shoulders. This is the goal anyways, I might screw it up and have it shorter than I wanted or uneven. I'm sure there will be some way to fix it... somehow. My Mother would be the one to cut my hair, but she isn't here right now and I'm afraid I will lose the momentum if I don't do it now.

I cut the first piece and it falls to the floor.

I should've put something down. This will be a hassle to clean up. I think to myself.

I hear my back door open and chop off a piece of hair, more than I expected, but I can fix it or try to.

It's Finnick.

"Hi Annie." He says with a smile.

"I prefer when people come through the front door." I tease. It isn't a lie though. I'm alright with people just walking in but the front door seems safer to me somehow.

"Sorry, I'll remember for next time." He smiles.

He sets down the ziplock bag on the counter. It's cookies, they are shaped like fish and are a nice brown color. If I had to guess they were made with chocolate and not the cheap kind you buy at the same place they sell vegetables. It's from the bakery, real chocolate.

"Did you make me cookies?" I ask.

He shakes his head.

"Mags' recipe always makes more than she needs. She wanted you to have some." He says.

"Not you?" I ask surprised. She is closer to him than me, then again maybe Finnick doesn't like sweets.

"She already gave some to me." He says.

I nod.

"What kind are they?" I ask.

"Chocolate nut, she makes the fish shapes by hand." He says.

"Was she a baker in a different life?" I ask impressed. I wouldn't have the patience to make cookies that look so nice.

Finnick shrugs.

"Maybe she wanted to do that instead of being a victor." He says. He isn't smiling anymore.

Maybe that is the truth, he would know. Mags is like a family member to him. I'm sure she would've told him what her dreams were before all of this.

"Tell her I say thank you."

He nods. He finally notices the scissors in my hands and the hair on the floor.

"What are you doing?" Finnick asks.

"Cutting my hair." I say and snip off a piece.

"Stop." He says and rushes towards me. "Give those to me." He says and reaches for the scissors.

"What? No, I'm not going to hurt myself." I say and back away.

"I wasn't worried about you hurting yourself, it's just...you're already making your hair uneven and you're using kitchen shears." Finnick says. He sounds very disappointed.

"You sound like Zen." I say.

"You don't cut your hair with kitchen shears." He says and picks up a piece of hair. "No wonder it is getting so crooked." He lets the hair slip through his fingers.

"Again you sound like Zen and Libra." I say.

He rolls his eyes.

"Just let me do it." He says and holds out his hand.

I roll my eyes. I never have cut my hair before.

"Fine." I say begrudgingly.

"I'm going to get you the correct scissors." He says.

"You sound like Zen." I shout as he walks away.

He comes back shortly after and makes sure to come in the front door like I asked. He was all over dramatic about it too.

He brushes my hair with a comb.

"How short do you want this?" He asks.

"On my shoulders." I say.

"Good, if you wanted it longer it would be hard to fix." He says.

He starts measuring and cutting my hair. He seems very skilled at this, not as skilled as Cedar, but still skilled.

"I'm surprised you're doing this right before the Victory Tour." He says offhandedly.

Ah, yes the Victory Tour. To make sure people can't forget the torturous and humiliating Hunger Games they make sure to have a Victory Tour about six months after the victor has been crowned. The newest victor gets to visit every District, make a speech, and then off to the celebration the District has set up. As a normal citizen I always thought it was brutal to make the Districts waste money to throw a fancy party for someone who had killed their children. I feel worse about the situation now that I'm a victor.

It seems like I am going to be mocking them in some way. "Sorry your kids are dead but thanks for the party and rewards I'm sure your District can't afford."

The dreaded speech as well. You're mostly supposed to thank the District for their support of your win. If you were allies with the tributes from said District you might mention how they were a great asset for winning but nothing else. I feel like I will be spitting in the faces of all citizens. It's just another way the Capitol shows how they own us. The victor might have survived certain death but are then made to parade around in fancy outfits, ask for support and thanks even though their kids are dead. God I'm glad I only killed 2 people I don't know how could do this if I killed someone from each District.

The celebration is different in each District. In District 4 after the victor has given their speech they are taken to the beach to have a nice private beachfront dinner. All the other victors attend as well as the mayor. We also give the victor a plaque to show our gratitude and approval. Mine will go straight into the chest I have, never to be seen again.

The Victory Tour starts in your own District and after that it goes from District 12 all the way to the Capitol. The celebration usually lasts a month. It isn't for all the parties, it is for all the traveling. Those trains are fast but not fast enough to do the whole country in a week. It takes one day to get to the Capitol from 4. District 12 isn't close to us so it will probably take a few days to get there. I guess this will give me more time to spend with others. Oscar will have to look at my face once more.

Libra, Zen, Penny, and Cedar will all be with me making sure I look perfect. I need to have a fancy new outfit in each District. I need to look perfect just like I did in the Capitol. I need to look all shiny and new for people, mostly Capitol citizens.

Besides, the speeches and celebrations I'm supposed to show off my talent. Yes, talent. Since victors don't have to work or attend school we are supposed to be working on a special talent. There's been everything to singing from knot tying. I am just going to show off all the bracelets I have woven. I have over a hundred just sitting in my house.

"Zen is going to flip when he sees this."

"Why?" I say and move my hair to the back of my head. "Did you mess up?" I ask

He chuckles.

"No. He just doesn't like girls with short hair."

"It's only above my shoulders." I say.

"Anything above the collar bone he considers too short for ladies."

"Is that a Capitol thing?" I ask.

"No it's a Zen thing. He comments about it with regular citizens and tributes."

"Well I don't really care what Zen thinks about my hair. I just need a change."

"Okay." He says and I can tell he is smiling. "You know some people consider hair cutting the representation of new life or rebirth."

I roll my eyes.

"I don't believe that stuff." I say.

"I figured." He says.

"I just kept thinking about blood in my hair."

"Uh huh." He says. He sounds like he is concentrating hard so I shut up. I think he won't make my hair a hack job, which according to Finnick I was.

"Okay you're done." He says and combs my hair.

"Thank you." I say and look in the mirror.

It's not what I imagined. He took off a little more than I would have liked, but I can still tuck it behind my ear which was the only thing I was really worried about.

"How do you know how to do this?" I ask.

"I cut my Mother's hair and Mags' when she lets me." He smiles.

"You don't cut your hair?" I ask.

"Only Capitol people can touch this hair darling." He says with a Capitol accent and smiles.

"I'm sure." I say with a smile.

I hear the front door open. When the person comes into view I see it is my Father.

"Dad." I say with a smile.

"Hello Annie." He says with a smile. "I brought some fish casserole from dinner last night." He says and places it on the counter "You just need to put it in your oven for about fifteen minutes." He says.

"Thank you." I say.

He smiles and looks at Finnick with the pair of scissors in his hand.

"I didn't know Finnick moonlighted as a hairstylist." He teases.

You would think having Finnick Odair living next to your daughter would bother him, but it doesn't. He likes Finnick and Finnick likes him.

I think my Dad likes Finnick because he knows he looks after me. Those first few weeks I had to stay with my family until my house was ready Finnick took time out of his day to visit me.

Sometimes Finnick didn't even say anything. Sometimes he would just sit next to me. I didn't really want to talk to anyone once I came home. I mostly sat around all day in silence acting like a ghost. Finnick just wanted to make sure he knew I could talk to him.

I eventually did and started acting a little bit like my old self. Well, I was at least talking and not sitting around all day. I think my Dad gives a lot of credit to Finnick. Probably more than Finnick deserves but he is very grateful for him none the less.

"I'm alright at it, but I wouldn't go around charging people for it."

My Father chuckles.

"It looks good on you Annie." My Father says.

"Thank you." I say and twirl a piece of hair.

He nods and notices the bag of cookies on the counter.

"What's this?" He points to the bags of cookies Finnick gave me.

"Mags gave me cookies." I say.

He looks revealed by this statement.

"Good, that's very kind of her." He says.

"Why do you look so relieved?" I ask.

He smiles.

"I thought you were trying to cook again."

"It's not like I burned my house down." I mutter.

"I didn't come here just to drop off food, your Mother wanted to invite you over for dinner." He says and smiles.

Why doesn't she come down here and ask me. I think to myself.

She hasn't visited my house since she helped me move in. When my Dad or brother visit they ask questions she wants answered.

However, I guess the door swings both ways. I've only been back to my old house twice and each time was terrible. It's not that I don't like going home or seeing my family. I just don't like walking there. I have to walk past so many people and there are so many loud noises.

I suggested my Mother could come here to make dinner, but she didn't like that suggestion for some reason. Something tells me it has to do with me winning. She doesn't like coming here to see what screwed up her daughter so bad and I don't want to go back home to see the life I was supposed to have. There really is no middle ground for this situation. One of us will have to cave and I know it won't be me.

The walk to my parents is long too it takes about an hour.

The District is set up into three different parts. There is the place where the merchants live known as the Merchant District. It's where most of the shopkeepers live. The merchants usually have small apartments above their shops to live in. The shops are all over the town square. The people who live here have the perfect amount of distance between the marina and town.

Another place is where the more wealthy people live. There isn't really a name because the houses are spread out all across the shoreline. All the houses have beachfront views and most of them own a small canoe.

Regular citizens aren't allowed to own boats. They wouldn't be able to afford the big ones or the motorized ones, but they could buy a dinghy. I think at one time it was allowed for citizens to buy boats, but now they don't allow it. They are afraid people will buy them to try and leave the District. Honestly, with the coast guards and lighthouses surrounding the borders I don't think anyone would be able to do it. You're only able to go out in open water with a peacekeeper. If you can't provide one then you'll have to deal with the peacekeepers who are out there. The peacekeepers, who will punish you harshly. I don't think they have ever killed anyone, but sometimes people mysteriously get lost at sea.

I guess they don't care about the victors trying to leave. Maybe they think we don't want to leave our great new life. Maybe they think we know better.

The final place is known as the Fishing District. This is the place I lived in. Everyone who is a fisherman lives in this part of the District, so most of the population. Even though only fishermen live in this area it is nowhere close to the docks. No one in this place has a beachfront view and it is far away from town and the marinas. All fishermen don't get paid the same so all the houses aren't alike. Some people have nicer clothes and get to eat something besides fresh fish.

In no way is this part of the District or the District as a whole is starving like the outer Districts but this is where the people with the lowest income live. I have never almost starved to death and rarely went to bed with an empty stomach.

The thing about being a fisherman is you only get paid when you get assigned a job. Once the Capitol's monthly quota is met not a lot of jobs are available. You can try and find your own during this time. Probably one that even pays better but, once the new month starts and the quota needs to be met all the fishermen are called to work the long jobs. Sometimes they are gone for months at a time.

I remember my Father was gone for two and a half months once. My Mother was convinced he died or that the ship had sunk. There was a bad storm that happened in that time. So bad that they put the District in a state of emergency. This basically means that everyone is ordered to stay inside until further notice. Usually this is when a ship wreck occurs so she wasn't completely out of line.

My Mother would work odd jobs around town like most fishermen wives do to make money. If Dad never came back though she would need to find a stable job.

Two days after the state of emergency was over my Dad was back home. One week later he was leaving again. This time my brother was joining him. After a boy turns 18 and the reaping is over they are required to work on the boats. There are a few exceptions, like kids of merchants or a family rich enough to pay peacekeepers off. But otherwise your kid goes. Girls are supposed to find jobs somewhere in the District, but no one checks up on you it's just what is expected.

"When?" I ask.

"Saturday, she wants to see you off before the Victory Tour. She's thinking of making seafood pot pie for you." He says with a smile.

Seafood pot pie was one of my favorite dishes growing up. I don't know if it was because we didn't have it often or I just liked it. The ingredients to make the crust were usually expensive so she only made it for special occasions. Now that they have money she could make it every day.

"I don't...I… I can't-" I get cut off by Finnick. I guess he knew I didn't know how to say no.

"The prep team comes this Saturday Mr. Cresta, they need to make sure Annie is up to Capitol standards. I think the stylist won't be too fond of Annie cutting her hair without any notice so it will probably take awhile." He says and smiles.

The fact that Finnick can lie so easily is impressive. My Father isn't stupid he knows this is a lie, but the way Finnick says it makes me almost believe it. He doesn't stutter and his voice is smooth like velvet.

"Maybe when you get back then." He says.

"Sure." I say.

"Okay." He says. He doesn't believe me but I'm not going to say no.

"Dad you should stay for a bit it is such a long walk back." I say.

"Of course darling." He says.

Finnick leaves shortly after even though my Dad says many times Finnick doesn't need to.

My Dad tells me what he is doing with his time now that he no longer has to be a fishermen. He fishes everyday still to give food for my Mother, but he is also working his hand at carpentry. He's always liked working with his hands.

"I could bring you a new side table Annie." He says with a smile.

"I'd like that." I say.

He looks out the window. It's starting to get dark. I would invite him to stay over night in one of the bedrooms, but know he will refuse. He wants to be home with my Mother.

"Oh one more thing Annie," he says and stands up from the couch "your brother is looking for someplace to live and wants opinions." He says with a smile.

"Chris is moving out?" I say alarmed and worried.

"You gave him the money." My Dad sounds confused.

"I didn't want him to leave. I didn't want you and Mom to be all alone." I say.

"He's twenty-one Annie and will turn twenty-two when you are gone. I expected this to happen after he got some of your money." He says.

"What about Mom?" I ask.

"She'll be fine Annie. Your brother will still visit."

This comment hurts a bit. I know he didn't mean to make it sound like he is saying 'unlike you', but I still heard it that way.

"Just make Mom come here." I say.

He sighs.

"She doesn't like seeing you in this house Annie."

"Is it the house or me?" I ask. I've actually thought of this a few times. I have always ruled it out because she invites me to her house all the time. I just remember he telling my Father that I wasn't her daughter anymore. She meant the same one I was before I left, but still."

"She loves you Annie, she just doesn't like being reminded of what happened."

"She'll still see it even if I came back home." I say.

"She pictures you in your old life there Annie. The life you were supposed to have." He says.

I wasn't going to live there forever but I would be there for a few more years. I would've married a nice guy and become a fisherman's wife. I wouldn't have had any kids, but still I wouldn't be messed up in the head. I wouldn't have been in a death arena.

He sighs.

"She sees you as a killer when she comes here, just like your neighbors even that sweet old lady." He says gently.

"I am not a murderer." I say even though it is a lie. I did kill two people. I'm just not the kind she is implying that I am a psycho who enjoyed killing people.

"I know Annie but she doesn't see-"

"Well she needs to get over it! She needs to accept that this is my life now!" I yell at him.

He looks surprised I never yell at my Father.

"I did or I'm trying to." I say.

"I know Annie." He says.

"Make her see it then." I say still angry.

I can feel like I'm going to start crying. I have always cried when I am angry or sad. I don't know why, but I can't help it.

I run my fingers through my hair. It is still damp from the haircut.

He shakes his head.

"I've been trying to Annie." He says.

I don't respond for a long time.

"I know." I say.

"Good." He says.

He kisses my forehead.

"Goodnight Annie." He says and heads to the front door.

I don't watch him leave. I only turn when I hear the front door close.

My Mother thinks I'm a murder even though I had to. I had to it was self-defense.

I can tell I am going to start crying so I hug myself and rock back and forth. My legs start moving before I tell them to.

I'm knocking on Finnick's door.

He opens it and I just hug him. I don't say anything I just hug him.

He doesn't seem to mind either he closes the door and starts running his hands up and down my back.

"Everything is going to be okay." He says.

I guess you could apply this advice to anyone who is upset.

I hold onto him tighter. He smells like sea salt and the purple wild flowers on the beach.

I breathe deeply and close my eyes.

He's so warm and inviting. The crying eventually stops but I don't let go of him.

Why do his hugs always make me feel better? Why is he the person I go running to?


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen**

"Annie your hair!" Was how Zen greeted me. He didn't sound happy he sounded angry.

Finnick wasn't exaggerating how much Zen hates short hair.

He ran his fingers through it and swore a few times at how it isn't up to his standards and that it ruined the hairstyles he had planned for me. He made Cedar clean up the ends claiming it was uneven and hideous. I thought it looked perfect but since it wasn't professionally done he thinks it is lackluster.

He muttered something about hair extensions but there was no time to get any. Libra asked if District 4 had any horses so maybe they would be able to make some. We don't have horses and even if we did I doubt they would be able to find the right shade. It's interesting to hear that they make fake hair out of horse's.

Libra mentioned between all the yelling that they used hair extensions so people could have short and long hair at the same time. They would be able to shock people with new looks every day.

When I told Zen Finnick did it he seemed more enraged stating that Finnick should know better by now.

He yelled at Finnick for a good ten minutes. Finnick offered his apologizes and thought he did a perfectly good job. Zen refused his apologizes and yelled like a small child.

You could tell Finnick was trying not to laugh. It wasn't what Zen was saying, it was his facial expressions that made it funny. His eyebrows are already plucked into a permanent surprise look and they got even higher each time he yelled. They were practically in his hairline. It didn't help that his eyes are now a bright teal color.

It was hilarious and made me feel better about what happened the other day.

Finnick never asked why I came running to him crying. I keep expecting it but he never asks.

That's when it dawned on me. I've lived next to Finnick for half a year and barely know anything about him. I know he is handy with a trident. He owns a boat and sometimes spends days on it. I know his favorite color is blue. He's left handed. He's a decent cook. He loves sweets. He only shops on Tuesdays because they always have the fresh shellfish he likes. He smiles easily. And he's a good liar.

All that may seem like a lot but I don't know anything about his life before he was a victor. He usually changes the subject when I ask about family or friends but he ironically turns the subject around on me. He knows everything about my family and friends. He knows I was on the swim team. He knows I was part of the sailing club. He even knows my grade point average from high school.

I'm surprised Finnick is so willing to talk about his nightmares instead of his personal life. It makes me think he does it just to make me feel better.

I know Finnick is my friend but I still don't know what he thinks of me. Am I still just his tribute or have I moved up to a friend?

The one thing I do know for certain is to not bring up visits to the Capitol. I made offhanded jokes about his friends he meets there but he never liked it. I still don't know why. Finnick always seemed like the type of person to brag about this stuff. Well, that was what I thought before I really knew him.

He leaves occasionally to go to the Capitol, sometimes for days sometimes for weeks. I asked him about it a few times. The first he played it off like it was no big deal that he was just meeting some old sponsor friends. The second time I asked he mumbled something about a dinner party and President Snow wanted him to be there. The third and final time I asked, and the longest time he was gone, he played it off saying he had to see his 'fans. He then asked me questions about my brother. He had a gleaming smile but it didn't meet his eyes and his tone of voice was off.

He was trying way too hard to be interested in some boring fish story about myself and my brother that I'm sure I told him already. He had on that too perfect smile.

That's something about Finnick you would only notice if you spent time with him. He's too perfect. He's too nice. He isn't self centered like people think. It's one big charade. One I still haven't completely figured out yet. Sometimes it's hard to tell the real Finnick from the fake one.

When I was crying in his arms clinging to him like a child he just kept telling me it would be okay. After I finally let go of him I expected him to ask what was wrong but he just wiped my eyes and got some tissues.

He was staring at me intently. I know he wanted to ask but didn't. He told me some lame story about how a turtle stole his hat once. It was cute and probably embellished but I noticed something. He probably let it slip, he said he didn't get to go outside a lot when he was a kid.

He wouldn't lie about that. I don't think Finnick had an easy childhood. Winning the Hunger Games was bad enough but I think it made his life more difficult. The rumors of his Mother's sickness makes me wonder if he was the one who took care of her. If his Father was a fishermen and he was an only child someone would have to look after her and if she was as sick as people say... she would need looking after. It's illegal to miss school unless you are dying or a victor. They literally have peacekeepers check your home. I wonder...

I glace at Finnick who is standing in my kitchen talking to Penny.

what was your life like before?

"Annie." Libra says and snaps his fingers in front of my face.

"What?" I ask.

"You need your makeup done."

"Right." I say.

"I asked you three times. It's rude to stare off into space."

I nod.

They don't just go for makeup though. They take me to one of the bathrooms upstairs and start a bath for me. They fill it with something that smells vile. The water is a dark orange color when they tell me to get in.

The water is scalding and burns every pour. They start rubbing things on my body, some make it worse and some make the sting go away.

Penny pours something into the water that makes bubbles. I'm thankful for this because it smells like flowers instead of chemicals.

Cedar starts to wash my hair.

"So dirty." He mumbles.

I don't know how it could be dirty. I shower each day and Zen just put products in it.

They scrub me all over. I'm sure they could've let me do this by myself but it would probably be deemed not good enough.

I stay in the bath until the water is cold. When they dry me off they put lotions all over my body. It makes my skin feel soft but I don't look as glowly as I did in the Capitol.

Cedar grabs a device from his bag and starts to dry my hair. When he is finished he parts it in a zigzag shape and brushes it delicately.

Penny is working on my nails. She is buffing and filing them into perfect crescent shapes. I'm surprised she can do anything with them because they are bitten down to the nub.

After they are done with that they start putting makeup on my face. Not a lot like if I was in the Capitol, just enough to show off my natural features.

"Such nice cheekbones." Penny says with a smile.

I'm fairly certain she told me this in the Capitol while applying my makeup. I guess I should take it as a compliment although I don't understand how someone's bone structure can be so desirable.

"Time for Zen to see." Penny says and wraps her small pink hand around my wrist.

Zen complains about my hair again. Not how Cedar styled it but the length.

When I look at the clock I see it has been a few hours.

They are making me look so nice because before I leave District 4 for the Victory Tour I have to have a chat with Caesar. He doesn't come here or anything it is done by a live feed. The interview is only a few minutes where we will discuss what I have been doing with my time, how I enjoy my new life, my talent, and how I have spent some money.

I haven't really spent it on much. I gave a lot to each of my family members. I still have enough money than I know what to do with.

My interview with Caesar is at six o'clock sharp. When my team arrived at eight they said there would barely be enough time to make me up. I thought they were joking. It's already one and after this I need to practice my answers and posture for Caesar.

"Let's break for lunch." Zen says.

Finnick sits next to me.

"I hate this." I whisper to him.

"We'll be on the train by dusk." He says.

"Then we leave to do this eleven more times." I say.

"Twelve." He says.

"What?" I ask confused.

"You forgot the Capitol."

"Oh right duh." I mutter to myself.

"Don't worry going to the District's is very repetitive. You can keep most of the speeches the same."

"What about District 7 and 9?" I ask.

"You'll be okay." He says.

I sigh.

I killed people from there. The boy and the girl. I have justified that the boy was self defense and a mercy kill because the birds probably would've found him.

The girl though wasn't self defense, not completely. I didn't go hunting her down and she would have killed me if I didn't attack her, it's just the way I killed her. Finnick was right I should've looked away during the recap but I wouldn't be able to live without knowing. It would drive me crazy, crazier than I already am.

I don't say anything. I just eat the fish Finnick caught earlier this morning. I think he caught it for me.

The rest of the day is spent practicing for my interview with Caesar and going over the schedule for the Victory Tour. Everything is planned down to the last minute. I wonder what would happen if the train broke down or the District wasn't ready for us.

"Annie?" I hear Luna say confused. I didn't even see her walk into my house. The front door has been open for hours now.

"No, no, guests." Libra says.

"Come in." I say annoyed with him.

She was curious about my prep team. She's curious about The Capitol in general. I don't blame her Libra is the only person we really see from there. We see the designers on TV but Libra is the only other link between us and them.

"Annie." He says irate.

"You look nice." Luna says with a smile. "I wanted to give you these." She says and opens a small wooden box. It's filled with letters.

"Oh my gosh." I say and smile.

Each year before the first day of school we would write a letter or goal that we wanted to accomplish. We would put it in the box and let it sit there until next year. Luna and I have done this since we were little kids. I remember one of mine said get a boy to like you.

"You didn't write one for this year yet." She scolds.

I smile.

What would I even write? I think to myself.

"I thought it would be nice to have something to read on the train and also look back at what you wanted last year." She smiles.

I unfold my piece of paper.

_Survive the last reaping._

Was that my only ambition for last year? Well I guess I made it happen, I didn't just survive the reaping I won the Hunger Games.

"So what are you going to write this year?" She asks with a smile.

Figure out how to stop having nightmares. Figure out how to deal with the fact that my Mother views me as a murderer.

I sigh and pick up the pen. My eyes go to the kitchen

_Learn how to cook. Learn how to crochet with Mags. Find out Finnick's past._I write. It's not much but it is something.

I put it in the box and close it.

"I don't get to know?" She says and does a puppy dog lip.

"It's a secret." I say and put my finger to my lips.

She smiles.

"I'll let you know when I come home." I say.

She nods.

I introduce her to my prep team. Zen comments how much prettier Luna is compared to me. Her golden skin and hair make for a perfect look. He complements her hair multiple times. So much that I don't feel guilty any longer for having Finnick cut mine.

"I should be going." Luna says.

I nod and follow her out.

"There very animated and rude." She says.

"They don't realize they are being rude." I say. "Most of the time they are just brutally honest. Zen and Libra liked to tell me many times that they didn't like me in the Capitol and thought I would die."

I did ask for their opinions but they could have been a little nicer at times.

"It's interesting to see people like them." Luna says.

I nod.

"Among other things." I say.

"I hear they don't have the sea in the other Districts." She says.

"Maybe, I didn't see a drop in the Capitol."

"I guess they like taking all our fish." She says.

"I guess." I say.

I never really thought about it before. I know the Capitol takes a decent portion of our fish, but I never thought it was because it was impossible for them to get it. Then again I doubt any Capitol citizen would freely choose to be a fishermen. I wonder what types of jobs people have in the Capitol.

"Annie." Luna says loudly. She has that look on her face when I've been quiet for too long. The look where people think I am having a flashback.

"What?" I ask.

"I said goodbye and hope you have a safe time." She says.

"Right, thank you."

I'm glad she said safe instead of nice because we both know I will not be having a nice trip.

She hugs me even though I don't hug her back.

"Bye Annie." She says again as she leaves the village.

I sigh and watch her walk away.

Someone starts dragging me back to the house, but I still keep my eyes on her. I wish I could just walk out of this place so easily.

"We have your outfit." Zen says once we are back in the house.

He pulls out a soft purple sundress with woven sandals. At least it looks like something I would actually wear at home.

"I have a headband too." He says. He still sounds angry, but he could still use this with long hair.

The headband is white with a small bow on the side.

"This would look better with earnings." He says and touches my ear lob.

"No." I say and move his hand away. I don't need any strange piercings or body changes. Some of the victors get their body enhanced in ways. I don't think anyone has every dyed their bod a ridiculous color. There is one victor from 2 who had her teeth filed into fangs because that is how she won her games. She ripped the other tirubte's jugular out with her teeth, that is what she became well known for.

He sighs and rolls his eyes.

"So dramatic." He mutters.

"I'm dramatic." I say angrily.

"Well, I do have one thing for you." He says and holds out a woven pink and purple friendship bracelet. I wore one just like it in the arena as my token. It looks so similar, too similar.

"Where did you get that?" I ask and move my hand away before he can tie it on.

"You left it in the Capitol, it was terribly dirty and needed to be cleaned twice."

"I'm not wearing that." I say. It was stained not just with sand, but also blood. My blood, Daren's blood, and the girl from 7's blood.

"It completes the look." He says.

"I'm not wearing it." I say loudly. I doubt anyone would remember this was my token, but I do and everything that comes along with it..

"Annie, you can give me this because you ruined your hair."

"No." I say and walk away.

He's shouting again, yelling profanities at me. Calling me ungrateful and not deserving of the title.

For once I agree with him I am undeserving of the title.

Someone puts their hand on my shoulder.

"She's just tired." Finnick says.

Zen walks away angry.

"Try not to make him angrier, this is already going to be a long train ride." Finnick says.

"It's not my fault." I say."That thing was in the arena with me. I don't want it anywhere near me." I say.

Finnick nods.

"Just try ignoring him." Finnick says.

I'm about to counter his statement when Libra calls me over.

We step outside and I see fancy cameras and lights set up. There are a few people operating them that I didn't notice before.

"Stand here Victor Annie." One of the men say.

He drags me to a spot on the ground that has an 'x' marked on it. I'm assuming this is a mark where I am supposed to stand.

"Okay, you'll be able to see Caesar on this monitor. You should still try and look into the camera to make it seem more natural." He says.

I nod.

"More natural." I whisper to myself. I sudden feel very nervous.

"You look marvelous, just answer the questions like we discussed earlier." Libra says.

I nod.

"Okay everyone in-" The man starts counting down with his fingers. He points to me after two and I can see Caesar on the monitor followed by cheers.

His hair is a shocking dark purple this year. It doesn't look that bad against his skin. He's had worse hair colors, I remember a puce green one from a few years ago. He changes it every year to have a new look for the new games.

He makes opening remarks and talks about my games. He makes jokes about it being a sandy tundra or in my mind a sandy pit from hell.

"Here she is our victor from the 70th Hunger Games, Annie Cresta." Caesar says and the camera man points to me.

I smile shyly and wave.

"Hello Caesar and everyone." I say and smile.

"Hello Annie, it is so very nice to see you."

"You as well Caesar." I say.

"Now, Annie, tell us how victor life has been?" He asks.

"Ever since I got home everything has changed. I miss my old life, but this one is much more suited to me. I am very thankful for everything the Capitol has given me."

All the other mentors said I needed to add somewhere in the interview that I was grateful to the Capitol. It's just something a victor is expected to say I guess. I didn't argue. I hate the Capitol and everyone involved with the games, but I don't want to upset them. Especially since I wasn't the winner they were hoping for.

"Well, you're very welcome. We have seen the lovely bracelets you have been making, tell us when did that talent start to shine through?"

"Since I was young I was always good at weaving things. My friend and I would make bracelets out of twine together so we could always be together. I wanted to show off and share them with everyone."

"That way we can always be with you." He says and laughs.

"Perhaps Caesar... perhaps."

Maybe, I shouldn't have been so personal. It's not completely true, there was a time where it was a fad for everyone to be wearing woven bracelets. The girls liked giving them to one another and the term friendship bracelet was formed. I never took that thing off when I was a little kid. When the rope finally broke I just left it on my dresser. I'm surprised Luna still had the pink and purple one I gave her, that she gave back to me. The one I wore in the arena, the one Zen is trying to make me wear now.

"Well, maybe we will be able to see you making one live for us." He says.

"Maybe." I say. If it was a really small one I could do it.

"Well, we can't wait to see you here in the Capitol but first you get to celebrate with all the other Districts. I'm sure you will have a wonderful time. We will be checking in with you again and remember everyone a Happy Hunger Games." He says.

The screen fades back to black.

"We're out. The train will be here in 30 minutes." The camera operator says.

I nod.

People start to take the equipment down.

"That was wonderful Annie." Libra says and walks away.

"Good job you remembered to thank them." Oscar says.

I nod.

Cedar comes over to take off my headband and brush my hair.

"Seriously though good job." Oscar says surprising me.

Was it really that important for me to say? I think to myself.

"Time to change into whatever horrible outfit you wish." Zen says annoyed.

I roll my eyes and walk inside.

"Finnick." I say as I walk into my house.

"Yeah?" He asks.

"Why is it so important that I thank the Capitol?" I ask.

"You have too." He says.

"Why?" I ask.

"To show your support and President Snow doesn't like when victors don't show it."

"The President cares about these silly interviews?" I ask.

"Annie he was the one giving the speech at City Circle and cheering with the crowd."

"He had to make the opening speech he is the leader of our country." I say.

"He's also the one who placed the crown on your head." Finnick says.

"The earlier statement applies."

"Does it really, wouldn't you think the head gamemaker would place it on your head while Snow makes your congratulation speech."

"I don't know. I didn't give it much thought." I say. No one tells me about this stuff.

"Annie this Victory Tour isn't just to remind citizens of the constant threat of the games. It's so Snow can keep an eye on the victors. It's so Snow can check up on us. He wants to watch us to make sure we are following unspoken rules."

"And what the hell are those?"

"To stay in line. Prove that we like being victors so tributes will still volunteer. Thank the Capitol for our winnings because our lives were terrible before. Flaunt our money so people keep seeing what spoils you get when you win." He grabs my shoulders hard and looks into my eyes deeply. "Play the part or someone will get hurt."

"What, like killed?" I ask.

Finnick doesn't answer and is still holding onto my shoulders tightly.

"I'd be okay if he killed me Finnick." I say truthfully.

"He wouldn't kill you, even though you aren't very memorable and foggy in the head you're still a victor.

"Foggy-" I start but he continues on.

"He'll go after the only things that you have left to care about."

"Why didn't anyone tell me this before." I say and push his hands away.

"We were going to tell you on the train. We thought it would be better that way, in case..." He trails off.

"In case of what Finnick?" I ask.

"You didn't take the news well." Finnick says. He is trying to avoid my gaze.

I grab his wrist to make him look at me.

"Look at me Finnick." I say.

He looks surprised by my forwardness, but he just pissed me off.

"Was it just Oscar who thought this or all of you?" I ask. I don't think Mags or Finnick would think I was so crazy, so delicate that I would have a mental breakdown just because of this news.

The look on his face says the answer, they all talked about this and thought it was the right thing to do. I could beilive Oscar would think so little of me, but Finnick.

I can feel the anger tears form in my eyes. I hate that I cry so easily whether I am upset, afraid or angry.

"Looking at the past-" He starts

"I'm not some dainty flower Finnick." I say and shove him away. "I want you to leave me alone."

I'm not his friend just his tribute...looking back at our conversations and everything that we shared seems like something only friends would do. To me, Finnick was a friend.

"Annie." He says and walks after me.

"Stop following me, leave me alone." I say and head upstairs.

I change into my sleep shirt and a ratty pair of jeans. I don't care what Zen or Libra will say of my look.

When we get on the train I just head to my room. Libra is trying to talk to me about tomorrows schedule but I don't care. I don't want to be in a room with the rest of them. I don't want to be in a room where people think I am so dainty or crazy that I can't handle terrible news.

If they thought this news was so important they should've told me weeks before the Victory Tour not right after the first interview.

_Act the part_ Finnick's words ring in my head. Well what the hell part is that ? Continue being the diamond in rough for the rest of my life or just pretend that I love being a victor. Both could be doable. I would be dying a little bit inside for acting so fake, but what choice would I have. Acting like an arrogant person is worth more than someone dying because I can't follow the unspoken victor rules.

Why didn't Finnick tell me about these rules as soon as I got home. Why did he let me mope around all day looking for something to do when I could've been practicing how to be someone else?

Practicing to be someone else. I think to myself and my mind goes briefly to Finnick. He's such a flirty asshole when in the Capitol, but not like that in 4.

Is that what Finnick does? What part Finnick has to play, a flirtatious egocentric asshole.

I don't remember what strategy they used for him. Finnick can talk to people easily I guess being a charmer could've been his strategy. I mean it is a little gross to think a fourteen year old would use the sexy angle, but you would do anything to stay alive.

It doesn't matter anyway. I don't care about any of them. I can whine and complain like a baby even if I am being overdramatic like Zen was, but I don't care. They didn't trust me. The only person I would consider talking to is Oscar because I know he would do this no matter what. He is a true arrogant asshole. He always shows his distaste for me, that I am weak and pathetic, that I shouldn't be trusted.

I can't believe Finnick or Mags thinks this as well. Annie Cresta such a delicate flower that can't even take care of herself. I roll on my back and feel the tears leak out from my eyes. Not from sadness but from anger.

I hear knocking on the door and roll over not caring. If they think I am so gentle that I will just run away then let me give them what they wanted.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen **

I've stayed in my room the past two days. I don't know how long it takes to get to District 12 but by the looks of nature outside my window I'd say soon.

I know I'm acting like a child but I can't help it. I'm so mad at Finnick and don't know what our relationship is anymore. I think a friend would've told me the truth right away even if it was terrible. This sort of stuff is why I sometimes think Finnick only thinks of me as a tribute. But the stuff we do together and the way we talk is more like friends.

I know I need to be talking to someone about what to say in my speech or what to wear. I know I can't stay here forever. I felt like this after I first came home. I wanted to board up the entire house and never see the outside world again.

"That's it Annie!" I hear Libra shout angrily outside the door.

An alarm goes off and lights are flashing. The door to my room suddenly opens.

"Did you really pull the emergency release to get me out?" I say.

"If you stop acting like a child, I wouldn't have to." Libra says angrily.

He grabs me firmly and drags me to the common room. Everyone is staring at me.

"Finally, I thought you might've hurt yourself in there but Finnick convinced us you weren't suicidal." Oscar says.

I nod. Well at least he knows that about me. I sit at the long table and a plate of food gets placed in front of me.

Mags isn't in the room but Finnick, Oscar, Zen, and the prep team are.

I notice Finnick has a notebook he is scribbling in..

What the hell is he writing now? I think to myself.

He rips out a page.

"I made a rough draft of her speech." Finnick says and gives it to Libra.

"Excellent, Annie and I will go over it later." He says and is looking over it. He must like it because he is smiling.

"Thank you." I say to Finnick in a removed tone.

He looks hurt.

"You're welcome." He says in an equally removed tone.

"Burr it's cold in here." Oscar says.

I roll my eyes.

"I don't want to be around a sulking couple for the next month so please make up." Oscar says.

I ignore Oscar and eat what is in front of me. It looks good but all I taste is mush.

"Let's go to a different cart to practice your speech." Libra says. We start walking down the halls. "We are a little behind schedule because of the drama but it is just District 12." He says and hands me the paper Finnick gave him.

"Can you cry on cue?" Libra asks.

"What?" I ask confused.

"Cry on command." He says like I am stupid.

"I know what it means. Why would I need to cry on cue?" I ask.

He shrugs.

"A few tears will make things more dramatic." Libra says.

I sigh.

"Finnick wrote down cues you could use during your speech and blanket statements you could say during dinner." He says.

I look down at the paper and everything Libra said is there. It's even color coded.

His handwriting is sloppy but still readable.

_Shake the mayor's hand and give thanks to him before the speech. If the victor is there do the same. Look interested when the mayor is giving opening remarks D.12 mayor will be nervous._

"_I, Annie Cresta, am proud to be here with you today. I am not just proud, but thankful, thankful that the Capitol gave us this opportunity to come together. The 70th Hunger Games were exciting for all of us (look at the tributes' families) especially the players. Thank you." (smile warmly into the cameras.)_

_You will have your victory dinner in the Justice Building. It's much smaller than ours. The mayor and his family will be joining us. The other victor and head peacekeeper may as well._

_The mayor will try and make small talk; myself and others can keep the ball rolling if you can't. After dinner thank everyone again for being there and celebrating your win. _

Finnick could've told me some of this stuff. He must think I'm not going to talk to him right now and he isn't wrong.

"It's only 3 sentences." I say surprised.

"The speeches are meant to be short and sweet. I think Finnick did a fine job." Libra says with a smile.

"Alright, will this be the same speech in each District?" I ask.

"Some things will change, especially in the Districts where you killed the tributes but the core part will be the same." Libra says. "Now." He puts both of his hands on my shoulders. "I want to hear you say it."

I say the words on the paper and get told many times that I will have to memorize it so I should stop looking down.

He doesn't like my smile at the end saying it looks fake. I don't think I will be able to change that in time. I watched my interview back with Caesar and it was obvious I was faking.I doubt the people in the Districts will care, but people from the Capitol is a different situation.

A door opens and Zen walks in.

"We need to work on your dress, you will be in 12 by tomorrow afternoon." Zen says. He takes my arm and drags me through the train. When we stop we are in a cart full of different fabrics, accessories, shoes, and dresses.

"I'll be right back." Zen says.

I walk around and touch the different fabrics, some are soft and others scratchy. I can tell one of them is wool. I have an old wool sweater back home, it's one of the few sweaters I own. My grandmother knitted it for me. It's a soft pink color that has faded over the years. I like wearing it on those rare cold nights in District 4.

The door opens again and I flinch. When I turn I don't see Zen.

"Annie." Finnick says.

"Thank you for the speech." I say. My tone is still cold.

"You're welcome. If you have any questions you can ask me...or Libra." He says.

"Were you looking for me?" I ask.

"I wanted to see if you would talk to me." He says. I can see the hurt in his eyes.

"I dunno." I say.

"I hope you know you're acting like a child." He says.

"I hope you know you hurt my feelings Finnick. You made me feel so small and I didn't think you thought of me as some weak dainty flower. Someone who can't be trusted because they will explode into a crazy mess." I say.

Finnick sighs.

"I was going to tell you the night before, but you showed up crying at my door. I didn't want to give you more bad news."

"What about the other months before?" I say.

"I didn't tell you about the stuff with Snow before you got on the train, not because you are delicate or would have a mental breakdown. But because I didn't, Mags and I didn't, want you to hear one more bad thing about your new life. I wanted to put it off as long as possible for you."

"Again why didn't you tell me this months before?"

"Oscar told me the day I got came back. I was still traumatized and he just made it worse. He left out some stuff but the basics were still the scared me knowing I would have to show undying loyalty to people I hated. I didn't know how to be fake. I think if Snow killed my parents it wouldn't have hurt as much though. My Mother was already sick and probably going to die soon. I didn't care if my Father died. I was just scared."

I wonder why he wouldn't care if his Father died. I can see it from his point of view a little better now.

"I know you're still mad at me but may I so boldly ask what you were crying about?" He asks.

"It was something my Dad said." I say softly.

"Your Dad made you cry?" He asks concerned.

"More like my Mom through my Dad."

He nods.

"My Mother won't come to my house because she thinks I'm a murderer."

"Annie-"

"Not the 'I killed someone in the Hunger Games' a true killer. I think it has to do with the girl from 7."

"I told you to look away." He mumbles.

"Congratulations Finnick Odair knows everything." I say annoyed. I am still a little mad at him

"Your Mom will come around Annie." He says with a smile.

"How do you know, it's not like your parents thought you were a crazy killer." I say. I have no idea if this is real, but I think it is a safe bet.

"No they didn't, my Dad was just after my money." He says with a smirk.

When he smirks like that I can't tell if he is lying or not.

"Are you lying or telling the truth? I can almost never tell." I ask.

"He did want my money, he said since I was young so I wouldn't be able to manage it all properly. On the outside it would seem like something a responsible parent would say, but not him. I was only 14 and he just wanted it for himself."

"What did your Mom say?" I ask. I'm surprised he is finally telling me about his family.

"I don't think she knew, my Dad hid stuff from her and she was in her own world sometimes."

"She wasn't sick in the head, was she?" I ask.

He rolls his eyes.

"She wasn't insane she was just sick." He says. He sounds angry. I wonder if people have suggested this about his Mom before. People say she was sick but no one really knows the details or of it was true, just mainly District gossip.

If his Mom was sick in the head it would explain why he is good at dealing with me.

I drop the subject.

"I don't want people to think I'm a crazy psycho killer."

"It's not like you ate anyone in the arena or hunted down for the kill."

I crinkle my nose remembering one tribute who truly went insane during the games. The people he killed he would eat them or what parts he could before the hovercraft came to collect the body. They eventually had to shock his body so he would stay away from the bodies.

He died at the hands of the gamemakers. I think it was a rock slide, he surely couldn't be a victor. He wouldn't be able to play the part. He would just be insane, compared to that tribute I am completely sane. I am just someone who has nightmares.

"I know."

The door opens and it is Zen holding a dress black as coal.

"Here we are, District 12. I thought it should be black like the coal they mine." Zen says with a smile.

The dress isn't ugly, it is actually pretty simple. It's a long sleeve black dress. There are no fancy prints or sequins it is just a black dress. I think the fabric is velvet because it feels soft..

The shoes he pulls out are white tennis shoes with a lacy pattern.

"It's so simple." I say relieved.

"Well, I didn't want to put too much effort into this District." Zen says.

"Oh." I say.

"I've got gloves for you too."

"Gloves?" I say confused.

"It's probably snowing there right now." Finnick says.

"Snow." I say and smile.

I have a romanticized view of snow. We can't get that fluffy white stuff back home. I always wish it would snow, just once back home.

"It will probably be tainted with coal dust and not the fluffy stuff you dream about." Finnick says.

"Oh." I say slightly disappointed.

"We might see it in other Districts though." He says.

I smile at the thought.

"Disrobe so I can check the measurements." Zen says.

Finnick stands up.

"Bye Annie." He says.

"Such a gentleman not wanting to see you naked." Zen says after Finnick has left.

I roll my eyes, but I'm pretty sure that is why he left.

He needs to make it a bit looser in some areas. He keeps saying I must have gained weight and is still complaining about my hair.

* * *

I roll over in bed again. I can't sleep. I don't know if it is because we will be in District 12 or the train rocking on the tracks or it could be that it is dark.

I sleep with every light in my house because I'm afraid of the dark like a child. I have a decent excuse considering my arena was pitch black at night. I don't remember the last time I slept with a light off.

The lights on the train turn off automatically after movement isn't detected. If I got up and started walking around they would turn right back on. The windows let some light in not making it pitch black, but it's not enough.

Maybe I could ask one of the train attendants for a candle. I think to myself.

I get out of bed and walk down the hall. I didn't think it would be so hard to find an attendant they are crawling around during the day.

When I get to the main car I see one of the lights on and someone sitting on the sofa.

"Finnick?" I say. He pulls the notebook he is writing close to his chest. "Still coming up with strategies for me?" I ask.

"What... no." He says confused.

"What are you writing then?" I ask.

"Nothing." He says.

"Is it a journal?" I ask.

"It's nothing Annie." He says.

I nod, but try to get a better glance.

He sighs and gives it to me.

_Under starlit dome, _

_across the empty ocean,_

_I sail all alone._

_Beautiful sunrise_

_On a warm summer morning._

_I wait for day's start_

There is one passage written over and over again. It is taped on the page and looks so old. It isn't Finnick's handwriting it is perfect and pretty.

_Yellow flame flickers_

_Shadows dance upon the wall_

_Love grows ever strong._

I wonder why he writes this one so much. I wonder why the original isn't in his handwriting.

"What is it?" I ask. The passages are a little weird, but something about the structure seems familiar

"It's poetry..." He says. He sounds embarrassed.

"They don't rhyme." I say.

"It's called a haiku. My Mother taught me how to do it. I was bad at it, still am, but they made my Mother smile."

"This is her handwriting." I say.

"Yeah." He says and takes the notebook back.

"Finnick." I say softly.

"Yeah?" He asks. He went back to writing in his notebook.

"Was she really sick or is that just District talk?" I ask.

He looks up at me again.

"She was sick." He says. He is almost smiling, maybe he likes talking about his Mom.

"What was wrong with her?" I ask.

"They never figured it out. I took care of her most of the time, my Father didn't care about her. He only married my Mother because his parents, my grandparents, didn't want a bastard for a grandchild. I think he wanted to get rid of me.

"She was only 18, luckily the reaping already happened. Although, I'm sure having a pregnant tribute would make it easy to find sponsors.

"According to my Mother's parents, my grandparents, there would be stretches of time when she wasn't sick. That's when she met my Father. Like now, people would talk about my Mom, they knew she was sick. I don't think he believed it because she seemed like a normal seventeen year old when they met. She started to get sick again during her pregnancy. People were afraid I would get what she had. That didn't happen, but I did get her beauty. "

He looks back down at the notebook making it clear this conversation is over.

There's clearly more to this story. How did she die? Why did his Dad ignore her? What happened to his grandparents? What were her symptoms? Is his Dad still alive? How did he go to training if he was always stuck at home?

So many questions that I'm not going to ask. I'm surprised he told me this much.

"Finnick." I say.

"Yeah?" He asks.

"Are we friends?" I ask.

He looks up from the notebook. He looks confused and a little hurt.

"Yes... why are you asking?" He says carefully

"Sometimes it's hard to tell if I am still just a tribute to you."

"I wouldn't spill my guts like that to a tribute. To prove myself though I will share some facts." He smiles.

"Okay." I say confused.

"You never wear white shoes on the beach because you think they'll get ruined by the sand. You like the smell of coffee but hate the taste. You hate seeing shooting stars because you associate them with death. Your favorite color is deep purple. You're ambidextrous and I think that is why you are so gifted with knots."

I'm surprised he remembered the star thing. We were on the beach one night and a shooting star flew by. Finnick said you're supposed to make a wish when you see one. I was told it wasn't a shooting star but a falling star that meant someone's life just burned out and fell from the sky.

I only said it once and I'm pretty sure he thought it was foolish, but how likely is a wish going to come true if you wish on a shooting star.

"Are we okay?" He asks. He sounds worried.

I nod.

"Yeah, we're okay." I say.

He takes something out of his pocket and throws it to me.

"What's this?" I ask truing it in my hand.

"Nightlight more or less. I know you don't like sleeping in the dark and the lights on the train turn off after thirty minutes without signs of movement." He says.

"Thank you." I say.

"I don't want to sound like Libra but you should probably get up early tomorrow. We'll be in 12 by the afternoon and I don't think anyone has talked about what the District looks like to you."

"We see the video feed each year." I say.

"Those are the nice parts. We won't get a tour here like some of the others offer but the sight is something that will take your breath away and not in a good way." He says.

I nod.

"Okay." I say and go back to my room.

I plug in the small light illuminating my bedroom. It doesn't light up everything, but it is much better.

I close my eyes. I wonder what Finnick meant by the sight of 12. I hope it isn't too terrible, me bragging about winning to people already in poor living situation is terrible. Me bragging to any of the Districts is going to be bad. I push the thoughts of District 7 from my mind. I don't even want to process that.

Just take it day by day, you can get through this Annie.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen**

"Let's go over the speech one last time." Libra says as the train comes to a halt.

I have most of it memorized but will still be bringing the card with me. Libra had me write it on fancy Capitol stationary to make it look more presentable as he calls it.

"I, Annie Cresta, am proud to be here with you today. I am not just proud, but thankful, thankful that the Capitol gave us this opportunity to come together. The 70th Hunger Games were exciting for all of us, especially the players. Thank you." I say.

"One more time we need to work on your posture." Libra says and pushes back my shoulders. "No slouching." He says.

I look down at the card but it is snatched from my hands.

"Excuse me!" Libra shouts at Zen. He's waving the card in front of Libra's face like a child.

"Forget about the speech we need to do her makeup." Zen says. He takes my hand and drags me to Penny. Her bubblegum pink skin seems brighter than I remember.

"Go for the natural look." Zen says and walks away.

"Alright here we go." Penny says and pulls out a makeup box that has three tiers.

I wonder what the qualifications are for becoming a stylist or a member of a prep team. Are they tapped by someone in the Capitol? Does Libra help pick them? Does Zen get to pick his assistants? He doesn't seem to be close to them I think they only have a professional relationship. Cedar and Penny seem closer than Zen does with them.

She pulls out a cloth.

"To cover the dress encase any makeup gets on it." She says and drapes it over my shoulders.

"Thank you." I say.

She nods.

She applies copious amounts of blush on my cheeks. She puts a few strokes of mascara on. She reaches for a tube of light pink lipstick.

She puts it back and rummages around in the case.

"Found it." She says to herself with a smile and holds out a small bottle filled with clear liquid and a small wand.

Penny opens it and applies the clear sticky liquid on my lips. It makes them shine but it feels so sticky.

"Okay let me see." Zen says walking into the room. "You're dismissed." He says looking at Penny. She smiles and walks away.

He licks his fingers and rubs some of the blush into my cheeks.

"You look lovely." He says with a smile and places a stray hair behind my ear.

He only brushed it and sprayed it with something that made it crunchy. He said my hair wouldn't move no matter how hard the wind was blowing.

"Good I'll be right back." He says with a smile leaving the room.

Finnick comes into the room

"You look nice." I say to Finnick. He is wearing a light green sweater.

He smiles.

"Thank you."

"Did Zen make an outfit for you too?" I ask.

"Nah it's just Capitol clothes. Even though this is all about you we are still supposed to make ourselves presentable."

"Mags and Oscar?" I ask.

"Them too and who can tell with Libra's outfits." He smiles. "You ready?" He asks.

"I don't know." I say.

"Just follow the instructions I gave you and you should be alright." He says.

"I just wish I knew what to expect."

"You've seen it on TV for years."

"But never as victor." I say worried.

"Just take it a step at a time." He says with a warm smile. A smile that usually make me feel better but not this time. I can still feel a gnawing feeling in my stomach.

"I know." I say.

Zen comes back in the room.

"Final touch." Zen says and pulls out fluffy white earmuffs. "You won't be outside for long but I don't want you to get sick."

"Okay." I say.

He puts them on and plays with my hair. He gives me white gloves that are very thick.

"Here we go." Libra says his voice is muffled. He hands me my card.

"Good luck." Finnick says.

I nod.

"District 12." I say as I step off the train.

The cold air hits my face taking my breath away. I can see my breath when I breathe. It reminds me of the cold nights in the arena.

I rub my arms trying to make myself warmer. I wish my dress was thicker and am thankful for the gloves and earmuffs. Zen gives me a death look when I do this so I stop. It must wrinkle the fabric or some other tragic thing.

"Haymitch." Oscar's muffled voice says. He smiles and waves in the distant to a middle aged man.

The man grumbles hello when he is in front of me.

"This is Haymitch Abernathy, the victor of the 50th Hunger Games, and the only alive from 12." Oscar says.

The 50th Hunger Games was the second Quarter Quell. A Quarter Quell happens every twenty-five years. It is special because it has a twist. The first one, the District had to vote in their tributes. The second, the number of tributes doubled.. Forty-eight kids instead of twenty-four. I don't remember a lot. I think he had lots of poisonous plants. I doubt anyone thought the victor would be from 12.

I look at the man again.

This guy won? I think to myself.

He has dark hair and grey eyes. He hasn't aged well. His skin is sagging off his bones and has wrinkles in places a man this age shouldn't have. I think he could have been attractive at one time. He is several feet from me but I can smell alcohol and body odor.

"Nice to meet you." I say.

"Yeah whatever." He grumbles.

He walks off with Oscar.

"They friends?" I ask Finnick.

He shrugs.

"I guess you could use that word. They like to knock back drinks together."

I nod.

When we get to the Justice Building the mayor is waiting for me all smiles.

"Miss Annie Cresta." He says and holds out his hand which I shake. "It's so nice to have you here in 12." He says.

Finnick was right he is nervous he has a slight twitch and his eyes are screaming for help.

I think it has something to do with him being mayor of the poorest District in Panem. He wants to put on a good show for the victor even though he doesn't really have the resources. It doesn't matter to me what he does. His attitude right now is good enough.

"Thank you. It's nice to be here." I say.

He nods.

"Well tonight we have prepared our best meal for you. All the meats and ingredients were bought fresh today." He says with a smile.

"That sounds lovely." I say.

"You should see the cake, Mellark's Bakery is one of the best staples in our District." He says. He seems to be proud of this fact. I'm sure it is very good then.

I nod.

"I'll give opening remarks and then you can come out to give your thanks." He says with a smile. The door opens and the cold air hits my face.

How do they survive the cold weather? I think to myself.

"Did you catch all that with the earmuffs?" Finnick asks.

"Yeah." I say

He nods.

"Here is your card Annie." Libra says and gives it to me.

"Thank you." I say.

I look down and read it over and over again.

My hands are starting to sweat and the earmuffs are making my head hurt.

You can do it Annie. I think to myself.

I feel a gentle push and the doors open letting in the cold air.

"Good luck." Finnick whispers as I step on the stage.

I walk to the microphone and get a good look at the District.

There are so many trees in the distant that are dusted with snow. The forest seems to go on and on. This part hasn't been shown on the video feeds. It's beautiful in a way. I will never see snow or trees like this back home.

I look back at the crowd and can see the platforms in the back where the families of the dead tributes stand. A picture of the tribute is also shown. I'm bad at judging ages but they had to be at least sixteen. Both have dark hair and are so skinny.

For the girl there are three people on her platform. A woman, a small girl, and older boy. They all have dark hair like she did and they also look just as skinny. If I had to guess I would say Mother, brother, and sister. I can't read the expressions on their faces. For the boy there is only a small girl standing on the platform, she can't be older than 13. This is probably his sister. I wonder what happened to the rest of his family, I wonder who is going to take care of her. She's so skinny… I bet she will take tessera if she hasn't already. I'm assuming a lot of people in this District have to.

I don't recognize either of the tributes. There were twenty-three of us and I didn't bother learning all the faces. I just wanted to get in with the career pack. Oscar wanted to go over how each tribute died but I declined. I didn't want to think about that. I think these tributes were both bloodbath, 12's usually are.

I take a closer look at the citizens.

The people here look terrible, but you can tell in their eyes they haven't given up completely. The hatred towards me or the Capitol or both is there. District 12 citizens have a type of strength. It won't help in the Hunger Games, but it's something other Districts can't have, it's the strength to survive. They're all survivors in a way you can't learn.

Almost every citizen in 4 goes to sleep with a full stomach and it is obvious that is not what happens here. The sunken faces and skin falling off the bones makes it clear.

I clear my throat when I get to the microphone.

"Good afternoon District 12. It is an honor to be here with you today." My hands are shaking and I don't think it is from the cold."I, Annie Cresta, am proud to be here with you today. I am not just proud, but thankful, thankful that the Capitol gave us this opportunity to come together. The 70th Hunger Games were exciting for all of us." I look at the platform and the family members. They seem none to kind of this statement. "especially the players." I look into one of the cameras and smile warmly or try to. "Thank you."

I get a few claps and walk back to the mayor. He gives closing remarks before he leads us back inside.

"That was very good Annie." Libra says and takes the card from my hand.

"You think so." I say and look at the others.

They give nods and Finnick smiles.

I let out a breath I didn't realizing I was holding in. This wasn't as bad as I thought it would be I can see myself doing this 12 more times.

What about the Capitol? What about 7? What about 5? I shake those thoughts from my head. I can worry about those Districts later.

I take the earmuffs and gloves off. Penny takes them from me.

"Thank you." I say. She nods and hands them to Zen.

"Sorry about the cold weather, I know it is much different than you are used to." The mayor says.

"You can't control the weather besides I got to see snow" I say with a smile.

The fluff on the trees were white and fluffy but everything else was tainted with coal dust. It was still good enough there is no snow on our trees.

"Good, thank you Miss Annie Cresta." The mayor says again.

"You can just call me Annie." I say.

"Alright then Annie." He says with a smile.

We get lead into what I think is meant to be a conference room. It is filled with a large wooden table with a white cloth over it. There is a bookshelf in the corner and a few stand lamps. The rug on the floor is an ugly green that has stains on it. You can tell they tried to cover it up the best they could.

On table there are green candles on the table as well as plates and silverware. The food is already sitting on the table waiting to be served. The table is going to be a tight fit with eleven plates. I only counted ten people, I wonder who else will be joining us. Finnick said the Head Peacekeeper might show up.

It's not very big but it is charming.

"Miss.. I mean Annie you get the head of the table." The mayor says and leads me there.

"Thank you." I say. He pulls out the chair for me. I'm surprised the mayor is doing this back home the mayor uses his assistant to do such daunting tasks. Everyone else seems to follow.

"Where did the mayor go?" I whisper to Finnick who is sitting next to me.

"Probably to find Haymitch or his family." Finnick says.

"Is that who will fill the extra chair?" I ask.

He nods.

"Probably."

The mayor comes back with the cutest little girl. She is wearing a white ruffly dress and her blonde hair is tied back in a pink ribbon. She looks to be about twelve or thirteen, maybe younger.

"This is my daughter Madge." He says motioning to the little girl.

She does a curtsy.

"Hello Annie." She says softly.

Her Father pulls out the chair next to him and she sits.

"That's a lovely dress Madge." I say.

I can see Zen roll his eyes. He must not agree with me.

She blushes.

"Thank you."

"Alright you may start whenever you're ready Annie." The mayor says.

It must be serve it yourself then. I take what I think is the meat and put a large piece on my plate and pass it around the table.

I'm looking at the meat carefully trying to figure out what it is.

"The dinner tonight is all fresh. The venison the butcher chopped this morning. The bread was made fresh today and fresh greens are from the best vendors." The mayor says and smiles.

Haymitch comes into the room and grumbles.

"Dinner time?" He asks and slumps into the only open seat, which conveniently is next to Oscar.

"Yes." The mayor says angrily.

"We also have sweet wine, just for this occasion." They mayor says.

"Oh I don't really-"

"They made this stuff just for you sweetheart." Haymitch says and takes the bottle.

The mayor sighs clearly annoyed by this.

"I appreciate it but alcohol makes me sick." I say. I don't like the stuff. I guess I could've been polite and drank it.

"More for me." Haymitch laughs.

"It's quite alright." The mayor smiles, but looks upset.

I wonder if I should've just drank the stuff. If Haymitch is correct when saying they made it just for me then I feel bad. However, it looks like the liquid won't be lost Haymitch is downing a bottle already.

"Everything else looks delicious." I say. I've never had venison before. Not really sure what type of animal it is from but like most meats I don't like it. I grew up with mostly fish and the occasional chicken so other animals taste strange to me. Strange isn't bad, but there is something about this that makes it unappealing.

"What type of meat is venison?" I ask.

"Deer Miss... I mean Annie." The mayor says and smiles. He looks nervous

"Oh, we don't have that in District 4." I say.

"Is it not to your liking because I could-"

"No, it's perfect I was just curious." I say. I'm going to eat everything on my plate no matter how much I dislike it seeing those faces, I'm sure loads of those people would do anything for this meal. I'm not going to waste it just because I don't like it.

"Good." He says

"Is this a common dish?" I ask and take another bite.

"Not really we save it for special occasions, one like today, celebrating your win." The mayor says and raises his wine glass.

I smile.

I get the feeling this isn't true. It might be hard to come by. I wonder what they would serve if they couldn't find one.

Libra is looking at Haymitch with disgust. While the rest of us are eating with knives and forks he is picking up his food with his fingers and eating with his mouth open.

"This is why I like coming to these events they give out the best stuff." Haymitch slurs and laughs.

I smile at him. I'm not sure how to talk to him.

The sound of forks scraping against the plates is all I hear now.

Oscar and Haymitch laugh and make jokes much to the mayor's dismay. Finnick tries to start a conversation a few times but it doesn't pan out. I like eating in silence it makes chewing easier.

"What's District 4 like?" The mayor's daughter asks.

"Warm, we don't have weather like this." I say.

The girl smiles.

"Must be nice, I hate the cold." She says.

"But you get to see snow." I say.

She smiles again and takes a bite of her vegetables.

"Is everyone finished?" The mayor asks and everyone nods. It makes me angry that Penny didn't eat any of her vegetables. I can't reach across the table and take them from her.

Didn't she see the crowd? Doesn't she care at all?

"I will get the dessert then."

Again the mayor is the one who is cleaning the dishes. I ask if he wants help and he looks horrified by this request. I hope I didn't embarrass him, I was only trying to help. After I say this someone -I think they were preparing dessert- comes out to help.

"I hope dessert is good, I don't think that meal will sit well with my stomach." Libra says.

"That's what all you Capitol people say." Haymitch slurs. He doesn't even try to act nice. I wonder what part he is supposed to be playing. If it is the town drunk he is doing an excellent job.

"Wow." I say when the cake is placed on the table. I almost don't want them to cut into it because it is so beautiful.

The frosting is all different colors it is so nice how all the hues mix together perfectly. The purple fading to blues. The yellow fading to soft orange is so pretty that I wish I could meet the person who made it.

"Who's the baker?" I ask.

"It's from Mellark's Bakery I'm not sure who does the cakes." The mayor says.

"If you like this Annie you will be very taken with the desserts they have in the Capitol." Libra says.

"I am sure they are much better than this." The mayor says sheepishly.

"This is perfect please tell the baker how beautiful it is." I say.

"I will Annie." The mayor says with a smile.

I'm trying to think of who the victor was last year because the mayor seems surprised by my polite nature and complements.

It gets cut and it is a nice chocolate cake. I get the first piece and look down at it, it has two layers and looks so delicious and tastes delicious too. It looks like everyone agrees by the smiles. I'm surprised Haymitch is using a fork it's the first utensil he's used all night.

By the time the meal is over it is dark out. The mayor left us after we got in the car to take us to the train station.

I look up at the sky and there is not a single cloud. The stars are so bright in the sky.

Finnick points out a few constellations as we wait to board the train.

The District may smell like death, but some of the nature is beautiful but that doesn't help with all the problems.

"You did a good job." Finnick says.

"Thank you. I think I insulted the mayor a few times though."

"We'll go over that later we didn't tell you, you shouldn't offer help instead of letting people treat you like royalty." He says.

I nod and the train door opens.

When I walk inside the warm air greets me like an old friend.

"I'm glad it will be warmer in 11." Oscar says.

"Yes." Libra says.

"So are we going to go over anything or-"

"We'll make notes tomorrow for everything you did wrong." Libra says.

"Don't worry, it wasn't a lot." Finnick says.

"Okay." I say worried anyway.

"I can tell you some of the stuff now." Finnick offers.

"That's okay I think I want to be alone for the rest of the night." I say.

"Okay." Finnick says.

When we get to my room Finnick tells me goodnight. I take a shower and wash the scent of District 12 away.

I must have zoned out because the water is cold when I step onto the bathmat.

I plop down on the bed feeling clean. This District was easy but I don't think the others will be. The sight of the District was the worst part of the visit.

I close my eyes hoping for a dreamless sleep which doesn't come. I see myself in District 12 starving to death and killed by the demonic birds from the arena. I'm never going to be able to escape that sandy pit from hell. Even when I'm not there the birds still find me.


End file.
